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Thankyou for the critiques!

Hey there.

The random bleep of items being scanned echoed through the large, marble-tiled grocery store.

Why do you need to be so wordy about a bar code being scanned by the price scanner? And does the sound really echo? I'm sure it doesn't.

Shopping carts rattled and wove in the aisles.

Rattled I would accept, wove I won't. Shopping carts are not flexible like that.

Satu lazily picked up a tabloid from the racks and flipped through it.

I'm not a fan of adverbs, as they end up feeling more of a telling thing rather than showing. Show to uas as to how Satu lazily picked the tabloid up.

These cliché words are fairly common in what are known as “fairy tales.”

Are you sure that once upon a time is a cliche? Isn't it a standard way of how fairy tales begin? Don't mix up the idea between cliches and what is considered standard or acceptable.

Overall impressions:

This is OK, but there is little intrigue to it. Satu's character could had been developed more. We don't really get a deeper idea of who Satu is. Her relationship between her character and the idea of fairy tales could had been explored more. One way of achieving it is showing Satu's personality. Is Satu a cute kind of girl? Is she serious? Is she innocent? Show us that.
I also suggest that you consider what I'm going to say under consideration:

What are fairy tales commonly associated with? Prince Charming, Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood, Rapunzel etc. Are they not perfect characters that have little to no flaws to them? Prince Charming is pretty much a sterotype of what we consider to be the "perfect man." Cinderella is just a beautiful character that suddenly gets help from nowhere and finds love with little effort. Little Red Riding Hood is another pretty character that raids a person's house and manages to get away despite it being against the law to do so. Did she get prosecuted? No... She got away scot free! What the heck?
Rapunzel is just a damsel in distress. Think about it, what do fairy tales all have in common? Do they not potray the idea of a perfect world with no flaws?

Now compare that to the idea of a myth. How do they differ? What remains the same?

I suggest that you read the poem "Leaving Prince Charming" by Karlo Mila. It will help you a lot with your fantasy. If you can't find it, PM me and I'll send it to you, as we studied the poem in english class. You can also ask for the analysis that I had to do for her poems.

Andy.

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