Zaskar

4 posts
Random avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 4
The Glorious dragon ruler of Khazar, Dakar, sat upon his throne in the Province of paradise, wondering where it all went wrong, wondering how him and his clan were now on the edge of defeat.
The opposing army, ‘Khazar’s Resistance’ were now at the gates of the palace that did hover above one of the many volcanos in Khazar. Dakar knowing this would be his final hour decided on his final plan. “Chargo” he said, talking to one of his highest commanders, “Your squad and your son shall go now fly over their army, and make peace with them, declare their land to be theirs but Paradise to be ours then when your armies are large enough you shall strike again, push them south into the desert of Khazar and I shall wait for you, in the city of Khazar’s centre, for I shall become it’s heart its ‘force’. Go my brother.” And so the dragon king and his highest officer formed a plan and as Chargo flew over the scorched, black land of paradise, to the south at Khazar and eruption occurred, every man women in child in the city was dead, but Dakar had become its heart.
But from the dusty cloud of smoke 2 magical balls of energy appeared 2 gods to judge the war, For Khazar – for the resistance, a blue spirit, Lithicus. And for the Mighty dragons a darker ball a darker god that could not declare him to be allied with the dragons, or it would harm their friendship to the resistance. His name, Sulphurous.

50 years later

A little east to the city of Khazar was the gate, the gate which leads onto the realm of the forgotten a dark land which many had often thought about wandering in to it, but those who tried would never come back. It was always guarded by 2 guardsmen of City of Khazar, to make sure no-one ever got in or out.
Except for this day. This day was the day a glorious new leader would burst from the 200ft gate however still 2 guards did guard the gate.
*
And with one gentle push the Huge gates opened outwards into the Realm of Khazar, Zaskar did not know he would become a hero in this realm his pale white skin was covered by a Golden suit of armour but around his head, back and arms was the carcass of a demon which resembled a skeleton with no legs, just a spine, hands, and a head.
He looked up to find 2 people jumping down from their posts into the pit where the gate was. ‘He’s here!!’ one of them shouted.
Thinking about his previous home he took this as an act of aggression and drew his miraculous Golden blade and just as he was about to strike both of them down, They bowed down and said “you have arrived my lord.”
They escorted him Through the City of Khazar up onto a cliff at the highest point of the city, that over looked the rest of the city from the south. Opening the 20ft wooden doors he saw the sun shining throw the marvellous window which was almost double the size of the doors; however through the light he could see a small throne facing through the window, with a man sitting their, the man stood and faced Zaskar. “Glorious one, you have managed to make it to our city”
“I came across, by accident where am I?”
“Guards Leave. You mean you had no intention of arriving here?”
“No I left my land Killed some demons and Titans that have escaped from the nether realm, and I did find myself upon what I can only assume to be the realm of Khazar.”
“Your assumptions are correct Zaskar let me tell you a little story about why we think you have come here, obviously you are not aware of our Prophecy. You see 20 years ago 5 nations, Khazar, The people of metro City the Elves of the northern woods, on the eastern side of the world, Isokali’s Ice people, Lord Riffic’s Desert people , and on the islands of Markay the Markayans. We had a ferocious battle with the dragon lords after killing 7 of them 2 remained Chargo, and Dakar. Chargo and his group including his son Rosco joined us just as they were about the be defeated at castle which they now keep as their now. But Dakar destroyed Khazar then killed himself, Chargo said he could not bare to be killed by us, so he throw himself into the volcano of where his castle flew above. Afterwards however people decided to disagree about Chargo and if he is really allied with us, such as Isokali and Lord riffic, although their arguments were petty they waged war on each other and now they have lost sight on what they were fighting for in the first place. The advanced people of metro city stay ready on their border ready for battle. And the elves wait deep in their forests to the north.
However the original 5 nations all serve on god Lithicus. However the dragons do not serve a god which I refuse to believe because they have been so lucky in the past years. But now Zaskar because people refuse help others Khazar has not changed much since its destruction 20 years ago its shoddy Broken, and we need a new leader. So Zaskar this is your throne.”
“So you want me to help you? How?”
“By bringing the 6 nations together so we can live in peace and make Khazar that golden city it once was.
The elves will be easily brought back into the old alliance, we should send a message to them first, and then we shall head onto Metro city.”
“And how would you propose we send a message so quickly over vast amounts of desert?”
“Our old friends, the druids Chytah and his clan Look over our land and warn us of danger, taking many forms to fit in.”
“So off we go, By the way what is your name?”
“Zaskar my name will no longer be in use” He said as he looked up towards the ceiling, Zaskar glimpsed up and by the time he brought his head back down, the man had disappeared. Zaskar looked around himself, not looking for the man, but looking for what to do next.
*
4 days later

