I don't think i'll keep this name, but let's go with it until I can think up a better one =P so anyway, this is the prologue (well, about half of it, it's unfinished but I'd like to get some feedback please)
The garden was her own little world. Although it was only a small plot of land surrounded by the towering walls of the castle, the young girl would sit amongst the emerald green trees and imagine that it stretched out forever into an eternal paradise. Sometimes she would lie beside the wildflowers and stare up at the clouds as they slowly wondered by, wishing that she could sprout wings and fly up to drift along beside them.
Evelyn was her name, with her curly chestnut hair and inquisitive blue eyes. The late morning sunlight lent its glimmer to her silver dress, sprinkling it with shine. It seemed to her that today would be one like any other, as she lay on the soft grass twisting a coil of hair around her finger. The damp scent of moist lay pungent in the hazy morning air, and the surrounding bushes shivered as a soft breeze rustled through them. Humming a gentle tune to the wind, she watched as a leaf floated down lazily from a tree, to settle peacefully upon the earth.
‘What’s your name...?’
Evelyn heard a voice call suddenly, so she lifted herself up to try and locate where the sound had come from. The voice seemed fairly close, so she was sure it had been addressed to her, but after spiralling around twice, she saw no one. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
‘What’s your name...?’ the voice repeated once more, and this time she heard the clatter of cutlery followed by the echo of footsteps. She span around and spotted a woman walking steadily across the paving which joined the edge of the garden to the castle walls. She ran to the woman, who was carrying a pile of pots and plates in her hands. Her eyes seemed firmly focused on the road ahead, so Evelyn was a little confused, but ran over to the woman regardless, since she was the only one around and therefore the only one who could possibly have called her.
‘Hey!’ she called, stopping abruptly a few centimetres away from the edge of the garden.
‘My name…’ she paused to catch her breath, ‘ is Evelyn! What’s yours?’
She smiled broadly, but the woman merely adjusted her pots a little, creating a short chorus of jangles and bangs. She gazed at the sky for a moment, as if all she had heard was the far away echo of a breeze, seemingly oblivious to the voice of the young girl who stood less than a meter away from her.
The woman walked on, disappearing a moment later through a door which led into one of the many castle corridors.
‘Humph’ Evelyn breathed angrily, crossing her arms in frustration. Why do they always ignore me? She wandered to herself.
‘Evelyn? That’s a pretty name’.
She whizzed around, and noticed a robin perched upon a small branch of the nearest tree, it’s beady eyes focused entirely on her.
The young girl gasped as the bird flew down and landed upon her outstretched hand. The robin ruffled it’s feathers and stared up at her once more.
‘My name is Bracken’ said the voice who had been calling her name, and to Evelyn’s amazement, she realised it was the bird who had spoken.
‘I… how can… I understand you…?’ she whispered in a daze.
The robin bent it’s head to one side, contemplating this thought.
‘Perhaps it’s because you’ve only just begun to listen?’ it said, before suddenly flying from her hand and swiftly up into great blue canvas of the sky.
‘No… wait!’ the girl cried out, jumping into the air and stretching her hands in a desperate attempt the reach the bird. It spiralled twice in the sky, it’s words carried down towards her in the breeze.
‘Nice to meet you, Evelyn!’, the robin called, before disappearing behind the peak of one of the castle walls.
It was from that moment that she realised something deep inside her had been unlocked. A power that had previously lain dormant within herself had been awakened.
. My advice would be careful this topic has been used alot. I wouldn't say overused if approached right. Now to you need to think how to approach this topic newly. I like how ya started, it was quite original. If you do this right you could have an amazing story. You passed character development., but next chapter should work on it more and explaining more about setting. Nothing else more I can say, Aedomir noticed it all mostly. Look forward to next bit.
