First of all, I loved your story. It's so different and unique. It shows what happens to real people. The abuse and the love and how the little kids acted. Nicely done. And I have to day, I enjoyed all the feelings the pencil had and how it "acted." I'm going to think about my pencil next time I pick it up. XD Anyway, I really liked it. Your story completely drew me in and I get bored easily. So, thumbs up. :]
"The things that we're frightened of, or told to be frightened of, are not necessarily the things that we need to fear."
-Michael Moore
As much as I love the concept of this story, there are a few points I'd like to make.
Firstly I do feel that the warning at the beginning did sort of detract from the story, and it would have been better if it had simply left out (in my opinion).
The old man was a great character to start with, as a powerufl and emotional event unfolded, but I did feel the other characters lacked the development and so I fet less empathy with them. The ending lines seemed a little corny as well.
Finally, I thought the pen was great (I love the idea of an 'inky villian') and more should have been made of it; a running rivalry between the two, for example.
Overall, however, I wholeheartedly admire your courage for proceeding with such an original and ambitious idea- making an interesting story from the viewpoint of a pencil- and, aside from a few very minor quibbles, succeeded- well done!
