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Midnight Vampire's NaPoWriMo thread

MidnightVampire · 2008-04-04T03:02:28Z

Here's all my poems at one time (because I didn't make a thread at first). The third one is the only one I really like. The other two are not good. Feel free to rip those to shreds. Title: (no title) Date: April 1st I got a nightmare last night. Was it like last time? Did you die? No. Not this time. This time it was Mom who died. Who killed her? Ron. He kills a lot of people. I'm sorry. Are you ok? No. I'm not doing the best. At least the fealing like your being watched is gone, right? No. It's getting worse, actually. Sometimes I feel like he's just there, right behind me; waiting to kill me. Kinda right now. Title: Autumn Date:April 2nd A tree stands proudly in a valley, its leaves a golden brown. One falls down as if shouting to the world It's autum. Title: I fall, I fly, I soar Time: 8:49PM Date: April 3, 2008 Like that shooting star, Like that leaf from the tree, I fall. The blackness seems to be a blanket, Keeping me from flying off. I don’t mind falling, It’s almost as nice as flying. This way, I can relax, though. I continue to fall. Maybe it’s my imagination. No. Those are red eyes below me. I start to fall faster. The eyes seem to get closer, And teeth appear. They let out a high pitched shriek. I don’t like falling anymore, It’s like people say: “It’s all fun and games… Until you land.” I struggle to get away from the blackness, To get my wings free. So I can begin to fly. Voices whisper in my ear, Hands pull my hair, And red eyes glare at me. I struggle to get my wings free even harder, I don’t want to land. With hard work, a wing is free. My falling begins to slow. Soon, my other wing is free. And I fly. My wings are free, Glowing a pure white in the never-ending darkness. Tendrils of evil grab for my heals, eager to have their hostage back. But they cannot reach me, Because now; I soar. Like that bird in the sky, Like that kite flying higher and higher, I soar.

Rydia

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Wed Apr 16, 2008 8:30 pm

Rydia says... · Wed Apr 16, 2008 8:30 pm

No problem and don't worry about reviewing anything of mine, it's not necessary.

April 12: I like the idea behind this one but I think the imagery could have been stronger. That, or maybe you could add a rhyme and a rhythm, turn it into a sort of children's nursery rhyme? I think that would work really well.

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I’ll paraphrase Thoreau here... Rather than love, than money, than faith, than fame, than fairness, give me truth.
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Midnight Vampire's NaPoWriMo thread

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