Delete

I sat down at the computer and mashed the button that turned it on. The little blue light flickered twice before blinking on and the whirring noises of the computer “thinking” proceeded. The opening logo stayed before my eyes for several seconds before switching to the log on screen. I selected my icon and left the room for a couple seconds, when I returned, my screen was fully loaded with the dull blue background gazing at me.

I went searching for the folder labeled “My documents” and when I found it, I opened it and sorted through a labyrinth of folders titled any of many names. Eventually, I came to what I had been looking for, the one titled “Love”. I rolled my eyes, this is just my thing, to go back and view my sappy “I’m so emotional” poetry.

I read one, so cliché and idiotic:

The beat, the pulse,
I want a name.
To take of my mask and show
A painted face of true emotion.

Less tense dreaming.
More free breathing.
The glances reflect.
What do I want?

A depression,
An obsession,
Curdles inside me;
Bleeding and crying out in shame.

Pound the walls.
Tear down the door.
I’ll make it out alive.

I rolled my eyes at it and wished it didn’t exists.

Wait.

It didn’t have to exist. I could highlight all of it with one click and a swift motion of my hand. Then, I could hit “delete” and it’d disappear. Forever.
I smirked at the power the computer had gifted me with and I wielded so insanely.

I highlighted the poem and took a glance at it before clicking delete. Then the words were gone, I sat back in my chair and rested my hands on my stomach, pleased with the well done work. I closed my eyes.

Horror found me as I realized the words were singed into the back of my eyelids in bold white letters. Even when that faded, I found that the statements made would not fade from my memory.

I sat up and hit the delete button several times, each time my finger came down slightly harder on the keyboard until I was pounding at it with my fist.

Delete, delete, delete, it wouldn’t go away. The memory of a time I didn't want to remember wouldn't fade.

Delete.

Delete.

Delete.

I. NITPICKS

Talking_Pinata wrote:I sat down at the computer and mashed the button that turned it on. The little blue light flickered twice before blinking on and the whirring noises of the computer “thinking” proceeded. The opening logo stayed before my eyes for several seconds before switching to the log on screen. I selected my icon and left the room for a couple seconds, when I returned, my screen was fully loaded with the dull blue background gazing at me.

Okay, the problem here is that you don't tell us what she did for a "couple of seconds" either nix it or tell us. Did she go turn on the TV? Turn it off? Turn on the Radio? What??

I searched for the folder labeled “My Documents," and when I found it, I opened it and sorted through a labyrinth of folders titled any of many names. Eventually, I came to what I had been looking for, the one titled “Love”. I rolled my eyes, this is just my thing, to go back and view my sappy “I’m so emotional” poetry.

The bolded phrase sounds funny...you should re-word it.

I rolled my eyes at it and wished it didn’t exists.

She already rolled her eyes so you should say "once again" or something and her reaction to the story. Also, change to "exist".

II. OVERALL IMPRESSION

I thought this was a really good, sound piece. Just a few small problems. It's an interesting topic and highly relateable. We all have that crappy stuff we wrote and were like, "omg diz is lyk da best thing ive written!11" years ago and we look back at it...ew....

So, yep. Nice work.

Periwinkle came and attacked it first! How suprising! Thankyou! I'll be looking into the nitpicks soon ^^

Could everyone try to give their opinions on the overall story? As well as nitpicks, that is a lovely way of reviewing in my eyes.

If you really don't have time though, I guess a normal review will do...