Anti-Poetry

*note*
this is a satirical poem. it was written to ironic and funny so don't get too analytical when making your comments.



ANTI-POETRY

You know what I can't stand to see?

Every time I look up somebody got some new poetry to show me.

Poems are just too repetitious and down right lame!

After reading three or four they all sound the same.

Assonance is always an aggravating, annoying accomplice.

Alliterations are fake fortune 500s frauds use for a fast fix.

Metaphors are the annoying gum that gets stuck in your hair.

Similes are like the car accidents that force you to stop and stare.

Once you get past the deep, dark, abyss of imagery,

BAM!!! There’s an onomatopoeia before you get to line three.

Consonance would never advance enough to trance me to dance.

An allusion by any other name would never get a second glance.

But somehow Personification walks its way into just about every piece.

And it throws me off when a poet doesn’t rhyme.

What really gets me mad is when they

Finish a sentence on the next line like it’s okay.

On the reasons I hate poetry, I’ve only given you a fraction.

Just do me a favor a stop writing poems that end with a call for action!!!

Just do me a favor a stop writing poems that end with a call for action!!!
Just do me a favor and stop writing poems that end with a call for action!!!

I second that!

You missed the nd on and though.

This seems more suited to performance poetry than anything (yes, I have seen the note about satire). There's a nice rhythm to it, but other than it being emotional, there's not enough that would make a point the second or third time through.

Poems are just too repetitious and down right lame!
After reading three or four they all sound the same.

and

Metaphors are the annoying gum that gets stuck in your hair.

In the middle of lines like "Alliterations are fake fortune 500s frauds use for a fast fix", the lines above sound wishy-washy and can barely stand up on their own. Notice how effective the "Alliterations..." line was, and it didn't even need three exclamation marks at the end of it? Punctuation is helpful in communicating feeling in a poem, but it really can't create it. Hence, "BAM!!!" doesn't do a whole lot for the poem.

I know the defence for this is probably the satire platform, but what you have here isn't really satire. Satire looks to inflate an idea to the point of ridiculousity or to use subtle mockery and sarcasm to make a point (or both). But that generally doesn't happen here; this is just a rant about the current state of poetry.

You know what? I actually kind of agree with you, sometimes This has nice rhyming, by the way, though it wasn't very much of a poem in that way. What am I saying? Well, I hope you'll figure it out. Haha.

I have a feeling you think about things the same way as I do. Don't ask where I got it from. Maybe that's partly because I have actually written a "poem" quite similar to this, and now I can't ever post it here, because people would think I've started to copy you. So thanks a bunch.

I hope to see you around, 3-D.