*Ability Academy* [UPDATE: CHAPTER 2 UP!]

"Good morning to all. To my friends, classmates, schoolmates, teachers, faculty and staff, the janitors, luchladies, gradeschoolers, Freshmen," I paused, smile growing wider. "Sophies, Juniors, Seniors, and to the new students. Today marks the beginning of a new school year and a farewell to last summer," everybody groaned. "But don't worry, life here at Ability Island is wonderful, in one way or another. For the Highschool Freshmen," I grinned at a certain group of ki--I mean, students. "Congratulations to you! Highschool is a great getaway from all that advanced academics. College is practically the same, but much more challenging. Trust me, guys," obviously refferring to my batchmates. "That's what they all say. As for the Gradeschoolers, your time will come, darlings. Just you wait.

"I totally didn't want to put this, but our Principal asked me to, so I shall now give you the General Rules.

"One: If lines are to be made, like in the caf, please do fall in one. No pushing, cutting, bargaining, tricking, bribing, and such if you want to come in first.

"Two: As much as possibe, keep the island CLEAN. That means the trash should be segregated, the halls should be spotless, the dorms should be neat, and foodfights are TOTALLY UNALLOWED. Bummer.

"Three: Always wear school uniforms during school hours. Add-ons may be put, but ALL parts of the basic uniform must remain and be in sight.

"Four: No one is allowed to leave Ability Island. Unless you can fly, teleport, walk on water, or have any FAST form of transpo to the middle of the Pacific Ocean, you MUST sleep in the dorms. They won't really change appearance 'till a new person uses it, and it will be yours till you leave this island for good. And your specially costumized dorm transfers floors when necessary, so you won't have to worry about getting a new dorm room and redecorating.

"And the MOST importatious [Rina Speak~learn it, love it, speak it! ] rule, NEVER use your powers to harm others. The school's main purpose is to make heroes out of everyone, so punishments ranging from extra detention to EXPULSION will be given to wrongdoers.

"I am Rina Lovestrike, and once again, good morning and have a wonderful school year." The whole school clapped as I headed for the stairs, but our school Principal, Mrs. Irene Torreson, whispered something to me.

Everyone was confused when I returned on stage. You see, at this point, we're supposed to sing the School Anthem. I grabbed the mic to makean announcement.

"It appears that our Student Body President, Casey McDonald [A/N: Yes, I'm an avid LWD fan], can't sing due to sore throat, so..." At that, my batchmates started cheering, my barkada [the Filipino word for "group of best friends"] being the loudest. When the rest of the students realized why there was cheering, they joined in. My smile just kept growing wider and wider. Then, Vice Principal Norma Eagleson said, "Students, please rise as we sing the School Song."

The students got up and, with me on the lead, started singing.

♫"All hail Ability Academy
All hail the glad echoes ring
To you and our true devotion
The mighty heroes that we bring
Your name recalls our founders' triumph
In bringing peace into this world
Our motto lifts us with gladness
Above all earthly things
On this island you'll never be blue
Through your teachings keep us ever true
Fidelity to duty
Love of simplicity
May your spirit be engraven
On our hearts till we reach heaven
And may love for you ergo with that
Of our powers and island!"♫

The song ended and I left the stage. I walked over to my seat and sat down. I'm not really gonna listen to whatever our Principal's gonna tell us since it's the same speach every year. I was sitting in between Nick Rock, my ever wonderful boyfriend, and Cassy (not McDonald, okay? she hates it when people confuse her for the preppy keener President) Labrynth, my tomboy of a best friend. Beside her was Jazzy Waves, my nerdy BFF. She, of course, would be listening to the Principal's speach, so I won't bother her.

"That was great, Rina," Nick says, holding my hand. Did I mention how much I love Nick?

"Thanks, hun," I reply, leaning my head on his shoulder. He put his arm over my shoulder and leaned his head on mine. That's the most we can do at a time like this. Our princincipal doesn't really like--no, scratch that. She HATES PDA.

When the speach was done, we left our seats and walked over to the Auditorium doors. We walked past the Hall Of Fame and climbed up the stairs at the end of the hall. It lead up to a cave just beside the school building above the surface.

We walked on the sand until we reached the school's main doors. Some of the gradeschool kids went to check their lockers. Others turned to the left, like me and my barkada, towards the dorms. After walking past the dorms, we climed up the stairs to the second floor--High School. We skipped that and went ahead to the next level, Collage.