With 3 nation joined, the dragons, Khazar and the elves (whom had made Zaskar feel most welcome in his new home) Zaskar planned to move East up to the border of Metro City. A Large city which was like no other in the whole of Khazar not of the Mesa-top Villages like Lord Riffic’s, or the sandstone houses in the City of Khazar, or the high Tree top Houses of the elves. Metro city had huge skyscrapers, planes a sewage system and a source of electricity, contained vast amounts of guns it was like no other place in all of the 3 realms. Captain Eldawy (lord of the elves) elegant in every way His Fighting style was so smooth and clean.
Zaskar and Eldawy with a few Soldiers (just in case) entered Metro in hooded cloaks they both decided Chargo shouldn’t come just in case the people turned against him and his Peoples.
In the middle of the city was a massive skyscraper and at the top was a blinking yellow dot. The 6 hooded figures made their way into the building, and walked up to the receptionist, Zaskar took one step forward and asked “Where is General Phil Solchar?”
The receptionist looked up at him with an astonished look “He is mourning the death of his wife, now I don’t no who you are now please leave!”
He took on step back and looked at Eldawy, “she gave birth to someone who is meant to be great importance to us however his father Phil, is not the one we truly need in this alliance we need Bruce he is much more occupied in the times of today, and not the times of past, Phil and his brother James have been working on time travel for a long time, and now his wife’s death is another reason to change the past”
“Eldawy” Zaskar took one deep breath “ they cannot be allowed to do this, in my time in the realm of the forgotten I saw a man, Well built, neck-length black hair, he was the lord of time, he weaves the lives of everybody, and any attempts to change the past, could destroy our future!”
“So, like I said, to Bruce?”
They left the reception they asked the 4 soldiers that followed them to disband and wait on the Border of Metro. Eldawy looked at Zaskar, and right then, right there Zaskar knew he would be a great leader. They burst into a sprint Eldawy lead the way, they were following signs, that they didn’t even know the meaning of, they tried shortcuts through dark alley ways, until they came to a dead end, they looked above. And a bright light shone in there face. Heavier then a flood light, it was attached to a Helicopter, and behind Zaskar he heard the sound of men Cocking there guns. “Don’t move!” One of them said.
One of them with an AK47 in his hands pointed it to Eldawy’s head. “I thought we agreed not to trespass on each others land.” He said.
“Well James. How’s the time travelling thingy going?”
“I am not at liberty to discuss that.”
“Why? You’re afraid you will have another riot on your hands?”
“One more word Eldawy and I will shoot you”
“I know a threat when I see one James; I fought in the war and…”
Zaskar had seen many things but not one many shoot another with so little mercy. For the short while he had known Eldawy, Zaskar knew he would have been fine with a painful death after all he’s been through, but instead he was given one bullet, to the head.
James walked over the Zaskar’s hooded face, and lifted the hood up with his gun. “And who might this be?”
“I am Zaskar, I am looking for Bruce”
“Well good luck finding him, he’s just been sent to a high security prison for speaking out against us. And you have already seen the consequences.”
Zaskar focused on the noise from the helicopter above.
James took out a pair of handcuffs and was just about to put them on Zaskar when all of a sudden the helicopter burst into a ball of flames. With the five soldiers behind him, and James distracted, he grabbed hold of James’ gun and using him as a body cover Shot at them with such ferocity. He threw James to the floor, and put his hood back up, he pointed the gun at James “Where is Bruce?” he asked.
“I am not at liberty to…” James started
“I don’t care if you are not at liberty to discuss it, tell me!”
“You don’t have long do you? Reinforcements will be heard soon, not every day the army sees a helicopter explode and they don’t respond.”
“Then be quick about it James where is he?” He shot him in the knee caps twice.
“ARRGH! He’s in, he’s in…” he took at pistol from his holster and shot him self in the mouth.
Zaskar had seen the faces of fear, and of regret, however the face of James was neither of them, it was like, he didn’t mean to shoot himself. But nevertheless Zaskar picked up Eldawy’s lifeless body and with it firmly kept in his arms he ran into the streets. Another fatal mistake.


