The Lesson

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"I'm tired of the world that I'm living in.
I need to start a new life and begin again.
I don't want to be with you anymore."
With those words, her man walks right out the door.
She follows him out into the cloudy world,
And in the front yard, he says he doesn't need the girl.
She thought he'd once promised to always love her,
But now he tells her that he loves another.

Chorus: Beat down, in the rain, and she ran from him,
Slam down, on the street, 'cause she'll never win.
Tears down, on her face, what a mess she's in.
Hands up, she hopes he'll learn his lesson.

He yells in surprise and runs after her,
Hoping they'll be okay, but they never were.
His heart wants to take all of his words back,
But his head wouldn't let his mouth do that.
He finally finds her standing in the street,
Both heads and both hearts feeling incomplete.
He knows what he did what a big mistake
She hopes it's a dream from which she cannot wake.

Chorus

He should have listened to his heart,
Should have listened from the start.
Well, we all have things to learn,
And sadly this was his.

Still in the street, she falls, to her dirty knees.
His heart wants to call her in, but his head disagrees.
Too bad, to his heart, he never listened,
Too bad she didn't see the car coming.

Chorus

Beat down, in the rain, and she ran from him.
Slam down, on the street, 'cause she'll never win.
Tears down on her face, what a mess she's in.
Dear Lord, I hope he learned his lesson.

[Okay, so she shouldn't have been in the street to begin with... but still. Any suggestions? Comments?]
Last edited by spikerzz on Fri Apr 11, 2008 7:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Now the way I see it, if you want a rainbow, you've got to put up with the rain." --Dolly Parton

"Being me is full-time job, and I've never missed a day." --Stephen Colbert




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I loved this but as I read it I kinda got my own little beat and I think you should take out dirty where it says she falls to her dirty knees. Also where it says car coming I think it should be car com-ing. this just a suggestion read it aloud maybe and see what you think. I liked this though. Good Job!!!
True love, in all it’s celestial charm, and
star-crossed ways, only exist in a writer’s
mind, for humans have not yet learned
how to manifest it.




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Hmm... I'll read it out loud and see if 'dirty' works. :D Thank you for your suggestions!
"Now the way I see it, if you want a rainbow, you've got to put up with the rain." --Dolly Parton

"Being me is full-time job, and I've never missed a day." --Stephen Colbert




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HEY SPIKER!!! :P
Nice, this is AWESOME! :) Besides spelling "knees" "kness", which I know was just a typo, there's nothiing else that I see needs changing.

Are you gonna sing it?? LOL

-Nat
Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.
~Matthew 28:20

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Question--does it have anything to do with what I think it does?

Comments--I loved it!!! It had a nice flow to it. And no, I'm not just saying that because we're best friends.

Other than that, which Natalie pointed out, you misspelled "knees" but that was a simple typo.



seagulls are bad sea chickens with no sense of humanity
— Kay (novembercrow)