Opposite of Life (revised)

Opposite of life
Time is finished but hasn’t begun,
Shattered into pieces but still together in one.

If I speak shall it be heard?
If I’m wrong will it be referred?
I can smile while I cry,
and tell the truth in a lie.

I’m the fraud in everything real,
from the air I breathe to the skin you feel.
I gain comfort from my pain.
In our differences we become the same.

I’m the child that wasn’t born.
I’m that necklace which was never worn.
That number on your phone which was never dialed.
That sheet of paper never filed.

This dream, I dream it while awake.
In it my tears are real but my smile is fake.
Where yesterday is tomorrow and tomorrow is today.
When everything is changing but I remain this way.

My thoughts are clouded but the sky is clear.
I know I’m not far but I know I’m not here I finish this with the start
my life, my passion, my art.

madam-butterfly wrote:I know I’m not far but I know I’m not here I finish this with the start

that's supposed to be two seperate lines!

If you want to make alterartions, just click the edit button, and you'll be able to lay the lines out the way you want to.

Your theme is interesting. I'd try writing this without the rhyme as it seems to be restricting you.

I especially like;
"I’m the child that wasn’t born.
I’m that necklace which was never worn.
That number on your phone which was never dialed.
That sheet of paper never filed."

This may be a little too self-contained. There's no sense of the world or any indiviuals outside of the speaker's mind. Maybe look at the circumstances whcih provoked these feelings and write about them rather than the feelings themselves, or attempt some sort of marriage of the two. Remember the five senses and try to engage some of them.

Hope this helps.

Jas