36 hours later

“Why did you leave Zaskar? Why did you leave the only place you could fight and not get killed? You have brought doom upon us all” said an unknown figure from behind the bars of Zaskar’s prison cell.
“General Solchar?” Asked Zaskar.
“No Lieutenant Bruce McCord.”
“What?” Zaskar stood up and looked around. The excitement that he might be free form the cell to save Khazar rushed straight to his head. “Let me out together we can stop them from using their time machines.”
“Haha. Don’t get to ahead of yourself hero, they locked me up as well. Any traitors are killed; I only have a few days to go.”
“Dammit what happened to the elf?”
“Oh you meant Eldawy? Well you see that furnace just outside your cell? They put what ever was left of him in there.” Said Bruce.
The furnace was the only light in the room it was strange why they kept it on when they weren’t using it, maybe it was the warm up the prisoners before their final chilled breath. Zaskar sat and thought to himself, the bars must be fairly strong if they can resist the constant heat of the furnace either that or they were on the brink of melting.
“Bruce?” asked Zaskar. “You ever tried to escape?”
“You kidding? With that heat pelting at me I can hardly move.”
“What hea… Never mind” It was strange how in this world he could feel nothing not even the Furious heat from the furnace and yet Bruce described him being killable in this world.
In the Centre of Zaskar’s Armour was a golden ball it had a Scripture on it that said ‘In the darkest places let this light free you from you barriers.’
“Well then Bruce, let’s do you a favour and get that thing off.”
“You say that as though you can’t feel it.” Queried Bruce.
“I’ll explain later. But right now we got to make things as comfortable as possible for our escape” Said Zaskar very calmly as if it was just another day.
“Are you crazy?” Exclaimed Bruce.
“Define Crazy.”
“Trying to escape and impenetrable fortress, it’s hard enough to actually get in here never mind getting out” Said Bruce.
“Men, mere mortals. Your creations are weak against the forces of magic.”
“Oh so you’re a magician. Well then lets just teleport our selves out of here.” Said Bruce in a sarcastic manner.
“Bruce McCord. I always imagined someone who stood up to the forces of evil would be a sensible man and not to shun away ideas that could save his life. Now how can we get that furnace off?”
“The same way you get any fire out; take away what it is burning on.”
“And that’s going to be awhile isn’t it?” Said Zaskar, almost giving up hope.
And just then as if from no where, appeared a bird, an eagle the flickering flames caused large shadows of its body as it flew around the room it flew at a huge speed towards Zaskar’s cell, and as if by magic, it opened, and it did the same to Bruce’s. The bird transformed it self into an almost human figure. “Zaskar” Said the hooded figure now walking to wards the exit of the room “it’s not time to use it yet, but when the time does come, you will make the ultimate sacrifice”
“And who are you?” Asked Zaskar “A druid or a…”
“I am neither Zaskar, I am Meldive a keeper of time and although my powers relate to that of the druids, I am not one of them” The hooded figure again changed into its bird form and flew into the high skies.
Zaskar had just notice the very bright light Pelting itself through the door, but as he walked closer he looked over the deserts of metro, and of into the distant the Province of Khazar. The golden desert were Vast, beautiful and although the humans used them for prisons and army training the elves and citizens of Khazar used them to train their young of the importance of nature and how to survive in the most extreme heats, and even to the point where you couldn’t feel the heat.
“Bruce” Started Zaskar. Bruce walked over and saw Zaskar pointing over the miles of desert. “Over there is your new home, at least until we take care of Solchar. And if Phil is really so close to unlocking the secrets of time we better get their quick.
And so it starts the vast trek across the Desert.

