Is this true?

Elizabeth · 2005-05-19T02:03:15Z

This is a joke that i found. My dad said it was all true and I want opinions. i believe it is the reason why my boyfriend doesn't come over.... now you tell me your opinion, here it is: (PS not suitable for people who don't appreciate humor) Rules for Dating my Daughter Rule One: I am aware that it is concidered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off your hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are idiots. Still, I want to be fair. You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants 10 sizes to big, and I will not object. However, to ensure that your pants do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place at your waist. Rule Two: I'm sure that you have been told that in today's world sex without a barrier can be deadly. Let me elaborate: When it comes to sex, I am the barrier and I will kill you. Rule Three: I have no doubt the you are a popular fellow, with many oppurtunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my daughter, you will continue to date no one but her until she is through with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry. Rule Four: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not fidget and complain. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup -- a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there why don't you do something useful, like change the oil in my car? Rule Five: The following places are not approporiate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are sofas, beds or anything softer than a wooden stool or folding chair; places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight; places where there is darkness; places where the ambient temperature would induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts or anything other than overalls, a sweater and a goose down parka, zipped up to her chin. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better. Rule 6: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been, but on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me. Rule 7: Be careful, be very careful. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When the flashbacks start, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean my guns as I sit at home waiting for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway, you should exit your car, with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safetly and early, then return to your car. There is no need for you to come inside. The camoflauged face in the window is mine.

StormLord

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Sun May 22, 2005 9:26 pm

StormLord says... · Sun May 22, 2005 9:26 pm

Sorry, no chocolates here. Back in my family, chocolate and juice (any kind, as long it isn't water) never last throughout the day

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Teeeeo.

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Sun May 29, 2005 9:13 pm

Teeeeo. says... · Sun May 29, 2005 9:13 pm

TBR you liar, your backyard isn't that small!
You should still be able to fit a pile of pizza boxes, 7 dwarfs, a bucket of prosthetic limbs, and the 5th avacado...
And your dad really asked that? He's kinda creepy...

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Areida

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Sun May 29, 2005 9:17 pm

Areida says... · Sun May 29, 2005 9:17 pm

Hunter wrote:*gives box o' chocolates* there ya go.

Woo hoo!! *eats chocolate at an alarming rate*

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"Most of us have far more courage than we ever dreamed we possessed."
- Dale Carnegie

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StormLord

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Mon May 30, 2005 8:39 pm

StormLord says... · Mon May 30, 2005 8:39 pm

Hey, save some for me! plz...

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Areida

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Mon May 30, 2005 8:41 pm

Areida says... · Mon May 30, 2005 8:41 pm

*sighs* Oh all right.

*hands you a piece of chocolate* But that's all you get. It's mine, I found it! *begins stroking chocolate box, hissing something about "Precious"*

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"Most of us have far more courage than we ever dreamed we possessed."
- Dale Carnegie

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Nai

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Mon May 30, 2005 8:43 pm

Nai says... · Mon May 30, 2005 8:43 pm

::hands Storm his own chocolate box and gives 4 more boxes to Areida::

lol there, problem solved

ἓν οἶδα ὅτι οὐδὲν οἶδα

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StormLord

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Wed Jun 01, 2005 11:17 am

StormLord says... · Wed Jun 01, 2005 11:17 am

Somebody's feeling generous this week... Keep it up!

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Elelel

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Sat Jun 04, 2005 2:36 am

Elelel says... · Sat Jun 04, 2005 2:36 am

I have never been on a date, but I doubt my dad is like that.

He's not funny enough.
What MY dad would do it start asking all these questions, which would be basically be saying to make fun of me having a boyfriend, EXCEPT THEY WOULDN'T BE FUNNY but he'd be doing his little laugh anyway because HE would think they're funny ... and he'd ask all the questions that he'd be supposed to ask after the boy's left BEFORE he leaves, and aply the above rules. My dad is so embarressingly dorky.

But I think he'd trust me ... to a degree. I've never don't anything really untrustworthy ... except for that time I was about 10 and rallied all the kids playing at out place to run away ... but that was just once.

Oh, you're angry! Click your pen.
--Music and Lyrics

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tinkerbell_09

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Sun Jun 05, 2005 5:14 am

tinkerbell_09 says... · Sun Jun 05, 2005 5:14 am

I think my brother's saying those things. He's a little bit protective because of the fact that I'm the only girl in the family. But i think he's just taking care of me. Or just being kind.

I live not because God wants me to. But because I have the will to go on.LIFE IS HARD. And I don't know why. And I don't plan to understand.

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