Very Well Writen

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Thanatose's Escort
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Tue Apr 29, 2008 7:07 pm
Thanatose's Escort says... · Tue Apr 29, 2008 7:07 pm
This is well written without a doubt. It drew me in making me wonder what other creatures than this "water woman" or vampire exist. Also it made me wonder just how much this Jace character interacts with humans. Well done. I can't dispute much. I suggest losing some wordiness, letting the reader picture how Jace would jump at such a speed but this is your work. Congrats one last time.




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Aedomir
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Points 890
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Tue Apr 29, 2008 7:10 pm
Aedomir says... · Tue Apr 29, 2008 7:10 pm
I think you clicked the wrong button - you made a new topic. Ask a mod to lock it, topics are only for works. Anyhow...

-Mark
We are all Sociopaths: The Prologue

Sociopath: So • ci • o • path noun
1. Someone who believes their behaviour is right.
2. Human.




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myfreindsavamp
Gender Female
Points 2374
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Tue Apr 29, 2008 8:53 pm
myfreindsavamp says... · Tue Apr 29, 2008 8:53 pm
I agree with mark^
-em
We've all been broken in some way. It's just how we express it that makes us dffrent form eachother.

“This precious book of love, this unbound lover,
To beautify him only lacks a cover.”
~William Shakespeare, The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet

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