**

“Eldawy confirmed dead.

In a struggle against the greedy humans in metro city Eldawy has fallen it is believed in an attempt to kill one of the highest commanding officers of what is now called ‘The Army of Time’. Eldawy and a new ‘hero’ named Zaskar entered the city trying to find Lieutenant Bruce McCord one of many humans who have disagreed with Solchar’s Decision to change time.
15 years ago Solchar was so disgusted in the timeline of our history he set upon trying to change it for the better; however this could altar the future, for worse.
The location of Zaskar is currently unknown and his attempts to find McCord are assumed to be a failure, however the high council of Western Khazar has not given up hope on him. Chargo is the only one on the council to own actual province, the Elvin woodland is now leaderless; Khazar has been lost for years in how to find a leader.
However now attempts to get the Markayans and Lord Riffic’s desert people, and Isokali’s snow people, are going under way to try and get them to aid them in the war against metro. They have set of from a port on the Khazar coast and sailed west to find the Markayan people first, then onto the southern desert people then north to the snow people, they have sailed west to avoid any possible contact with the army of metro city, but one question is on everybody’s mind, are Lord Riffic and Isokali, still at war?” Chargo quoted from a recent delivery of newspapers from the Elvin forest.
He was in a fleet of two ships one with the High council one containing Chargo, 2 high Politicians of Khazar, and one elf soon to be the new leader of the elves, Eldarvo, Eldawy’s son.
The other ship contained supplies, and diplomats to help with gathering soldiers to help with the war.
Chargo was a 9Ft tall green lizard. But just like the rest of his race, he had powers that would classify him as a dragon, nothing just like breathing fire, but teleportation, flight, and telekinesis. His scales started of light green at the top of his head and as they went down they turned a darker colour, and they down round his tail they turned a dark red.
At night the Elves and Khazarians, would go to rest at the front of the hull and pray to Lithicus, usually for good weather, and for a pleasurable trip and for the diplomacy to go well.
However at the back of the ship Chargo and his 2 dragon servants Would pray to a darker force, Sulphurous, just praying to hold off his relentless assault on Khazar for just a bit longer until they are ready and until other enemies are destroyed or maybe Chargo prayed to sulphurous to just not to hurt the people of Khazar maybe he had bonded with them so much he did not want harm to come to them. But then what would Dakar think? Chargo knew his mission and in the new world that would come when Dakar is resurrected he would be the prince of all the land.

**

The vast blankets of snow hid the enemy. The snow was relentless to stop gave Isokali’s castle a perfect camouflage. From 20 years only a few men had actually died in this war, both sides were cowards but when the came when they would charge on the enemies fortress, the defenders would win.
Isokali’s castle was rumoured to have secret tunnels to flank enemies and the snow would hide secret passage ways, and Lord Riffic had the advantage of height, his fortress were placed on 6 consecutive mesa tops at least 100ft tall, they were impossible to climb.

