Untitled

The pain that exists; in the empty chamber that is your heart.
As the days turn to dusk and dusk turns to dawn,
and as the countless years that pass you by.

The pain is still fresh, as the harsh,
cold wind wipes across your face.

They say that pain alleviates over time,
but it seems the pain gets stronger with every breath you take,
and with each beat of your aching heart.

Um... shouldn't this be in the poetry section. You said it was a poem, after all.

Just wonderin'

~MV

Yes, I wondered that as well. No matter what it is, it's still cliche. Just listening to my favorite CD, my favorite band, I hear so many songs basically singing about the same thing you've written, and not to sound rude but they sing it better. You might want to really think about how you can make this song unique and different.

Yeah, this should not be under lyrics. It was my first time posting, and I accidentally put it in the wrong place. *Oops*

MadHatter- I get what you are saying, and I respect your opinion

Just trying to help. Hey, I wrote a crapload of songs that were cliche during my..."darker days".

Wow, this is really good. I'm blow away! You should extend this... and if you do, I'd like to know. So I can read the rest!