Footsteps of a broken stranger

Every rain drop that falls from this broken sky,
and if the pain comes our life is just a lie.
We can just sit here and pretend
like our love has no end.

And we can fly exactly like a dove.....
Do you wanna come with me?
Do you wanna follow the leader?
Do you wanna follow in my footsteps?

I'm so proud of you.
And if you wanna learn to love me
we can run fast and free.....

Do you wanna come with me?
Do you wanna follow the leader?
Do you wanna follow in my footsteps?

Do you wanna come with me?
Do you wanna follow the leader?
Do you wanna follow my footsteps?

And our time is gone.
We know exactly what went wrong....
and we learned to love
learn to love
learn to love........

Do you wanna come with me?
Do you want to follow the leader?
Do you wanna follow in my footsteps?

Do you wanna follow in my footsteps

Wow! I absolutely loved this. It was a tad bit repetitive, but I love what you were saying. Very beautiful.

"Every rain drop that falls from this broken sky,
and if the pain comes our life is just a lie.
We can just sit here and pretend
like our love has no end."

Very good introduction. I loved your hook. It really pulled me in

''if you wanna learn to love me
we can run fast and free''

This was my favorite line. Great job

Well, I'm not certain if you're singing to a lover or a child, which isn't good. I'm thinking lover at first because you mention "our love", but then you mention "follow the leader" and "follow in my footsteps", which makes me think of a child.

I liked the first stanza but I think it kind of derails from there. Try using words that are more specific to your situation. Why would this person be following you? How did you end up learning to love? I like the chorus, but it needs some expansion in the verses.

Overall, not bad, but it could use some work. Kepp writing!

This didn't really make much sense to me. What point were you trying to make? WHy was the speaker proud? And what does this have to do with the otehr stanzas:

Do you wanna come with me?
Do you wanna follow the leader?
Do you wanna follow my footsteps?

Hey Max!

I was browsing the forums when I saw this, so I decided to read it!

I thought it was good, even if it was a tad bit repetative. I thought the lyrics were excellent, though. I'm not a sucker for repetative songs, but this one was good.

Keep on writing,
~the [s]great[/s] Psychic Ninja, Timea

Hey, i really like your writing, keep it up.

The lyrics were very good, and it just really stands out(good thing!)
Any and all problems have been mentioned by everyone else, work on those and it
will be great.

Deep...

i loved this, max! although, i can't find "of a stranger" anywhere and i assumed that the title is part of the lyrics. this was very good! Worth a star!

I really like the message behind this, and though I love the way it flows, it seems too repetitive. I think you need more verses. what's going on?! All you do is repeat the chorus. though I really like it, others may not. good job though!

Jamie

Wow! This was...amazing! I was trying to sing along with it..and I don't do that often for I hate my voice, but my mind was just begging me to sing along...so I tried to! It is awesome October! Kudos and a gold star!!

~Lulu