"I can't belive we're finally here," Jazzy said, sighing.

"Yeah! We're finally College kids!" Cas said, hi-5ing Ray, her partner-in-crime. They would've been great together, even Cassy admitted it. But they were better off pranking than dating. And besides, Ray's other best friend is Derek Venturi [A/N: Again with the LWDness! ], and they're pretty much the same person. Ray might end up breaking the tomboy's heart and they'll hate each other and the band (Elemental Chaos) will break up. We can't have that.

When we reached the door with a white board saying "Rina and Jazzy's," I told the others I'll see them later. Jazzy got in first and I followed. We both checked if nothing was stolen. I entered my fabulusoly large walk-in closet and sat on the seat in front of my superstar dresser. No cracks on the mirror, complete make up and accessories, all lightbulbs were working...Yep, it's good. I checked every peice of clothing and made sure that all my art materials were there. I left the closet and went over to my bed, checking the softness. It was soft and feathery (it was covered in pink feathers, as usual) and my self-made blankie wasn't torn. My pillows were still in their same fluffiness and I hugged each one. Yep, these are mine. I put them back on their places and stood up. I went to the chest on the foot of my bed. It was painted purple and the edges of the top side of the lid still had the pink feathers, just like my bed. "My Treasures" was still neatly etched onto it and was still in black. I lifted the lid and checked if all my memorabilia was there. Everything, from photo albums to stuff toys, was there. Good.

"Hey Jaz, I'm done checking my stuff. I'll just go over to Nick, okay?"

"Sure, Rina," Jazzy said while making sure the contents of our small, dolphin-shaped, indoor pool were just water and chlorine, or whatever it is that people put in pools.

I left the room and closed the door shut. I turned to my left and stopped on the first door. "NICK" was carved on it. Yep, that's him. I knocked and some dark-skinned guy with dread locks opened the door.

"Um, hi. I don't mean to be rude, but who are you? This is Nick's room," I said to the guy.

"Oh, I'm Paul Reader, Nick's new roomie," he said, offering a hand to shake. I shook it.

"Cool. I'm Rina. So where's Nick?"

"Oh, he's in his closet. He be over in a bit."

"Okay," I said, and stepped into the room. I went straight to his closet and hugged him from behind.

"Rina! You came!" He turned around in my arms and gave a peck on the lips.

"As promised," I said, grinning.

"So have you met--"

"Yep. He seems nice."

"Ditto."

"But you're much better."

Nick grinned and leaned it for a kiss. We sort of made out there, but we were stopped by an "Ahem." I turned my head to see Paul leaning on one of the closet doors.

"Oh, sorry, man. I'm just used to being alone in this room," I giggled at that.

"'S a'right, Nick. I was jus' gonna say that I was gonna leave to roam 'n' stuff," he said. Getto much?

"Sure."

"Oh, Nick, I gotta go, too. I'm going to Cassy's," I said, giving him another peck at the lips.

"Okay, baby."

I followed Paul out of the room. He walked out first, but he bumped into someone. I moved closer to see who it was. By the time I was close enough, Paul was already helping the bumped girl pick up her things.

"Hey, I'm sorry," Paul apologized.

"Oh it's alright. I'm Sydney, by the way," she said, offering a hand to shake. Paul shook it.

"I'm Paul. Here's your stuff," he said, handing over some books and pots. Luckily, the pots didn't break.

"Thanks."

They continued talking while walking, and I didn't really want to listen so I went straight over to Cassy's room.

This is gonna be a great year.

okay. First off, I liked it. (Well I like everything you write, or draw) lol. Chups, this is so nice. Any intentions in continuing?

Anyway. Down with the critique.

It's college. not collage. A collage is what we always make in CLE. Ring any bells?

That's all I saw.

It was good.

~They call me Casey here.

Hahahaha Glad you liked it! Yay for niceness! Woohoo! And yes, I will continue.

OH RIGHT. Thanks for the spell check! I guess I just miss Sir Ruel...

I'll just edit it...Thanks again!

~Sushi Man

Yikes, so many grammar mistakes lol
Well I'll help you fix them!

luchladies

This would be 2 words, lunch ladies

gradeschoolers

Would be grade-schoolers
fix all of those, there are a few

"Sophies, Juniors, Seniors, and to the new students.

