Essay: On Poetry.

I am terribly unsure of this essay. It was more of an experiment for me than anything. I've been trying to write it for months and finally posted it in search of some advice from someone other than myself.




The small, unfamiliar desk in front of me is littered with pieces of newsprint and magazine. I’m not writing a ransom letter, but I might as well be. I think it’s supposed to be an exercise in creativity. The woman at the front of the room, a published poet whose name I can’t remember, is telling us what poetry is. “It’s all about expression,” she says in a breathy voice, gesturing at the ceiling, "A poem says something."

I’ve tuned out. “Does anyone have an ‘also’?” I ask. My fellow literary magazine nerds shrug. A list of broken phrases hovers on my piece of construction paper. I haven’t the heart to glue any of them down; I’m wondering if this counts as a good way to spend my time.

The inspiration just isn’t touching me, I guess. I decide to paste my sentences down. They bring to mind a sort of literary Frankenstein, a string of phrases spliced and sewn together from old issues of People and National Geographic.

I admit, I’m proud of my first line: “What would you do with Wisconsin?” I wonder what I would do with Wisconsin...build a theme park, maybe, or just give it to Minnesota as a Christmas present. But I digress.

The woman at the front of the room continues to speak. “Poets reflect the world around them, and poetry is very free and open and…” I stare and listen for a while. I want to consider myself a poet, however mediocre my own verse may be.
But what is poetry? I don’t think I can agree with the idealist writer standing in front of my desk.

Archibald MacLeish: “A poem should not mean but be.” I want to do more with my poetry than say something…I want to create, I want to live. I reflect nothing but my own soul—I serve no one else's purposes. I am not a slave to history.

T.S. Eliot said that “Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion…” Do poets write poetry to escape? If this is true, then a poem is a sanctuary, not a mirror.

But for now, I’m trapped in a dusty room at Syracuse University listening to this woman ramble, gluing a stanza down to my construction paper, listing quotes by old dead men in my head. I wish I could say something insightful, but I have only one line: “What would you do with Wisconsin?”

I’ve tuned out.

Out? What do you mean?

My fellow literary magazine nerds shrug.

I like this, but it is too heavy. "literary magazine" is heavy phrase, it keeps it from running smooth.

a string of phrases spliced and sewn together from old issues of People and National Geographic.

Italics! People and National Geographic

I wonder what I would do with Wisconsin...build a theme park, maybe, or just give it to Minnesota as a Christmas present. But I digress.

I like it more if it was this way: I wonder what I would do with Wisconsin. I could build a theme park, maybe, or just give it to Minnesota as a Christmas present. I hate the last line. The word digress doesn't work in the piece--for me.

I want to do more with my poetry than say something…I want to create, I want to live.

Lighten on the ellipses. It may make you feel like you're making a point, but your rhetoric is stronger without them.

T.S. Eliot said that “Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion…” Do poets write poetry to escape?

uncapitalized the P on Poetry, and get rid of the ellipse. I don't think they're needed for the quote, even?

I like this. I really do. You have a great voice going. But it is problematic. Are you writing an essay, or a personal narrative? Because it is trying to be both, it fails at being either one or the other. Entirely, I do mean. It needs to be one or the other, it needs a strong point seated as an essay or and exclusively a personal narrative. It would be much stronger if it could make up its mind about what it is. I like it, though, I like what you present in it, but I ask more of you. I really do. An essay regarding poetry needs to be more explanations rather than strange murmurs. I like the strange murmurs, though. I suppose this depends on your intent.

I concur with Suzanne's first three criticisms (and up til that point have nothing else to add), but I like the Wisconsin passage. You do, however, need to insert a space between the ellipsis and 'build.' Ditto the MacLeish paragraph.

During the next quoted passage--the woman speaking--there should be four periods in the ellipsis, as it comes at the end of a sentence. If it's not at the end of a sentence, perhaps your syntax needs cleaning up? Ditto the Eliot paragraph.

[Kudos, by the way, for using MacLeish and Eliot--two of my all-time favorite poets. Brilliant, non?]

I agree that you could scale back on the ellipses. Keep the one in "Wisconsin," as it serves a purpose--adding a feeling of whimsical musing, etc. Trim the others.

As for the Eliot quote, you do need the initial capital P. The ellipses there, however, are not necessary.

I would like to respond to Suzanne's uncertainty on whether or not this is should be considered an 'essay,' though--it most assuredly should. I'll quote Jordan and Carroll here--"The great French humanist Michel de Montaigne virtually invented the modern essay and actually coin the term Essais ("trials, attempts") for his collection" (The Longman Anthology, Vol.1A: The Early Modern Period, pg 1407). [And yes, I know that's not cited correctly; have mercy on me. =)]

According to that definition, this is nothing if not an essay, in the vein of Montaigne.

I like this. I think it could do with a little more fleshing out, or should at least be nestled into some sort of context (perhaps a little collection of your own essais, as you obviously have a gift). But what you've got here is a neat little gem--all it requires is some polishing.

You sound very formal here, like you don't want to let it go in too many directions. It sounds almost halting, as if you've stopped yourself from writing too much. For example, second paragraph, "my fellow literary magazine nerds shrug", I think I've always seen you say "litmag", which would form better, vernacularly, with "nerds" anyway ^_^ Then fourth paragraph, you end that you've digressed, but in doing so, have stopped yourself before getting to what could be the most interesting part of the digression. (lol, love the "What would you do with Wisconsin?" by the way).

The woman at the front of the room continues to speak. “Poets reflect the world around them, and poetry is very free and open and…” I stare and listen for a while. I want to consider myself a poet, however mediocre my own verse may be.
But what is poetry? I don’t think I can agree with the idealist writer standing in front of my desk.

Expand here! It's your main point!

Archibald MacLeish: “A poem should not mean but be.” I want to do more with my poetry than say something…I want to create, I want to live. I reflect nothing but my own soul—I serve no one else's purposes. I am not a slave to history.

T.S. Eliot said that “Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion…” Do poets write poetry to escape? If this is true, then a poem is a sanctuary, not a mirror.

I think these could stand to be tied together and fleshed out a bit more; they otherwise just kind of trail off with no resolution [*avoids lengthy musical reference* ^~]. This part is all about you! How you relate to what you write, and what you want to do with it. Make it concrete; make it personal.

But for now, I’m trapped in a dusty room at Syracuse University listening to this woman ramble, gluing a stanza down to my construction paper, listing quotes by old dead men in my head. I wish I could say something insightful, but I have only one line: “What would you do with Wisconsin?”

There's something about this, that seems too contrived. Like you're whispering and trying very hard for a certain effect, but all that comes through is the attempt. I think some of this might come from trying to write too much too quickly? There's a lot of information, a lot of things happening in each sentence, in each pair of words, even, but they don't have to be said so quickly. In such haste, a lot of the emotion that I know could push this is lost. Much like Suz discussed, is the intent here to be an essay or a personal narrative?

You say you're unsure. Is it that awkward, almost nauseous feeling? I find that usually comes with the wording and approach of a topic, and that it goes away when you throw caution to the wind and write for no one but yourself. Dunno if this is your case or not, but I thought I'd share anyway ^_^

Good luck on polishing it up!

Ditto Suzanne. It seems more like one of those Time articles, like what they're doing before they meet with George Clooney or something. It seems too casual for an essay.

But the voice really is brilliant, full of personality. :]

--Seree.