The Wolf That Cried "Boy!"

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You've all heard of the story, The Boy that Cried "Wolf! Well you've got to switch your gears and get ready to hear another story from another point of view.
"Long long ago, about two weeks ago, a wolf names Brad Cruise had been seriously hurt from the village with torches and chasing him all around the world. He has been known by making lies, and the villagers wanted to finish him off," read Brad Cruises' mother out loud from the NEW YORK TIMES.
Brad Cruise, his mother, father and two baby sisters, Angelina and Jolie, were sitting along the kitchen table. Brad was wearing a cast over his arm and legs. He had a patch over his left eye and at least a dozen band aids covering his body completely.
His tail was cut in two, and his lip was cut. He felt awfully sorry for what he did. Even though he got the hiccups of laughing every now and then, he felt bad. Only because of the cuts and bruises though obviously!
The village knew he was a bad little wolf of the age of twelve. He lied, bragged about himself all the time and teased other wolves at school. Everyone hated him and now, that he was on THE NEW YORK TIMES, he'll be even more hated. Before we end the story here, why don't we say the story? Here goes!
On Monday 4th, BC 1,000,000,000,000 Brad Cruise told his story to his little great-great-great-great-great-great grandchildren. Bob and Bobina sat on his lap waiting for the great story of his childhood. He smiled and started his story. From the very beginning.
Last edited by winie603 on Thu Jul 02, 2009 9:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.




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oooh. spell check. SPELL CHECK, please. sorry, i realize you're younger than most on here and so you obviously haven't graduated to the grade where teachers fail you for bad spelling, but please, try to fix some of the mispelled words.

beginning
seriously
band-aids
hiccups

This has the potential to be really funny (Angelina and Jolie, haha), just make sure you fix your grammar and spelling and post a little bit more of the story at a time. Also, you don't need to say anything like, "Before we end the story here, why don't we say the story? Here goes!" It makes you sound kind of like a radio announcer, and you are not a radio announcer, you're a storyteller. :D
“We’re still here,” he says, his voice cold, his hands shaking. “We know how to be invisible, how to play dead. But at the end of the day, we are still here.” ~Dax

Teacher: "What do we do with adjectives in Spanish?"
S: "We eat them!"




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I hope I wasn't meant to take that seriously, because I didn't.

In case it wasn't clear enough already SPELL CHECK

If you were really taking this seriously, you need to read your sentences and make sure they are readable. I didn't understand the time frame of the plot, did it move from past to present? or what? It didn't make sense. As for the story itself... wow... not original in the slightest, only a reversal of a very well known fable. Lets not forget the fact that I couldn't tell the difference from wolf life and human life, i mean, they even had the paper! You really need to think these things out before splattering them on a page. I don't mean to be completely negative, however I think it is important for you to take your own work seriously, and I recognize that you are only 10. Best of luck to you.




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I have to agree with those who posted before me that you should spell check. Also, I spotted that there were some misplaced/dangling modifiers, if you could edit these errors, the story would make a lot more sense. But, you are just 10 so maybe these errors could be excused for this instance, just take care when you type.




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I know your just ten, but your grammar is atrocious. You need to work on your spelling a little bit. I read in your profile you don't care about grammar. Grammar is a wonderful thing!
Also, you made this story in a poem style. More of Lyrics rather than a story. You should write like this
~line1
~line2
It really makes a big difference, and you may not even know it.
It was a good story, with personification, which always makes me laugh.



Who overcomes by force, hath overcome but half his foe.
— John Milton (Poet)