the ron who needed a john

Sorry. This was deleted.

The rhythm seemed a little awkward to me, but I thought it was really funny. Give it a little work and it'll be hilarious.

I thought this was a rather crude poem. It does however fall under the narrative poetry category, and with some meter fixing, it could be a decent, if crude poem

mikedb1492 wrote:There once was a man name Ron,
who needed to use the john,

here I would suggest adding an adjective in the second line, like really after the word 'who', so that it would read smoother.

mikedb1492 wrote:he saw a near by lake,
and found the closest path to take,

Again with meter, I think the first line should be longer, to match the second better. I would also suggest changing the word 'closest' to the word 'quickest' because it shows his need to be fast in his getting to defecate.

mikedb1492 wrote:he stood up satisfied,
his bum cleaned by the tide,

I think here the second line could use some fixing. I would suggest changing the second line to something closer to "his rear was clean from the tide".

mikedb1492 wrote:he turned and saw the crock,
so he pulled out a shotgun to cock,

The second line here would be better if read "Then pulled a shotgun to cock".

If I did not mention anything in the above I saw no real issue with it.

this was very very bad
i'm sorry but thats my opinion
its really rather grose

Some of the rhythm was a bit off in some places but other then that the poem is ok.

I really can't say I cared for this poem. It was rather crude and didn't have much point to it. Your rhyming was all right and Stephixy already pointed out ways to fix the meter, but overall, I just didn't care for it.

How did he have the shotgun? And do alligators even live in lakes?

Yeah, it just didn't do it for me.

~GryphonFledgling