This is a fragment, even with the corrections of Sophie's(apostrophe s) and juniors and seniors being uncapitalized. I would suggest using Sophomores instead of sophies, and i'm not really sure how to fix this fragment,sorry.

Highschool Freshmen,"

High school is 2 words.
Fix all of those, their is more then one
also Freshman is not capitalized

I grinned at a certain group of ki--I mean, students.

No comma after mean

obviously refferring to my batchmates

.
referring has one f not two
and i think batchmates is two words not sure.

"One: If lines are to be made, like in the caf,

Please spell out cafe or cafeteria if that's what you mean.

"Two: As much as possibe

possible has a l, lol

and foodfights are TOTALLY UNALLOWED. Bummer.

food fights
separated.

FAST form of transpo

lol i think you mean transport?

And your specially costumized

customized

"And the MOST importatious

I'm pretty sure importatious isn't a word?
i know importations is?

[Rina Speak~learn it, love it, speak it! ]

Not quite sure why this is here?
Confused me, a lot.

Well i have to go to bed, sorry i couldn't finish
their is a lot more grammar mistakes, maybe i can fix them tomorrow.

Other then a ton of grammar errors, i felt like i was reading something that had a lot to do with Sky High?
While i read it i just kept imaging it in my head?

Also some parts were just way confusing(wish i could point them all out but short of time!)

I'll let someone else finish this cit
It was "okay" other then that.
I didn't love it but i didn't think it was really bad or anything!

Maybe i wasn't harsh enough, or i was too harsh?
You'll get harsh critiques, count on it.
Just know their to help you improve and no one means to make you sad/mad.
Just take what we give you and apply it. Then you will become a better writer.

Bye!
-Derek

Sorry if I made a lot of mistakes! Thanks for pointing some of them out.

Those uncompleted words and those that seem really wrong are really how Rina says them (Rina Speak, remember?). Even I say them that way. And Rina likes adding -y, -tious, -ness, -tastic, -ing, -able, and many other suffixes to some words (important + -ious = importatious) and she also likes putting words together to make new ones. That's just how she is. She also makes up words.

I'm also very sorry for the confusion! For more information on Rina and Ability Island (that's what the whole island is called), check the usergroup Character Development and go to "Interview Each OTHER'S Characters!"

Other then a ton of grammar errors, i felt like i was reading something that had a lot to do with Sky High?
While i read it i just kept imaging it in my head?

I was waiting for someone to say that! This story was actually inspired by Sky High and I might end up mentioning that sometime.

No, you weren't harsh at all! Well, at least, I didn't find you harsh. I actually found you helpful. But I am expecting harsh comments to come.

Thanks for critiquing!

~Sushi Man

*BTW, LWD means Life With Derek. It's one of my favorite shows.

Ability Academy
Freshman Year, College
September 30, 2008
Ability Island’s Traditional 1st Month of School Party

Rina’s P.O.V.

I was running down a forest, probably one from our island, from nothing in particular. On and on I went, as fast as I could go. Suddenly, when I thought I wouldn’t make it anymore, I stop quickly as I reach a dead end. Weird, there aren’t any dead ends on this island.

“Damn,” I mutter as I bang my fist against the huge boulder in front of me. I turn around to see what I was running away from.

A huge dark figure. That’s what I saw. A scary, ginormous, dark figure with the most sinister, diabolical, and evil expression I’ve ever seen, apart from Hades’, of course.

I whimper as he looms over me, most probably about to strike at any given moment.

I really should try using my powers against him right now, but I feel as if I have none at all. What’s wrong with me?!

“Say your last words, Rina,” the dark figure menacingly said, followed by an evil laugh. Then I said the first think I could think of. Not to sound arrogant, but for someone as imaginative and creative as me, the next think I said—or in this case, shrieked—was ear-piercing, cowardly, and, for a lack of better word, stupid.

“AAAAA—

No one’s P.O.V.

“—AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!” Rina screamed as she sat up in bed, beads of sweat running down her face.

“What the hell?” she whispered, panting. “What time is it?” she asked herself as she looked behind her to see her alarm clock on her dresser. It was covered by a sticky-note with words written in Jazzy’s handwriting.

