Sunshine Boy

[pre]Where have you gone,
Sunshine boy?
The clouds have gathered
Around your once glowing face
And you set, you sink, you darken.
The shadows extinguish your light
And I see you no more.
Where are you now,
Sunshine boy?[/pre]

I like it. It has good flavor and flows well. May we see more poems from you in the future.

Wow! I loved that!

The imagery was great, and I remain unsure what it symbolizes (which I am sure it does) but it is great, because it makes me think about it more.

Nice and short, got to the point, no faffy waste of spaces.

'And I see you no more'

I would put a period at the end of this. Flows better .

So, ye! Great!

Keep writing!

~Mark~

Noted and applied. Thanks

Pretty good.

I loved this. Short and sweet. One tiny critique: The first "And" doesn't need to be there. I would put a period on the line before it and make that line "You set, you sink, you darken." one sentence.

Great job and keep writing!

WOW, that was really good!!
very short and effective.=]
i agree with niteowl-ont the fifth line the And doesn't need to be there.

=) x

As niteowl said, short and sweet:) It's very effective, no useless fluff in there. I wonder if there's room to make it longer, though? Just a thought. Nothing wrong with it like it is:)

Good job, and keep writing! More poetry, dare I hope?

*adna*

Lovely. You express yourself perfectly, and I can't fault it. The flow is good. It might be interesting, as Adna said, to try extending it.

Jas

lovely read. really lovely.

This is a good read. I pictured the sun while reading this.
Good job!