In Tarnished wings

N.B This, although it rhymes in places, is pretty free verse. I wrote this a few nights ago, but I'll try to let it explain itself.

In tarnished wings I fly between
The realms of right and wrong,
Of the world of love and power,
My faith so weak, it’s almost gone.

I try to reach out to God,
But he greets me with a Judas kiss,
And pushes me further back,
Into a echoless abyss.

And I wonder if I’m longed,
To hear the joyful ones,
Singing songs of praise
In triumphant voices
With horns and lyres.

Or perhaps,
Although a angel myself,
I was made,
To feel the hot, empty burn
Of you know where’s fires.

Suppose this cross for me to bear,
Holds someone else’s name,
And I’m left in tarnished wings,
With no one to look up to,
Yet with only myself to blame.

Try and work on your grammar- it's off in a few places. Maybe try for some more figurative language, too. Also, you need to work on your punctuation. Your flow seems a bit off. Maybe it's just your line breaks, but when read aloud, it's choppy sounding.

I try to reach out to God,
But he greets me with a Judas kiss

Favorite line of the whole poem. <3

And I wonder if I'm longed,
To hear the joyful ones,

I think that should be "I've longed."

Or perhaps, although I'm a angel
I've been made
To burn in you know where's fires.

"An angel," and maybe you should come right out and say, "Hell's fires?" Either way it's fine.

That was lovely. Really... symbolic. The kind of thing I love.

But I think that "You know where's fire" kind of screws up the rhythem. You don't have to be afraid to say "Hell"

I love the idea you have in this poem..

but in this phrase here:

And pushes me further back,
Into a echoless abyss.

Into an echoless abyss.

I agree that the line with "you know where" sounds better if replaced with Hell's fires...