Phaaze

2 posts
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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 4
I don't really like the first paragraph, but I added it anyway because the story seemed to hasty without it. What do you guys think?
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Look to the sky to see us, a luminous blue dot in the inky blackness of space. Look closer, and the dot becomes a sphere, its surface shifts and swirls with a thick, slimy cobalt substance. The atmosphere churns with dark toxic clouds, indigo lightning streaks through the gas. This is our planet, our source.

Who are we? Sentient beings call us “phazon”. We are indifferent to that name. A single word cannot convey the depths of the enigma of our existence; it is only a reference to our being.

What we are, however… Words can explain a portion. A radioactive substance, a form of energy, an infectious virus, a colony of organisms, an omnipotent entity… We are all of these things; thinking, breathing, growing, spreading, greedily absorbing life to add to our own might.

In our purest form, our matter becomes energy, traveling faster than gamma rays, causing more havoc in molecules than any nuclear radiation. Our matter is formed from this energy, a puddle of a volatile, mutation inducing liquid element. Within the celestial collection of this blue substance, lies our life energy, the force that drives us as a living organism; that which allows us to continue to exist. As our matter spreads like a lethal pathogen, we contaminate other organisms, corrupting them by adding our DNA to their own. These small, insignificant blips of existence become a part of us, to be controlled by the will of our colony, the will of our essence. This is how we grow, how we can survive, as any other life form must.

Certain beings look down upon us as evil; an upset to the balance of nature. To be blunt, such beings are hypocrites. They build their great monuments of stone and steel, their machines that burn their planets’ resources, fouling the ecosystems with their corrupted wars. We do not act in this way. We are not born of strife, ambition and greed. We do only what we must to further our essence. As we are threatened by the ravages of space, we must seek new worlds, new beings on which to feed, only so we can survive.

This war humans now fight against us is a danger to our existence. To survive, we will fight back, using any and all means necessary. The warping of the minds of other beings holds no sentiment in our hearts. If we do not fight back, if we stop our battle to consider the well being of your species, we invite death and extinction to ourselves. True, we contribute nothing to the ecosystem of planets in any known galaxy. That does not matter. A virus will not pause to sympathize with the cell it infects, it only thinks to further the species; to survive and prosper
I've been blinded...

BY SCIENCE!!!




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 57
Very intresting!

I've never played the game, so that made it funner to read.
Vocabulary was nice, the words were very epic and intro-like.

Let's see.... each paragraph was written very well in my humble opinion, they went from one to the next very well.

You missed a period at the end, but everything else looks great!

Not a satisfactory review, but I wanted you to know this is writtern very well.
:smt023 :smt023
~S.P.E.W~ "Special People Enthusiastically Writing"

*sigh* "Another day, another death course."
Ratchet



Doubt thou the stars are fire, doubt that the sun doth move. Doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt I love.
— "Hamlet," William Shakespeare