Rina,

As u can c, im in 2 much of a hrry to pt dis msg on a hologram n 2 evn bthr 2 ryt crrctly. Im rilly sry I wsnt abl 2 wake u up dis am cuz we hav a tst 1st priod n I had 2 go 2 d library 2 do som lst minit stdying. I knw I prmsd 2 wake u up, but I hope u undrstnd.

-Jazz

P.S. I hav a study d8 wid David dis pm. Cant hang out 2day, sorry. =(

“Yeah, that’s her all right,” Rina thought to herself as she tore the sticky-note off her alarm clock. It shows that the time is—

“—EIGHT-O-FIVE?! I’M FREAKIN’ LATE!” she screamed in panic. “Class started five minutes ago…and there’s a test! Oh no, oh no, oh no. Gotta go find something to wear.”

In too much of a rush to even think of using magic to dress up, she grabbed the jacket closest to her bed and took off her shorts so she can wear a pair of jeans. Without even noticing the huge stain on her jacket, Rina hurriedly wore her jacket over the tank top she wore to bed. Then she immediately grabbed her book bag and sped off to class, not even bothering to change her flip flops to sneakers.

“I am so lucky College students don’t need uniforms anymore,” she thought as she reached her class.

“Ms. Lovestrike,” Mr. Johnson, her Powers and Skills teacher, started, “I believe that I clearly told you and your classmates that being late for my class, especially during a test, is unacceptable. You know the procedure for latecomers, am I right, Ms. Lovestrike?”

“Yes, Mr. Johnson,” Rina replied. “I must get a late slip and arrive in time in order to be able to take the test.”

She, then, made her way for the library, which was two floors downstairs, muttering a series of profanities during her trip. When she reached the entrance, she gulped.

You see, even if the whole school building doesn’t appear to have any space left for the library, its doors open to a whole maze of bookshelves. Rina would be lucky if she reaches the staircase leading to the principal’s office within an hour. And she has an hour for every class, and fifteen minutes have already passed since first period started.

Once she entered the library, she was scared all of a sudden. The maze was huge and the whole school building resisted any usage of superpowers except when the fate of the world, or at least the whole school, depended on it. So she couldn’t just fly over the bookshelves. She couldn’t use a spell to get to the staircase. She had no choice but to find her own way.

After a journey that seemed to last an eternity from the entrance doors to the staircase, two long lectures from their principal, Mrs. Torreson (one for punctuality and another for falling asleep in the middle of the sermon), another seemingly eternal journey through the maze, Rina finally got out of the library, late slip in hand. Rina was running to the classroom to hopefully get a chance at passing the test when their stubby vice principal, Mrs. Eagleson (What’s with the –son’s from the faculty and staff’s sir names?), caught her running and gave her a detention slip for the end of all the day’s subjects.

After muttering another set of bad words on her way back to the classroom, Rina was about to go through the door and victoriously give Mr. Johnson the late slip when the bell suddenly rang.

“You know what that means, Ms. Lovestrike,” the teacher said to her as he walked out the door.

“If you don’t arrive at the classroom at least a second before the bell rings, you don’t get to take the test,” Rina sadly said.

After the unfortunate series of events (“And at such an early time of day!” Rina thought.), Rina’s spirit had gone down for the rest of the day. She went through her classes failing quizzes about topics she didn’t remember discussing in class, failing to submit homework she didn’t remember having to do, failing projects she worked so hard on, failing to get on the lunch line in time to be able to get warm food, and just failing in general. By the end of all her classes, she had enough failures to be kicked out of the Cheerleading Squad (which, of course, Rina worked hard to get into).

After getting kicked out of the squad, she headed for detention. Detention was, of course, both horrid and boring, and it added to the list seemingly eternal moments of the day (which, by the way, was a really long list, considering all the misfortune Rina received).

When detention was over, Rina was too sad to even talk to Cassy, Jazzy, Nick, or any of her other friends about her awful day. On her way to the dorm room she shared with Jazzy, she bumped into Nick. Rina, hoping Nick would brighten up her day, certainly didn’t expect what Nick was going to tell her.

“Rina, we need to talk.”

“Uhm, sure, Nick. What’s up?”

