why did it happen to me?

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It seemed as if she had drifted off to sleep.

When she woke up the next morning, she found herself in her own bed.

Confused, she sat up quickly, almost knocking off the figure at the end of the bed.

The figure moved a bit, grunting something. She couldn’t understand what

it was, but not daring to make whatever it was angry, she slowly maneuvered herself out from under the covers, barely making a sound.

When she was sure the figure wouldn’t jump out and tackle her, she eased over to the closet to get dressed. There was a rustle in the kitchen, after thinking a moment, she decided it was her mother in the kitchen, preparing for the party.

Another movement came from the kitchen, but this time it sounded like chairs being slid across the floor.

She froze. The sudden voices made her paralyzed with fear. She glanced around the room, still dark because she hadn’t thought to turn the light on, trying to focus her eyes on anything that moved in the room. As her eyes scanned the room, there was a movement over in the corner of the room where her bed was. Her eyes dashed in the direction of the movement.

She gasped.

She had forgotten about the mysterious figure on the end of her bed. Only now did she realize the figure was sitting up, stretching. It had the shape of a person, but it was to dark for her to tell.

Then with out warning the figure stood up, looking around it as if it were trying to find something, until its eyes came around to where she stood.

The figure moved.

It gracefully bounded toward her, as if it was normal. When it reached her, it reached its hand above her shoulder, pausing as if trying to figure out what to do next, and flipped the switch that turned the light on.
Light filled the room and momentarily blinded her.

She lifted her hands over her eyes, trying to shield her eyes from the brightness of the room. Slowly she moved her hands from her eyes. When her eyes adjusted to the light, she looked up and gasped.

Again.

Her hands started trembling. Realizing her mouth was still open in surprise, she closed her mouth quickly with a silent click.
As she gazed upward, she started to slip around the figure standing before her. She still couldn’t believe what she was seeing.

It wasn’t until the figure spoke, that she realized the person in front of her was real.

Again she gasped, not out of surprise but out of embarrassment. Standing before her was her future husband, Son jay.
She hesitated, not knowing what to say. She didn’t have to wait much longer.

“Hey.” Son jay said as if he did it every morning.

“What are you doing here?” She asked. A flicker of hurt crossed his eyes. It only lasted a moment.

“I carried you home after you fell asleep. I wasn’t going to leave you there.” He turned around and glided back over to the bed, straightened the covers, and sat down. He patted the seat next to him.

It took her a moment to realize he was motioning for her to come join him, but when she did, she hurriedly glided over to him, and plopped herself down next to him.

There was a brief silence between them; finally she spoke, shattering the silence around them.

“You didn’t have to scare me like that.” She looked over at him to see he was smiling, trying to hold back his laughter. Amazingly, he was able to keep himself from laughing, till she looked at him with a cold bitterness in her eyes. Jokingly, he nudged her with his hand and said, “Nueve, y que?”

She laughed.

“Well, seeing how you are much stronger than me, I think the chances are a 70-30%.” A broad grin crossed her face. She couldn’t see how this great guy like Son jay could possibly like her. He was tall a lean, a muscular jaw line that had a deadly attraction, his eyes were an icy cold, clear blue; if you looked him straight I the eyes, they looked penetrating, like he could look in your eyes and read your thoughts. She leaned closer to him, enjoying the feeling that was emerging in her. He looked at her and smiled; without warning, he gathered her in his arms, not letting her go and held on to her like it was the last time they would ever see each other. He held her for a while then let her go; he laughed.

“What’s so funny?” She asked wondering what he was laughing at.

"Nothing.” He looked away trying to stop laughing, when he stopped laughing he glanced back at her, and burst out laughing again.

She pushed him and stood up, her hand on her hip and her head cocked to the side, frowning. “I’m being serious. You’re lucky it would be a 70-30% difference, or I’d kick your butt!” She turned around, grinning.

“And who has the 70% chance of winning?” He asked standing up. He had a smirk on his face.

She stood up, face to face with him. “I do.” Was her reply. She stepped a little closer, challenging him.

