When dawn arrives

I only scaned through a few of the other reviews and inda agreed with some of the stuff they said - your story was really well written, i liked it, but i think ther emotions were jumping all over the place. and a man has just died and they didnt try to save him? normally (i wouldntealy know, i just watch hospital programs lol) they would try to resusitate him, they could be beating on his heart for ages before they called it a day. and what realy freaked me out was the bit at the end, i so wasnt expecting that! i was expecting a womans hard life with a job that was difficult and she was always under pressure, not being harrased by one of the feloow doctors two seconds after a man died with a dead body in the room! i saw no hint of a connection between them before, no hint that he would try to have her, it was just so strange! lol i really liked the style of writing, it would be the kind of book i could get into but you seriosely need to change the end, put the juicy stuff in the next chapter, they are in his pffice and he is drinking whiskey and they are both tired from the day and then they fall into each others arms lol. great wor though, like i siad your style of writing is great, pulls the reader in

*singerofthenight* wrote:Prologue

“His blood pressures dropping, Doctor.”

The responsibility for the patient was fully in Kate’s hands. New anxiety welled up in her. She didn’t need this. She’d had more that she could handle already tonight.

fully in kate's hands? then whats the doctor doing, sitting around drinking coffee? (i'm assuming that kate is the nurse.)

“Get the crash cart in here!” Kate yelled, and motioned for a syringe to administer the medication straight to the heart. Her own heart was in her throat. Panic made her hands shake. For the second time that night, she was presiding over a dying patient.

hmm...not too much i can say here. good description of how she's feeling.

“What’s the deal here?” Dr. John Lincoln asked, frustrated.

“I…I wa….” Kate stammered, but was cut off short by Dr. Lincolns furious glare.

“Did you administer the clot buster?” He demanded, waiting impatiently for a reply.

“I didn’t think it was necessary. His vitals showed no signs of…..” She tried to explain, only to be cut off by his curt exclamation.

“Enough! You’ve wasted enough time already. Now get out of my way so I can save this mans life!” He spat, giving her a brief look of disgust.

i dont know what your reading, but doctors never act like this in real life when tending to life-and-death situations. they need their nurses and wont involve themselves in petty bickering until the patient is saved. also, why is he so angry in the first place? by the looks of it, he just came storming in through the doors and is angry for no reason.

She stood there gaping at him. Who does he think he is? Ordering me around like I’m a dog….Why I outta…..

put this in italics if she's thinking it.

“You can’t just order me around like that!” She stated angrily.

well, actually he can. he's a doctor and she's his assistant. also, "stated angrily" sounds incredibly strange. dont be passive, use "yelled" or "stormed" or something better.

“I said enough Kate! We’ll be lucky if he survives, after all the time you’ve wasted.” He replied before proceeding to administer the medication to the patients IV.

um, ok. she's wasted time? how does he know? he just came in! (if he was here the whole time, by the way, then you havent made that clear at all in the beginning.)

“Your gonna kill him John! You know that that medication is only used when dealing with a heart attack!” She grumbled, recalling a case like this years ago. Just the thought of it sent shivers down her spine. She could still remember what happened, and by God, it wasn’t going to happen again.

don't use "grumbled", it sounds like she's a small child who resents being scolded. first of all, she's an adult. second of all, she's in a lifesaving operation and her tone should be of panic and utter frustration, not "grumbling".

i like the end of that paragraph, though. shows that there was something else in her life, something dark and mysterious, before this day.

Not if there’s something I have to say about it.

again, put it in italics.

“Kate! Enough is enough!” He yelled, making her jump.

um, why does she jump now? he's been yelling at her since the beginning! also, you already used the word "enough" earlier; change it to a synonym.

Their argument was interrupted by the sudden change in the patients heart beat. His vital signs seem to jump up and down before stopping all together. Suddenly the patient stated shaking uncontrollably then lay still. The life line went flat.

this section was as lifeless as the man on the operation table. he got up, he bounced around, then he died. there was no mention of his panic-stricken eyes or wrenching movements of death or anything. you absolutely need to convey how his body is struggling with the concept of dying, even if he's not awake.

“Oh God! John. Look what you’ve done! You killed him.”

“I..It….But….”John stuttered, raked his shaking hands through his hair, and started pacing.

“Look Goddamn it! You just killed a patient.” She cried, grabbing him by the shoulders and giving him a shake.

haha, giving him a shake. that sounds like its no big deal. if a guy just died before her eyes, she should be punching this doctor in her unbridled anger, not simply giving him a "shake".

“Kate, I swear if you don’t get your damn hands off me, I’m going to…..” He started to say but she cut him off short.

“You’re going to what John? Strangle me? Knock me in the head? Kill me? What John. What are you going to do?” She asked, giving him a sardonic smile.

“I don’t know. What are we going to do?” He asked, the color draining form his face.

“We? There is no we to it John.” She stated blandly, shaking her head and backing up away from him.

“What are you talking about Kate? You are just as much involved in this accident as I am.” He replied, slowly following her.

She felt something solid behind her and knew she had backed herself up against the wall. Swallowing the lump that was growing in her throat, she poked him in the chest.

i didn't really get this. first, he's backing away, and then he's suddenly pinning her against a wall. nobody actually does that in an emergency like this; they would be quiet for a few minutes or wantonly yelling at each other, for starters, before they clear their head. instead, theyre standing around having a nice conversation for some reason.

“That’s where you’re wrong John. I told you not to give him the clot buster didn’t I? But no, you had to be all macho and give him the damn medicine. I swear your nothing but a no good, self-centered, over confident…..What are you doing?” She asked, getting scared, but showing no emotion of it. He had her pinned between the wall and his body. His hands were planted to the wall on each side of her head, leaving her no room to move.

what's wrong with this doctor??? if hes really this self-centered and bad at saving people like kate implies he is, then he would be sued out of his degree in a second. you dont become a doctor by arrogantly botching every patients operation.

“Kate! Will you shut the hell up and listen for a goddamn minute?” He asked, pressing his body into hers. Kate Ferguison sure did know how to have a man turn upside down in frustration.

“What the hell do you want John? She asked, trying to wiggle out from between the wall and him, only succeeding in making him press against her even more.

"You." He said simply, turning to walk off. She stood there confused. Did he just say he wanted me? She thought. No. He couldn't have said that. Could he?

now i'm totally confused. this has turned from an ER thriller to a dark romance? actually, this is very funny...suddenly the doctor decides to announce his love for her after killing a man, and they dont even talk about how they're gonna explain this to the family and others. please please please don't do this in a story; switching complete genres is the strangest thing i've seen so far, and the last few paragraphs destroyed any sentiment i had for the characters and their story. what selfish people...they bicker about the patient for ten seconds and then talk about how the doctor has the hots for kate. its weird.

good luck fixing this, i hope to read it again once changes have been made.