Seven Deadly Sins #3 [Wrath]

Venom has a way of slithering through the veins,
Corrupting soul after soul in a comforting embrace.
It seeks no one race, no one gender, no one age of any type.
But simply lurks in the blood like a cheetah in the field,
As a flammable adrenaline, a match everyone tries to strike.

Pain melts upon his heart and brands his soul with heated wax.
Ferocious fury is released, Hellish demons are set loose.
It’s that sort of fire one can possess, and burn whomever all they wish,
With not a slither of remorse, with not the least tinge of sorrow.
What have we become? To allow humane and humanity,
A chance to divorce and set upon their separate ways?

A fine line presents itself between opponent and adversary,
Betwixt dislike and hatred, as well as anger and wrath.
Though the matter of crossing over said line ourselves,
Relies heavily upon our own accord. If we are willing,
To sample the aftertaste once the poison is swallowed.

It is the poison of fear, pride, or whatever our circumstance.
And it taints us all until we have nothing left to call our own.

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Thanks for reading! ^_^ Next will be "Envy".

I liked this, but it lacked something. You had some good imagry but it didn't really spark any response from me. It seemed more like a textbook overview of Wrath, a creative overview, but still something that would be in the dictionary next to Wrath. I did really enjoy the line

Corrupting soul after soul in a comforting embrace

"comforting embrace" is a a very good way to describe the way people let their anger control them. Overall it was well-written, but it seemed kind of flat.

I enjoyed it but I thought that it was a little too heavy and too dark (obviously it's supposed to be dark and heavy but it's a little too much). Lighten it up a little, ya know what I mean?

Hmm... now that I've reread this, it does seem a little dark, heavy, and Dictionary-ish. I'll try to keep that in mind when I write the other four. I was worried that I wouldn't have enough imagery to make this dark at all! XD But it seems that I have... and I've slightly overdone it. ^_^ Ok-o!

Many thanks for your inputs!!

Royally,
~*Lady Sydney*~

Nice, but as you said yourself, the formal tone doesn't do much for the emotion and message you want to convey.

Though the matter of crossing over said line ourselves,

That in particular stood out to me as being pretty contrived and forced, and I think the piece would be infinitely more effective if you dropped that tone and concentrated on allowing your strong images to speak for themselves.

Mkay. Thanks, Liz! I will work on that. ^_^