Oceans and Broken Branches

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Gender Female
Points 6165
Reviews 665
This poem is really short...
I couldn't think of anything else. : Shrugs :

I prayed for oceans
At the crack of a wooden door
Instead I find a sleeping world
Of broken branches and ended roads
And little boys with dry tears
Who’ve been told, “Men don’t cry.”

I have yet to find the secret
To everlasting life
Since everything hides behind wooden doors

And until then, we can watch the sun shine
In every language and
We’ll always wonder how to laugh—
When, where, and why
when there's nowhere to go, it's time to grow up.




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Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 148
Pretty good. Not particularly haunting, or anything, but I liked it.

I especially liked the line(s) about the boys with dry tears.
"The only difference between me and a mad man is that I am not mad."
-Salvador Dali, surrealist




Random avatar
Gender None specified
Points 1078
Reviews 333
"Instead I find a sleeping world "

Shouldn't it be "I found a sleeping world"?

The poem was kind of short, but it still seemed complete. I thought the shortness of it made it more effective.The last stanza was very thought-provoking (to me, at least). I can't stop going back and reading it... Nice poem.




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 915
The last line made me...gag.

You can do better than a string of words that are as empty as a gutted fish. You need an image to conclude with; otherwise, good.
"If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders." -Hal Abelson




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 49
i liked the ending, i liked the whole poem, good job.



My existence is political. And love is my statement.
— Kevin Abstract