chapter 4

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*this is just part of it but im probably goin to be adding to it and reediting it...*

She awoke to find she was now alone in her bed. Though she dreaded getting up, she knew she had too.
She didn’t have much time to get ready for the day.
Silently she laughed to her self, recalling the events that had token place the previous night. Oh how she wished time would have stood still, so she could be with him forever and never have to worry about anything.
She could smell a faint hint of eggs being cooked. Remembering how hungry she was, she finally stood, looking around at the room.
She really had to clean this place up.
She quietly got dressed, and slipped into the kitchen, adjacent to her bedroom.
"Hello, is this thing on?"




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*She awoke to find she was now alone in her bed. Though she dreaded getting up, she knew she had too. *

This is too much telling. :)

*She didn’t have much time to get ready for the day*

'She rushed about, throwing some clothes on the bed, practically smacking the shower into gear....'
:)

*She quietly got dressed, and slipped into the kitchen, adjacent to her bedroom.*

This, and her overall attitude, does not show me she's terribly worried about getting ready. Conflicting imagery.

Thats about all I saw. :D

:smt051
*Seraph*
"How grateful we are that the heavens are indeed open, that the gospel of Jesus Christ has been restored, and that the Church is founded on the rock of revelation. We are a blessed people, with apostles and prophets upon the earth today."~ Thomas S. Monson




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yeah i know im goign to fix that....im just brainstorming and tyring to get some ideas on what to put next....

*wolfeyes*
"Hello, is this thing on?"



The first draft is a trip to the amusement park. The next drafts are returning there as a safety inspector.
— SunsetTree