My Way....

I changed the rating to PG-13 because of the language and I changed your title so it wasn't all caps.

Wow...did you realize when you were writing this that each line is its very own cliche?

Honestly, this is not the way to construct a poem. Not only does it lack originality, it jumps from subject to subject, repeating one tired phrase after another. Doesn't this poem have a subject? A plot, perhaps? Some punctuation at the very least?

For future reference, because I don't believe this poem is going anywhere:
1. Read lots of good poetry.
2. Say what you mean, not what you've heard. What do you truly think? What unique images can you describe in your own words?
3. Don't bold the poem. What's the point if it's all in bold?
4. Use proper grammar, punctuation, etc. We're not going to take your poem seriously until you can show us you do too.

-Colleen

Cade has hit the nose right on the button. (...can that happen? )

-Don't bold a poem. It's pointless and annoying to the reader.
-Don't hit enter between every line. Right now, you have 17 one line stanzas...why?
-Don't caps your title. As attention getting as it is it will just cause people to be annoyed with you and be less likely to critique your poem anyway. Besides, it makes us have to change it.
-Make sure to rate your poems.
-"wat" is not a proper English word, use proper grammar and stay away from netspeak.
-Add poetic elements (similies, metaphors, etc.)
-Use punctuation beyond the comma.
-Use less complete sentence structure.

Really what it all boils down to is indeed to read more poetry, pick out the elements that make it good, decide why it was published and how it makes you feel, how the words affect you and other readers, and what makes it a poem. Practice these!

Good luck!