Look Out the Window

7 posts
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Gender Male
Points 3925
Reviews 160
Sometimes a man has to feel,
Just to know that he has arrived.
To feel the cold crisp air in your lungs,
Gives a sharp pain to the throat.
It can help you keep real
and aware of what the true danger is:
missing out on what has been placed before you.
Rain beckoning a colder afternoon,
Not a man within sight of the eye.
The trees speak tones louder,
and if one listens,
both to the trees and his own heart,
He can find God wherever he goes.
I'm advertising here: Rosetta...A Determinism of Morality...out May 25th...2010 album of the year, without question.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 3263
Reviews 158
I liked it.
The ryhthm was very unpredictable and hard to detect.

I was surprised by what was coming.

It flowed overally well and the lines were very emotionally striking.
I loved the beginning. It spoke true to it's word.

It's the turht and I liked that..


I love your style

You're just great.


Amazing stuff you have.


9/10
    I'd rather write about this world than live in it
    and I'd rather play music all day
    and read and wander around bookstores
    and watch humans
    but not be one of them.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1075
Reviews 344
I loved it. I truly did.

The last line did it for me.

Keep writing
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

Oscar Wilde.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 270
Wow, excellant work. The last line was fantastic. Great job and keep writing!
Don't send sheep to kill a wolf.




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Gender Male
Points 1416
Reviews 101
absolutely he can find God wherever he goes... even YWS. i liked the poem, rhthym was interesting and unexpected, the mood was good.
Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive




User avatar
Gender None specified
Points 5715
Reviews 206
Yes, very good job. This poem reminds me of standing in a serene forest (for some reason).
Keep up! :)
Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 15
Personally one of the best endings I've ever read.

It was short, sweet and to the point. You got your message across beautifully without being TOO obvious.

You should think about adding to the middle though. I couldn't help thinking "I WANT MORE!!" at the end. lol

Great job, and keep on writing!

~Eyes of Eden
Hey unfaithful, I will teach you to be stronger.
Hey ungraceful, I will teach you to forgive one another.
Hey unloving... I will love you.

~Underoath - Some Will Seek Forgiveness, Other's Escape.



If you don't know it's impossible it's easier to do. And because nobody's done it before, they haven't made up rules to stop anyone doing that again, yet.
— Neil Gaiman