First Drink

Haha, okay, I might as well throw in my two cents too.

First of all, I think you use the word "drink" a bit too much here. Every other word seems to be drink, and it's slightly annoying in that way. If you revised it so that there was more character involve and the mention of drinks would be dispersed, then it might be better.

Also, I think the person who suggested the, "Add a character!" thing is right. Right now, this seems to be a strange introduction that doesn't catch, so it sort of fails. If you can include a character who seems even the slightest bit human, it's going to be much catchier and your message will have a better chance of sticking.

Good luck with your bunch of short stories!

What could be good with this is you found another word to use for drink and kept us guessing and didn't mention until the end that the narrative was about drink

adeleay wrote:I think it is quite good however what does 'first drink' really represent. Is it the first exposure to alcohol or is it the first drink that causes your emotions to numb?
Still i think it is actually quite good. And as for length it's about quality not quantity. Although, it could be a little longer

Adele x

In this context, the 'first drink' simply means breaking her dry spell - the first drink in a series or a night.
Thank you. Length isn't one of my strong points.

The idea was to be highly repetitive, and I didn't want any specific character with this. It was more of a style experiment than anything.