Prologue Teaser of N.N

I wrote this for the fun of it, if it's any good I'll follow up on it if not, no worries.

Oh I’ll tell you a tale; oh I’ll tell you a tale. I’ll tell you a tale that will rock your world, change it, stain it. Oh this is tale that will smear you with scarlet red, drown you in sorrow and misery. I’ll tale you a tale that will leave you cowering under your blanket. Oh suffer you will. I’ll tell you a tale. One that you won’t forget. One that you can’t forget. Oh I’ll tell you a tale…

The scream cut the night air like a knife through butter. The world was stained, the light sank, the darkness rose.

The rules have turned, today is our day. We rule the night.

I like the sound of it, it's very mysterious. The only thing is that you repeat yourself a lot, and even though it's most likely meant to sound very lyrical, it would do much better if you also added in other concepts. You know what I mean?

I’ll tale you a tale that will leave you cowering under your blanket.

**I think you meant "I'll tell you a tale..."

That is all.

Keep it up!
~Rieda

Moderator's Note:

I removed the caps from your title and other places. Especially in thread titles, Do Not use all caps. If it is for artistic reasons, we understand and leave it alone, but that was obviously just an annoyance attention getting sort of thing. Please Don't.

Interesting and mysterious. I think you have a start to something here. The only thing, it was kind of repeatitive. I know it's supposed to be like that but add a little more detail here and there. It'll make it more readable, if that makes sense.

Overall, I think you have something here. Keep Writing!