“What’s up? You’re up…or down, depending on the way you put it. Anyway, I wanna talk about our relationship. For the past year, I don’t think I still feel it, you know? Its been too short to determine if what I felt for you was real love or not, but I know I’ll find out sooner or later. Rina, what I really want to say is, we should—“

“—Break up, is that what you want?” And before Nick could reply, she immediately continued. “What, did you realize that the love I feel for you was just some crazy fan girl addiction bottled up since Grade 5? Do you think that I only want you as an accessory, or as someone I can make out with? Did you only get together with me because you felt sorry for me after what happened during the Cupid incident? Well, if your thinking either of my choices, then fine, break up with me. ‘Cause if you’re breaking up with me, then…I’M BREAKING UP WITH YOU!” Rina immediately regretted ever saying that last bit. She desperately wanted to take what she said back, but tears started blocking her vision and she felt like there was a lump in her throat.

Instead of crying in front of Nick and letting him hug her like she always does, Rina ran to her dorm room and banged the door close. Outside, Nick just sighed, tears forming in his eyes as well, and turned to leave.

Rina’s P.O.V.

Oh my God, what have I done?! I’m not even sure if Nick wanted to break up with me or not! Damn. I’m such an idiot. A crazy, confused, idiot. I just broke the heart of the guy I’ve been in love with for EIGHT YEARS! I seriously think I have brain damage or something. I mean, come on! He’s been my dream guy for a huge chunk of my life, and I worked so hard to get him to love me back, and now I ruined everything.

I remember back during the fifth grade, when he newly transferred to Ability Island. He came from this orphanage with really cruel people “taking care” of the orphans. I immediately had this huge crush on him. I did everything to get his attention. Sure, he noticed me, but he only thought I wanted him to be my friend. Worse, he started like-liking Cassy! Yes, she’s my best friend, but why her?! Cass, of all people! But, as the daughter of Cupid, I knew that if I really liked him, I’d let him go. So, as the good person I am, I told him everything I knew about Cassy, and even helped him catch her eye. Of course, being the tomboy she was, she got mad at me for trying to get Nick and her together. I told her everything, and I think she understood. But she was definitely grossed out.

Three years later, during our High School Freshman year, one of Cassy’s old soccer friends (Daniel, who could control electricity and lightning and was really, really hot and was also very cool) came to our school with his twin brother (David, who wore glasses and is a technopath. He’s also extremely smart.) to continue their studies with us. By then, Nick and I were best friends already. Daniel joined the soccer varsity team with Cass, and they regularly hung out. Rumors said that Daniel liked Cass. Hearing this, Nick suddenly felt hopeless and gave up on Cass, much to our relief. But he still had a crush on her, though. During my 14th birthday, my dad, Cupid, told me that he thought I was old enough to start dating. Since then, I’ve been dating several guys just to make Nick jealous. Immature, I know. And my plan never worked anyway, but I never gave up on him.

Third year high school, the year of the Cupid incident, I broke the AA record for most guys dated in two years, became the head of the Cheerleading Squad, and became the most popular high school girl in our school. I was even a straight-A student. I had everything I wanted except one thing—or rather, guy—and that was Nick. After finding out that Daniel asked Cass out for Prom Night before he could even get a chance, Nick lost hope again. So I took the opportunity and asked him out for the prom. That night, Nick suddenly started liking me. I ended up finding out why, of course. The gods have somehow heard about Nick’s crush on Cassy, and, for some unknown reason, didn’t care about my even greater feelings toward Nick. So dad came over to the prom, and aimed the arrow at Cass when she was talking to Nick. Unfortunately for dad, she had reflexes faster than the arrow itself. So she was able to catch it. After Cassy excused herself, Nick turned to talk to me. Cassy then stabbed Nick with the arrow, much to dad’s horror. Nick fell in love with me—magically, of course—and we started dating immediately the day after.

