*bows* Thanks for reading. It's been fun.
^_^ Keek out!
Compared to Derrin’s devastating, yet graceful strength, Sillon was hopelessly doomed when it came to combat.
Derrin’s next sweeping blow, sent Sillon’s sword flying.
The older acolytes shoulders slumped in defeat even before the weapon hit the ground with a clang.
“You’ve beat me again, Derrin,” he acknowledge, a rueful smile on his face.
Derrin dsicreetly peek over at his companion.
“My gift sows me what is, and so I know that ultimately these small favors will not change the great design.”
Derrin nodded, as always respecting Sillon’s wisdom.
The gift foresight was one that often found it’s way to those who turned their auras to holy purposes.
But the gift of sight—seeing the present—was a rare gift indeed.
Sillon watched him for a moment, ten discreetly, struggled into is own saddle.
S they rode out, Derrin looked back to take in the view.
Craved out of the very stone of the mountain, the Holy Sanctuary of Oun was home to all those who wished to truly understood that the mastery of one’s aura was an art that required dedication and precision.
Some did to stay for long, only coming to learn to master their auras.
The religious foundation of the art was one that was looked upon with skepticism, many believed that there was nothing holy about master one’s aura and that the church had simply monopolized all those with the knowledge to teach the art to others.
There was no wall around the outer sanctum, as the elegant stone structures gave way to mountainside, they began their descent, quickly being swallowed up by tall pines.
Oun Mountain was known for its pines, few other trees could survive in the cold.
If you could not master your aura enough to keep yourself warm, you much less likely to appreciate the trip.
P1 Question: I sort of lob you with a load of information here, does anyone feel it would be better if I revealed it more slowly? Or maybe open with...omg! Yes! Who thinks it would be better if we get to follow the messenger up the mountain as he contemplates his destination?
Their master watched the battle from to balcony above, shaking his head in dismay.
Derrin’s next sweeping blow, sent Sillon’s sword flying.
“Derring and Sillon are two of the most talented acolytes in this sanctuary,” he said. The man standing just behind him nodded.
Derrin dsicreetly peek over at his companion.
Sillon was quiet, but when he noticed Derrin’s curious gaze he smiled.
“I don’t begrudge you this honour, Derrin,” he said calmly. “My gift sows me what is, and so I know that ultimately these small favors will not change the great design.”
Derrin nodded, as always respecting Sillon’s wisdom. The gift foresight was one that often found it’s way to those who turned their auras to holy purposes. They worked for the future, and so the future granted them glimpses of itself. But the gift of sight—seeing the present—was a rare gift indeed.
“Thank you, my friend,” Derrin said, mounting the grey mare that had been prepared for him. Sillon watched him for a moment, ten discreetly, struggled into is own saddle.
Derrin hid his grin under his hand—Sillon had an innate talent with the manipulation of his aura, but it seemed to have come at the cost of is physical coordination.
He was dressed, like Sillon, in a silken white robe that bore the symbol of the sanctuary upon it’s front.
This robe showed that he was a man of great power, who had perfected the art of turning his will to spells.
Derrin, however, wore pants and a white tabard bearing the same symbol—this represented that he specialized in the fighting arts, though it was no secret his aura was he strongest of his generation.
S they rode out, Derrin looked back to take in the view.
The Sanctuary of Oun, home of the Masters, had been carved from stone of the mountain.
This needs to be rewritten. The last part is a bit clunky. The Sanctuary of Oun, home of the Masters, had been carved from the stone within/from the mountain. I'm really unsure how to reword this. 
but it needs it. ^^It rested atop a plateau halfway up the mountain, the spire of the holy tower around which it was built reaching up to the unfettered sky.
Inlaid upon the smooth stone tower were silver writings that were said to reflect the sun’s light during the holy hour and enlighten all who could look upon them and understand their wisdom.
It was said that [s]none who were[/s] those unworthy to read the writings would only see this spectacular display after their deaths—for during their life, they were so devout, they would [s]prayed[/s] pray through the whole hour…[comma instead?] never once thinking to easily find enlightenment [s]that could be[/s] [?] earned through meditation.
[s]Gean[/s] Gaen [correct?] chuckled at the irony, [period, dash, colon, semi...]
the High Masters were surely an interesting bunch. [comma instead] Not that he had ever met any— [period instead] it was only now that he carried an important message on behalf of the [s]Kind[/s] King himself [s]did he find[/s] and found himself honored with the chance to enter the Inner Sanctum.
The Masters of Oun thought very highly of themselves.
[s]Gaen’s[/s] Gaen continued to chuckle at these thoughts, not minding that the thick pines for which Oun Mountain was well known for seemed to absorb the sound and give back only silence.
It was a calm fall morning, though up on the mountain, it was constantly winter.
[s]Luckily[/s] Fortunately, Gean had a liking for cool weather.
Gaen’s horse began to prance, suddenly agitated.
“Now see here Percy, there’s nothing to be getting all agitated about,” he said sternly.
“There’s no way that bear is going to show up on this mountain.”
But Percy ignored his master, stopping dead in his tracks. [comma instead] Though not quite as dead as [s]Gean[/s] Gaen [right?] was a moment later when he fell from the saddle—a knife through his heart.
After all, the young woman with the stunning green eyes had paid the assassin handsomely to get the job done right.
On a different part of the mountain, some hours later, a grizzly man by the name of Leonald trudged tirelessly through the snows of Oun, [period instead] His grim expression would have been attributed to two reasons— [comma instead] both of which had to do with him marching through the snow rather than [s]take[/s] taking the direct trail to the sanctuary.
Perhaps the least relevant of these was his destination— [comma instead] or rather the people he would meet there.
...but in their neighboring country, Sequesh, those who mastered [s]their[/s] it [?] did not conceal [s]this[/s] their true nature—there, they only answered to the name ‘Holy’.
[s]Leonald[/s] He knew that within the sanctuary, the Masters were known as Priests, and their students as acolytes.
...and though the snow only reached [s]half-way[/s] halfway up to his ankle, it was hard work.
Only the [s]important[/s] importance of the message he carried kept him from cursing.
His message was the second reason, though it was not the message itself that made him so him.
Over the last seven months, the creature known as the Demon Bear had been wreaking havoc, leaving nine town massacred.
. It was no surprise to anyone the king would call for a priest, many only wondered at why he’d waited so long.
A military man, he saw in the bear’s behavior some glimmer of higher intelligence— [comma instead] intelligence he wansn’t going to let stop him from getting rid of the beast.
Not knowing where the bear went after [s]it’s[/s] its attacks, or even if the beast was a bear, the General had enlisted [s]Leonard[/s] Leonald to take an [s]un-traveled[/s] untraveled route to the Sanctuary, fearing that Gaen might fall prey to the bear if [s]indeed[/s] it was indeed intelligent enough to know to watch for a messenger.
The very thought that this creature might have such a high intellect was a thought that weighed on Leonard like a cloak of lead.
Sadly, [s]Leonalf[/s] Leonald had a rare gift—the same gift that had helped him to becoming a Lieutenant—and his gift told him that general Jeren was a man who was rarely wrong.
[s]Lornald[/s] Leonald could only hope his brother, Sillon, currently an acolyte of the Sanctuary, would know of the message he bore—Leonald was not so reckless that he would assume he was safe from danger.
Jabber- Yes. The messenger. That actually gives me a huge opportunity to get in some nice stylized descriptions and explain the history more slowly.
But yes, do that. I know some people actually print it out, write comments on paper, and then type up their comments when they're done.
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