Something woke me up. The room was dark, and everybody was still asleep, curled up on their beds. I looked around, thought about turning on a light, but decided against it. Then I heard it, footsteps in the hallway.
I groaned and rolled back over, tucking my head under the
blankets. I was used to people walking down the halls at night, it happened
all the time. I closed my eyes, but something about the footsteps made
them weird. Made me listen even harder. They were oddly spaced, as if
whoever was walking was pausing between every step. I listened harder.
Whoever it was didn’t want to be heard.
As quietly as possible I got up and walked barefoot across the
cold hardwood flooring to the door. I opened the door a crack, enough that
it didn’t squeak or make noise, and peered out.
Long blonde hair fell over a black leather jacket. A girl looked
around for a second, and continued, trying to be as quiet as possible as she
made her way toward the stairs. It was Kyra, and she was trying to sneak
out.
If I were any other person, a bold person, I would have stepped
out of the room, walked up to her, and told her that she wouldn’t be able to
make it out the gates. There were monitors everywhere that would alert the
staff to people who anywhere near them anytime after ten thirty.
But I wasn’t a bold person. I was me. All I could do was stand
and watch through the crack of the door as Kyra made her way down the
stairs and out the door.
I closed the door as quietly as possible and went back to my
bed. In the moments before I fell back asleep all I could think about was
Kyra and why she was sneaking out.
When the alarm signaled at seven, all five of us groaned
together. Samantha was the only one who got up without complaining.
“Wake up. Jeez, you all are so lazy,” Samantha said, smiling.
She reached into her closet, grabbed some clothes and her toiletry kit, and
walked out the room. I got up next and did the same. Early bird gets the
shower.
On the way out I heard a voice.
“There are too many people,” she said. I rounded the corner.
Kyra was leaning against the wall, but she was alone.
“I don’t think it was her, she didn’t look like Betha…No…look, I’ll
talk to you later okay, somebody’s coming.”
Kyra looked up at me, her lilac eyes wide and stunning.
“Hi,” she said, trying to smile it off. Something was wrong about
the smile. It was too forced.
“Hi,” I replied. I didn’t know whether to stop, or keep walking.
What would somebody else have done? Stopped?
“Well, see you around,” Kyra said, rushing off down the hall and
to the stairs.
Too late to find out. With a sigh I went to my room and picked
up my books. Breakfast was the usual occasion of bacon, eggs, toast and
assorted fruits. They wanted us to eat so much more than we actually did. I
got just the fruit and sat down at my usual table, working on my English
homework while I ate.
As the bell rang for morning classes I noticed that neither Kyra
nor Jacob had showed up for breakfast. Weird. I went through morning
classes like I normally did. Sit down, get out homework, and do class work:
next. Don’t speak unless spoken too.
At lunch I snuck off to the field. I didn’t want to sit at that table
again. I normally didn’t mind. I liked solitude, and for most of my life had
been completely okay with having my own table, and never saying a word.
Now it seemed different. I wanted, for once in my life, to have somebody
who cared about me. I was tired of being the forgotten orphan.
The field greeted me with its usual rush of beauty and solitude. I
looked around. The flowers seemed to be mocking me, each and every
single on stared on, never alone. I dropped my bag to the ground where it
landed with a thudding crunch.
Tired of being the last one chosen, the odd one out, the perfect
example.
Tired of being alone.
Tired of secrets.
Tired of silence.
It welled up and erupted in a scream. A scream to feed the
empty beauty, to shock the laughing flowers and still the proud earth. I fell
to my knees as the scream turned to tears, falling fast and hard, feeding
the yellowed grass.
I sat alone, with the silence creeping back like a child hit one too
many times. Hesitant, but still there. I stared out; unseeing, letting tears
fall freely. It had been years since I cried.
Her hair was long and beautiful, waving down her back like a
scarlet rose. Her eyes seemed to smile all on their own, a pure honey brown
color. I didn’t have her eyes; I had my father’s eyes.
“Anica,” she said, looking down at me. Hey had no smile in them
now. So sad. Why was she sad? “Honey, I’m so sorry.”
My eyebrows furrowed. Why was she looking at me like that?
“Mommy,” I said, “why are you crying?”
She shook her head, crying harder now. I put my arms around
her waist. She was shaking, and I started to shake with her. She pulled me
away from her and kneeled down so we were eye to eye. She looked so
serious, so sad.
“I’m sorry. So sorry,” she said. Why did she keep saying that? I
opened my mouth to ask, but her finger fell over it, quieting me.
“I have to go away for a while,” she said. “I don’t know when I’ll
be back.”
She stopped talking, and the shaking continued, traveling from
her finger to my mouth. I pulled back a little.
“Am I coming with you?”
She shook her head. “No, we have to be apart for a little while.”
I shook my head, slowly at first, but faster, until my hair was
whipping over my face.
“No,” I said. “I want to come with you.”
“I know, baby. I know.” My mom pulled me into a hug. I pushed
my face into the warmth of her shoulder. My head fit perfectly there, it
always had. She would protect me.
“Don’t leave,” I said. “You can’t leave me by myself. Not like
Daddy.”
“Daddy didn’t want to leave either,” she said, “But he had to.
Like I have to now.”
I shook my head again. Spreading tears from my face onto her
shoulder where it soaked into her shirt.
“I’m not leaving you alone,” she said. “You’ll have friends, you’ll
have food, and a place to call home. You’ll never have to worry about being
alone.”
I tucked my head further into the space between her neck and
shoulder, held on tighter. She wouldn’t be able to get me off. She wouldn’t
leave. I didn’t want friends. I didn’t want a place to call home. I wanted her.
“I’ll be back,” she said, stroking my hair.
“No you won’t,” I said, hugging her tighter. I wouldn’t let go. Not
ever.
“I promise.” I was pried from her, one arm at a time. She held
my arms together in one hand, like it was nothing. She wasn’t crying
anymore. She was really going to leave me, here at this strange stone
castle. She was going to abandon me.
I looked at her with hard eyes.
“Daddy promised, too.”
I looked up from the grass, dry-eyed and numb. Every emotion
had left in those tears, and now it was nothing but empty space to fill. I
stood, picked up my bag and looked around the field once more. On the
opposite side of the field, across from me, there was a small white spot
interrupting the green.
I walked over, keeping my eye on the spot so I couldn’t lose it.
Soon I was standing over a small white puff of dandelion, new enough to be
that snow white color you almost never see. I reached down and pulled it out
of the grass, snapping the stem in half.
I held it up, just in front of my face. My lips pursed as if to blow
on it, as if to wish again. I took in a deep breath, eyes never leaving the
delicate seeds. I let my fingers loose and the dandelion dropped to the
ground, unused.
Wish bones, rabbit’s feet, karma, love, family. Nothing but broken promises and shattered hearts, I was tired of being told lies. I stepped on the dandelion, watching the seeds fall off and float away. They would come back. They always did.
__________________________________
So, I would love some feedback on what you thought about this. What is your honest opinion?
Things I want to know about....
1. My characters, what do you think about them?
2. Anica- is she a good narrator? What do you, and do you not like about her?
3. Does this seem to be going anywhere?
4. What is your least favorite part, and why?
Thank you so much, I really appreciate the reading =D
-JC
