I really liked that story. It has some things that I can relate to and some I can't at all. I think it would be fine just by itself or with another couple of chapters. Keep writing!
Just to let everyone know, the next two chapters are in "Other Fiction" I don't plan on posting any more of this draft, but I would very much like some opinions. This week I was thinking about it and decided that I need to completely restructure the way the story is working.
Please, sit down before you fall down.
Belloq, "Raiders of the Lost Ark"
