Hey guys, this is the edited version, hopefully it meets your critisicm
The iron gates loom menacingly,
Staring down with their grave eyes,
At the new penguins.
They waddle through, uncertain and scared,
Of the giants on every side,
Grinning and pointing.
A witch greets them at the bottom of some massive steps,
Welcomes them with a beckon of a gnarled hand,
To a place of hell.
They waddle on, sticking together,
Down filthy corridors covered with demonic pictures,
Past all the giants.
They enter a torture chamber,
Sit down on stiff-backed torture chairs,
Awaiting execution.
A demonic figure, glass wearing, walks in,
Sits down in his comfortable throne, and calls out-
The names of the dammed.
They pile out of the torture room, thankfully unscathed,
Start waddling down the corridors, and past;
The grinning giants.
They huddle together, in a pack,
Clutching small pieces of white paper, their only guide;
To the routes of hell.
Into another interrogation room,
With another spectacles beast,
Snarling all the while.
A piercing ringing cuts through the air,
Startling the little penguins, who;
Make their quick escape.
Out into the cold, wet outdoors,
The warm sum,
Obscured by dark clouds.
The grinning giants are everywhere,
With hard balls of ammunition,
Coloured black and white.
Huddling together in groups,
As if they were waiting for eggs to hatch, protecting them;
From all predators.
The shrieking ringing pierces the air once more,
The penguins gratefully waddle out of the cold, back into;
The warm fires of hell.
The next ordeal- death by freezing-
Outside on the barren wasteland,
Marked with the white lines.
Yet another servant of Lucifer appears,
Ordering the penguins to waddle round in ellipses,
Whilst he snarls at them.
Torture chambers containing monsters,
Flash past the terrified little penguins, interrupted only;
By the piercing bell.
The penguins waddle into a large room,
Filled with those giants,
Who are all grinning.
They await their turn to be served,
Some rations, whilst all the while the stench;
Of deaths' in the air.
The little penguins survive,
Some more torture,
Yet some more daemons.
The piercing bell sounds again,
Amid the penguins quickly waddle through,
The menacing gates.
A weight's been lifted off their chests,
They are all happy now,
They have survived their first day of
Secondary school.
Is not expected at all. I like that.