By summer before senior year, the spell somehow wore off, and he called it quits—even if he didn’t know what he was calling quits for. I was broken hearted, of course, and that was when Cassy decided to tell me everything. I forgave her; understanding that she never knew the spell would end. Nick soon found out what happened, and apologized for breaking my poor sixteen-year-old heart and asked if we could be friends again. I accepted, but we weren’t as close as we used to be. By the time school started, I tried to get over him, but nothing worked. I was depressed up until two weeks before my birthday, when he decided to ask me out on a date. We had a few more dates, but we weren’t officially boyfriend and girlfriend yet. Finally, my birthday came, and after I blew the candles of my birthday cake, Nick suddenly asked me to be his girlfriend! I immediately said yes and kissed him smack on the lips. We’ve been together ever since…

…Oh dear God, what’s the date today?! I run over to the digital calendar on Jazzy’s bedside drawer and find out that today is—

“—OUR ANNIVERSARY!” Oh no, I just broke up with him the day of our anniversary! I hope he didn’t take it seriously, ‘cause first year anniversaries don’t happen very often. The recent month since school started has kept me so busy, I forgot all about it. Speaking of the first month since school started…

“The party…OMG! TONIGHT’S THE TRADITIONAL FIRST MONTH OF SCHOOL PARTY!” I go straight into my closet and chose the best outfit I could come up with within five minutes time. I wore my favorite black hoodie with huge purple sequins on the edges of the hood, sleeves, and middle pockets over a light pink spaghetti strap top, my super short shorts with the beads and the sequins, and my sneakers with the silver sequins all over. Ooh, sequiny!

No one’s P.O.V.

“I hope I’m not too late for the party,” Rina thought as she left her room and ran two floors down and went through the exit doors. “But then again, I could be so late, I missed the whole party,” she said aloud as she went through the school entrance and saw no one at the beach. “Or I could’ve gotten the wrong pl—“

“SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RINA!!!” The whole beach was suddenly filled with students. Where they hid and how they appeared so fast, Rina would never know. What was important was the fact that she forgot her own birthday.

Rina gasped. Sure, she’d forgotten many things today, but her own birthday?! Rina grinned as students, and even a few teachers, started crowding her, giving her gifts of all shapes and size. She put each one on a nearby table. After Rina received a gift from a Zion-esque girl she remembered from the Cheerleading Squad, Rina felt a very familiar hand hold on to her wrist and whisk her away from the crowd.

“Nick, I—“

“Shh…” Nick hushed, placing his index finger against Rina’s lips to keep her quiet. “Rina, I know that what I told you a while ago sort of implied breaking up with you—“ Nick started, but Rina interrupted.

“But you—and the—you said—“ Rina stuttered, but was cut off by a kiss from Nick. “What?” Rina whispered, confused at Nick’s sudden action.

“I didn’t want to break up with you, Rina, and I don’t want to right now.”

“But…” Rina started, but suddenly started thinking. “OH MY GOSH.” She continued, realization hitting her.

“Yes, Rina. Happy Anniversary.” He kissed her again. This time, it wasn’t as short as the previous one. It was deeper, and much more meaningful. Just when Rina was about to make it deeper, Nick stopped.

“Follow me,” he said, and led her into the forest. We passed several caves, then stopped at one shaped like a heart. Even the entrance was shaped like a heart. The holed used for windows, too. All hearts.

“Did you earthbend this for me?” Rina asked Nick. The feeling she had was just too much for words.

“Yes. For you, and only you,” Nick said, and took her hand in his and led her into the cave. More hearts. Heart-shaped chairs, a heart shaped table…Everything inside was heart-shaped. There were even carved hearts on the cave walls.

“Is this…for us?”

“Yeah. If we want to get away from everything, we can just come here.”

“…Wow…This is…Wow.”

“Uhm, thanks?” Nick laughed, and Rina giggled.

“No,” Rina said, and then kissed him. “Thank you.”

They just stood there, hugging, then Rina broke the comfortable silence they were in.

“If you didn’t want to break up with me, what did you say you wanted us to do?”

“You’ll see. Come with me.” Nick led her out of the cave and back to the beach. Everybody was still partying. The moment the couple entered, everyone became silent. Jazzy decided to speak.

“Since this is not only the traditional First Month of School Party, we will now start with the other reason we’re celebrating: Rina’s 18th birthday.” She then pressed a button on a remote control she was holding, and everybody and everything was made to look fit for a debut. They went through all the things a girl goes through on her 18th birthday, and when they were done, Jazzy pressed the button again and everything went back to normal.

“Rina!” Jazzy and Cassy said in unison, both running towards her. They each gave her a hug.

“Happy birthday!” Jazzy said.

“Thanks,” Rina said.

“Rina, we don’t have enough time left.”

“Why?”

“Because. You’ll find out later. Right now, we have to tell you why all those bad things happened to you today,” Cassy said before Jazzy could continue.

