A Place Called Home

A Place Called Home

One voice.
One dream.
One hope.

A million like
come from a million different ways.
A million things to know,
a million words to say.

Silence the bad,
silence the crowd.
Who would have thought
one voice could speak so loud?

Listen to that voice
and let it guide you.
Listen to that voice,
it is inside you.

A nation unites
all the people conform.
And through one voice
they make it through the storm.

So one voice becomes many
many become one;
and we find ourselves a better world.
We find ourselves a place called home.

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The political part ... if you were wondering... is in the final stanza that I did not include in this post because I didn't want people's views on this poem to be too much inflicted by the person's name included in it...if you really want to read the "lost stanza" lol just pm me and I will give it to you...

I think without the final stanza it's already quite political, but along the lines of originality, no. Let me show you a song by one of my fave bands, Anti-Flag:

The people, united, will never be defeated.
The people, united, will never be defeated.
The people, united, will never be defeated.
The people, united, will never be defeated.
The people, united, will never be defeated.
The people, united, will never be defeated.

Alright!

Time to see the world as a whole!
Time to light the fire with the fuel!
That's a conscience movement,
in our hearts.
Everywhere you look red white and blue
Everywhere you look they're fooling you.

Every revolutionary
was once considered an enemy
Cointel underminded the life
Of Dr. Martin Luther King
Everywhere you look red white and blue
Everywhere you look they're fooling you.

One people, one struggle!
Stand United, Stand Peaceful!
One people, one struggle.

Time to see the world as a whole.
Time to light the fire with the fuel.
That's a conscience movement,
in each and every one of your hearts!
Everywhere you look red white and blue
Everywhere you look they're fooling you.

One people, one struggle!
Stand United, Stand Peaceful!
One people, one struggle.

One people, one struggle!
Stand United, Stand Peaceful!
One people, one struggle.

The union,
Of free thinking,
Colors don't,
Mean liberty.
The union,
Of free thinking,
The union,
Of free thinking.

The people, united, will never be defeated.
The people, united, will never be defeated.
The people, united, will never be defeated.
The people, united, will never be defeated!

One people, one struggle!
Stand United, Stand Peaceful!

One people, one struggle!
Stand United, Stand Peaceful!

One people, one struggle!
Stand United, Stand Peaceful!

One people, one struggle!
Stand United, Stand Peaceful!

The people, united, will never be defeated.
The people, united, will never be defeated.
The people, united, will never be defeated.
The people, united, will never be defeated!

Now look here, this is basically the same. But whereas your, so called political stanza may of given it some originality. Without it, it trite and contrived, same old, same old.

Overall: Add the last stanza and pm me back, then I can say whether this is original or not.

Good luck
VSN

You can't just edit out the last stanza because it's too political! I mean, that's the whole punch of your poem. It would be like getting rid of the ending of the novel or something serious. Besides, a lot of poetry is political in nature. So don't censor yourself just because you're afraid of debate. Debates aren't allowed in the literary forums anyway, so if a debate does happen, just PM me or another moderator and I'll kick some debating butt.

"A million like
come from a million different ways."

Like... what? :S

Hmm... A sad and true poem.
I have a few minor things I would like to address.

"Silence the bad,
silence the crowd."

I would like to know about... the good? If you silence the crowd one would hope there is good in the crowd so if you silence it how do you hear the good? The one good voice that continues on throughout the poem?
I think... perhaps you can change it.

In your fifth stanza, you start your third line with AND, which ... usually isn't a good thing to start a sentence with. A line, yes, but a sentence. I think you should take the AND out of the beginning. Also in the 4th line of the 5th stanza you say "They" will etc... and is THEY the NATION or the NONCONFORMISTS?
I see it as either way. It'd be a bit better if you somehow clarified the word "they".

I think that the last stanza was great for this piece. It summarized it, and I liked the wording.

(Don't listen to my crazy anti-american government boyfriend -- you can add the stanza if you want to or not. I think this is pretty original... because it wasn't offensive or hateful. That's why we're in Narrative Poetry )

---Elizabeth

I sounds a little like Martin Luther King's 'I have a dream' speech, but not in a bad way. A more, developed, structured way.
I like the line breaks and it is grammatically sound too.
However, I don't like the rhyming scheme that much in the last 2 stanzas, where it sounds more forced. 'Conform' and 'storm' just don't do it for me, whereas 'one' and 'home' is a half-rhyme and doesn't follow the them of the rest of the poem. 'Conform' and 'reform' perhaps?
Having said all that, I love the poignancy of the last stanza and its delivery.
'All the people conform' could change to 'all its people conform', which rolls more easly off the tongue.
It's a great poem, and keep writing!
Sday

I disagree. Anything that does not confirm and conclude the message of the piece at the end is useless. Otherwise your intention can be misunderstood.
I think its a very pleasing poem. Simple and to the point.
Well done