Young Writers Society


Monster

33 posts1, 2, 3
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1040
Reviews 493
I liked this darling. It was very easy to read. It had a pleasant flow, and it was sad. Yet one is forced to wonder what the man behind the muscle is thinking---what motivates him? Does he enjoy what he does, or is he out of control, evey to himself?

it might be more interesting, more original, told from the man's point of view.

Or maybe you could blow off the whole "monster" steam, and write something about a girl who WANTS to be abused for one reason or another. That could be interesting...

idk, I'm just yammering the usual nonsense. But all in all, it was a nice read, very poetic. I think you've got talent. I think you should keep writing.




Random avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 4
some very powerful stuff
"Let you alone! That's all very well, but how can I leave myself alone? We need not to be let alone. We need to be really bothered once in a while. How long is it since you were really bothered? About something important, about something real?"




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1355
Reviews 197
I know you already have loads of reviews on this, and this is really a testament to how good this piece is. I love the spacing, and the non sequiturs that you use occasionally really tie in with the emotiveness of the piece!

I just had to comment and let you know I really think this piece is really something special! So well done...have you thought of expanding it further?
Olivia
xxx
If you wake up in the morning and all you can think of is writing, then you're a writer...



Why is my dog your fig father????
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