“Then tell me!”

“Right. Well, it was all a set-up. Wait, wait, wait,” she said before Rina could scream in horror. “It was all so that you won’t be all excited for your birthday then the party would be a complete surprise. We’re all sorry you were hurt, we really are, but it was our form of making you extra-happy during the party.”

“Oh. Oh! OH! OOOOOH!!!” Then they all laughed.

“Well, waiting time is up, so come on! We have people to perform for,” Nick said, then grabbed Rina’s hand and led her up the stage. Rina got the mic.

“GOODEVENING EVERYBODY!” Everyone started screaming. “Thanks for, um, coming here tonight, during my birthday, and pulling one of the biggest pranks ever to be pulled on me!” Everyone laughed and screamed. “Well, we’re really happy to be here, on stage, and to show our excitement, we’d like to play a really fast song for you, how ‘bout that?” Everybody screamed even louder.

“One, two, ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!” Nick screamed from the back, and then Cassy, Ray, and Daniel started playing the intro. Rina started singing song after song, Cassy and Daniel each had their own guitar solos, everyone was jumping to the beat Nick gave, and nodded their heads to the baseline by Ray.

“Thanks, guys! And once again, we’re Elemental Chaos, and goodnight!” Rina said after their last song, panting a bit.

diAway from the stage, Rina brought Nick back to the Cave.

"Nick, if you have a gift for me, then I have a gift for you," Rina said, then snapped her fingers and pointed to the stars. Suddenly, certain stars twinkled brighter than all the other stars, even the North Star, in such a way that it formed the sentence "I love you, Nick." with "Rina xoxo" right below it.

"Rina, you didn't have to," Nick whispered, arms wrapping around Rina's waist.

"But I wanted to." She hugged him tighter.

"Remember how I told you I'd still want to know whether this is true love or not?" Nick murmured into her ear.

"Yeah. You don't have to feel the same way, but remember that I love you, Nick, even if you don't."

"Thanks, Rina. I love you, too." Then he kissed her. The kiss was better than all their other kisses. It was their I'm-loving-you-for-the-very-first-time kiss.

But Rina broke the kiss.

"Nick, dear, I really hate to stop this, but don't we have a party to go to?"

Nick grinned at her.

"Last one to the beach does the other's homework for a week."

"You're on!"

"One, two, three--WOAH! RINA, WAIT UP!"

Rina was already running, so Nick started running as well. At first, they were just running around the forest, Nick chasing Rina, but then Nick soon caught her by the waist and they were just laughing and trying to keep their balance as they ran. Eventually they were just walking to the beach hand in hand.

By the time they reached the beach, there were less people due to the fact that it was starting to get late (the ones that left were mostly high school students). But there were still lots left, and Cassy, Jazzy, David, Ray, and everyone else were still there, so the couple decided to stay as well. They partied for the rest of the night, or at least until they ran out of bands (Elemental Chaos was able to perform thrice that night) and all the songs were over-used (and the DJ passed out from drunkenness). After that, everybody went straight to their dorm rooms.

Rina lay silently on her feathery pink bed, under the sheets, with the lamp on, scribbling on her diary.

“…And that’s how I celebrated my 18th birthday. Night, Love Puppy.” Rina wrote, then tucked her diary under her pillow, turned of her lamp, and then fell asleep.

I really like this story so far. I'm not usually a fan of a lot of romance/drama, but that's just a matter of taste. I loved the school song-very funny! I liked how you switched to Nick's point of view. I wouldn't add any other perspectives, because it gets confusing and muddled when a book keeps switching. I'd keep it to one or two main characters.

I didn't have enough time to read the second chapter but here's what I thought of the first:

It was pretty good, I don't remember seeing any spelling errors. But I did notice a section where you switched from third to first person:

"That was great, Rina," Nick says, holding my hand. Did I mention how much I love Nick?


"Thanks, hun," I reply, leaning my head on his shoulder. He put his arm over my shoulder and leaned his head on mine. That's the most we can do at a time like this.

You may want to fix that, it stands out like a sore thumb.

Also, you may want to change the term 'some black guy' to 'dark skinned guy'. 1: if the wrong person reads this chapter they may get offended. 2: As a writer it's your job to write creatively, and saying 'some black guy' isn't very creative.