Chieftain Marco was a high soldier in Lord Riffic’s army, an expert in alchemy and supernatural powers. He and his forces were now on the marvellous mountain range of Marcelico, a vast range of mountain that separated lord Riffic’s land from Isokali’s. And their was only one safe, way through (without getting lost). Through the volcano in the middle of the mountains, Volcano Malicicuss, in the middle of the volcano was a small wooden rickety bridge that soldiers at each end would guard all the time, this was one of the reasons why neither armies were advancing.
So Chieftain Marco and his troops were trekking up the mountains and the scent of sulphur hinted that they were very close to the peak of the volcano. Today was the day they would trek across the bridge and re-make a new bridge to help get troops across to the land of ice.

Marco was a Minotaur. With 10 inch horns coming out of either side of his head. However Minotaurs do not live in any of the 3 realms. No Marco was something else, he was ‘born’ in the skies and he was created for a soul purpose, to fight for Lord Riffic, or at least that was what the desert people had decided.
“Finally” Marco said. “We have reached Malicicuss.” Nine men stood behind him as they walked over the bridge, they all had their bows readied or their magic at their fingertips, readying their selves for the fight. And as they creped across the bridge that lay itself across a 50ft canopy, they heard nothing. Not even the whispers echoing of the walls.
“Ok guys we gunna run to the other side” Marco whispered. “On the count of three. 1. 2. 3. GO!”
Marco’s decision was brave. Not only was it Brave, it was foolish. They had gotten to the other side only to find Dozens of Soldiers in the blankets of the snow.
“Marco…” one of the soldiers said very surprisingly “The lord of desert has the guts to send one its high commanders? Well in that case I won’t start a fight up high in these mountains.”
“You’re a fool captain” Said Marco “Our mission is not to kill you but to build a new bridge way in-between the volcano entry points.”
“Do you take us for a fool Marco?” Said the captain. “You will build that bridge to make it easier for you to kill us!”
“Alas, you have out smarted me” Marco took some red powder out of his bag he had tied around his waist and through it up into the air. And it made a firework, just like a one out of a flare gun. “Now while me and your men fight other soldiers will come to build a new bridge, you may think we cant do it in that time but we have the eagles on our side, they can withstand the heat with in the volcano, but enough babble, time to die Captain!”
Marco raised his walking stick. High up, in the air. And a fiery ball of flames flew down form the sky. The snow, remained untouched, but the dozens of soldiers, wasted. “Guard!” ordered Marco “this land shall be guarded by you, feel proud that you are part of a significant part of the desert’s future.
And the builders arrived and they began the terrifying construction of the new bridge.
The men under Marco’s command were Loyal and brave, and Marco himself he was a very outspoken character, said what he needed to say, but only to get his point across, to say anything more would be ignorant in his mind.

42 hours later

“My Lord” Grunted Marco to Lord riffic as he arrived with numerous other soldiers at the midway point of the volcano “The Bridge is built and since there has been no attacks since when we came , the ice people must of retreated to their fortress” Marco continued in his dark, low tone of voice.
“Then it has begun, the war against the ice people has begun, and their shall only be one victor, ME!” Said Lord Riffic “we shall camp out until all of our soldiers are hear then when we are ready, the penultimate step to victory shall happen."

Note: this is not yet finished
Blaine's not going to find me >=)




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 7241
Reviews 721
Can you PLEASE spread out your dialogue? It's really hard to read, and thus I just barely scanned it.

If you fix this, and PM me about it, I'll return and give you a proper review. :D

Thanks!
~Azila~




Random avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 4
well my dialogue is spaced 1 *space* apart so...
Blaine's not going to find me >=)




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 32885
Reviews 2058
What Azila means is to put a whole space between it.

Like

This.

You see how there are spaces between my lines? Visible ones. Put them between your paragraphs. ^^ This isn't because we're mean! It's because we love you. The more readable/visibly pleasing your work is, the more likely you will get critiques!

Here is something that might help you out. Before You Post! ^_~
“It's necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live.”
― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo



Not many will ever really understand you / That doesn't mean you aren't worth understanding
— Quillfeather