Music

My english class final is to write a series of poetry about my high school memories. Since I've been in band all four years, I figured a poem about music would be apporpriate. This is the very rough draft--what I wrote in class today. Critique it please and help me with the title.

Music

I think that life is made from music
Each note a thought, a voice on a string.
Sound and time spun into rhetoric,
Its essence makes us play and sing.

So, when asked it I would like to be
A member of the band,
Of the eternal chord, harmony,
I picked it up and ran.

A single note reverberates up
To the band room’s white drop ceiling.
It floods the room, water in a cup,
Everything I made, life and feeling.

Okay, this is my new favorite. I love music.

So, when asked it I would like to be
A member of the band,

That first line there didn't seem to make sense. If you lost the 'it' then it might work.

I picked it up and ran.

Picked what up and ran? Be more specific.

alleycat13 wrote:Music

So, when asked it I would like to be <I think you mean to say "if".
A member of the band,
Of the eternal chord, harmony,
I picked it up and ran. <Like Sassykat said, be more spacific, I don't know what you're picking up here.

Wow, this is officially my favourite poem! I loved it! I, like Sassykat,
love music, so I agree with this poem! I enjoyed reading it. OK, what's in red
is my writing, hope I helped!
If you need me to review anything else, shoot me a PM, and I'll take a look!

~xX~Forsakinshadow~Xx~

Is this the the musings of a fellow band geek ? I play Alto sax. I like your poem and how vague it is. But I fear it is too vague even to the point of being random. Peace and Love.

Hello,
Well, theres nothing really I would change about this. I like the rythem and the topic. I haven't read a poem like this before, I like the origanality of it. Love the poem!!

I think that life is made from music
Each note a thought, a voice on a string.

Love these lines!

~Rain~

I've got 5 words for you: I LOVE this poem, AMAZING!

I love music, without music I can't live and this poem tells exactly how I feel about music!

I love it!