IT

I wrote this for 1dering at stars' Box Contest. It's kinda weird but it was fun to write!
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The girl opposite me peeked at IT out of the corner of her eye, probably wondering it IT could still be here after all this time. Stupid. IT was always there, looming and ominous. Always. I shivered and attempted to avert my eyes but it was near impossible. IT made it that way. My eyes were drawn to IT like moths to a lamp. I resisted, of course, but it made little difference. If I didn’t see IT physically, I would be able to picture IT mentally.

The sharp unyielding edges, the coarse texture, the somehow sturdy look, the vast darkness within.

How much longer would IT keep us here? And how had it kept us here for so long? I looked at my hands and feet, but there were no chains. We were not bound by any physical means. No. It was something more than that.

The others seemed similarly restrained. There were only five of us, all of us with our eyes fixated on IT, all of us fighting some unknown force. Occasionally, we were able to look away, briefly, but we always looked back to see if IT could still be there.

IT always was. Every time. Lurking in its shadowy corner, taunting us. I wondered if, like moths drawn to a light, we would soon die. Was it a ZAP-light? Would we flit too close? Who would be first? Would one death break the trancelike state? We couldn’t go on like this much longer. IT had to release us… right?

Right?

Right?!

RIGHT?!

It had to! We couldn’t last! Who was going to be first?! Would we all survive?! Would ANYONE survive?!

A high keening sound rose and fell desperately in the background, my voice.

I was first.

I was first!

I WAS FIRST!

No! Dear lord, someone help us! NO!! Please! Please no! Not like this, no! No! Please!

“Hey!” a deep concerned voice broke through my panic, I looked up. It was a man, no older than twenty.

“You kids okay?”

Several nodded. I gulped and shook my head.

“What’s wrong?”

I lifted a shaking finger and pointed at IT

“This box?”

I nodded.
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I told you it was weird.

I don't get it -- or IT, for that matter.

I'm not sure I like "IT" being all caps. You could convey the same thing with "It," unless I'm missing something, which I probably am.

RIGHT?!

It had to! We couldn’t last! Who was going to be first?! Would we all survive?! Would ANYONE survive?!

The exclamation marks make everything seem melodramatic -- I'd cut those out and find a better way to increase suspense than just screaming at the reader.

wondering it IT

First "it" should be "if."

So yeah, I don't understand the story. What is the box? Am I not supposed to know?

Prokaryote

first, check out the 1dering at stars contest page.

then, know that it isn't really supposed to make sense it's a vague piece of weird writing done while i was in a strange mood. my apologies, its kinda... weird. doesnt make much sense to me either, sorry.

I kinda agree that the capital "IT" really distracted me. I think just having the first letter in caps would have the desired effect.

Overall, this kinda confuzzled me. I will go check out 1dering's contest now..........

The caps on IT remind me alot of the name for the large brain in A Wrinkle In Time by Madeline L'Engle (Not sure if I spelled her name right). That is the book we are currently reading in reading class, lol.

Luv,
VenomStitches/Spirit/Gabby