“Oh, is that so? We’ll just see about that!” He tackled her on the bed, pinning her arms to her sides, laughing the whole time. She couldn’t help but laugh. She tried to use her feet to push him off of her, but that only made it worse. He now had her pinned completely, his head coming down to hers, his breath gently caressing her cheek as he whispered “Now who has the 70% chance?” His smile was a broad as the sun in the evening.

She looked up at him, his deep blue clear eyes gazing down on her; they seemed a bit watery. Was he crying? It looked like it. She really couldn’t tell.

She laughed, and struggled to get out from under him, but he had her pinned.

“Who has the 70% chance? I still think it’s me.” She stuck her tongue out at him, and he started laughing, while he rolled off her.

As he stood, she took in his masculine figure, her eyes running up and down his body.

She was actually enjoying her view.

“Are you okay?” He asked, startling her. He must have seen the way she was looking at him, because was looking at her with an odd expression.

“Ye…yeah, why?” She stuttered. She took her gaze off him and tried to concentrate on something else, but her eyes kept lingering back to him.

“You’re looking at me like you want to gobble me up for desert.” He looked at her then smiled.

Devilishly.

“What are you thinking?” She had seen his smile, and was wondering what he was thinking.

He didn’t say anything, but he sat back down and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her down on the bed with him. Her head hit the pillow first and she wished he had never caught her looking at him that way. He propped his head on his elbow, and slid extremely close to her. The heat radiating off his body was extremely devastating, she was enveloped in the smell of his perspiration. He looked down at her, gazing with the same devilish smile, his eyes seemed to grow deeper and darker. Slowly his head came towards her; a sudden joy came over her. When he was about to kiss her he stopped, and asked “Are you sure?”

She was shocked. Sure of what? His hand was sliding up and down her back, caressing her and soothing her. He seemed to understand her confusion, because his smile began to fade, but didn’t completely disappear.

As she lay in his arms, she felt as if nothing else could go wrong. Silently, he took what belonged to him. When he finished, he lay beside her, and they drifted off to sleep together, happier than anyone in the world.
"Hello, is this thing on?"




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Watch the braces:


{S}he drifted off to sleep.

When she {a}woke the next morning, {Sequoya} found herself in her own bed.

Confused, she sat up quickly, almost knocking off the figure at the {foot} of the bed.

The figure moved a bit, grunting something. She couldn’t understand what it {said. N}ot daring to make whatever it angry, she slowly maneuvered herself out from under the covers, barely making a sound.

{When she was sure the figure was quite asleep}, she eased over to the closet to g{o}t dressed. There was a rustle in the kitchen{. Probably Mother preparing for the party, decided Sequoya.}

Another movement came from the kitchen, but this time it sounded like chairs being slid across the floor. She froze. The sudden voices paralyzed {her} with fear. She glanced around the room, still dark because she hadn’t thought to turn the light on, trying to focus her eyes on anything that moved in the room. As her eyes scanned the room, there was a movement over in the corner of the room where her bed was.

She gasped. She had forgotten about the mysterious figure on the end of her bed. Only now did she realize the figure was sitting up, stretching. It was to{o} dark for her to tell {who it was}.

Then with out warning the figure stood up, looking around it as if it were trying to find something, until its eyes came around to where she stood. The figure moved{, bounding gracefully toward her.} When it reached her, its hand moved above her shoulder, trying to figure out what to do next {A hand trying to figure out something is kind of weird.}, and flipped the switch that turned the light on. Light filled the room and momentarily blinded her.

She lifted her hands over her eyes, trying to shield her eyes from the brightness of the room. Slowly she moved her hands from her eyes. When her eyes adjusted to the light, she looked up and gasped. Her hands started trembling. Realizing her mouth was still open in surprise, she closed her mouth quickly with a silent click. As she gazed upward, she started to slip around the figure standing before her. She still couldn’t believe what she was seeing, and it wasn’t until the figure spoke, that she realized the person in front of her was real. {She gasped once more in embarrassment.}

Son jay stood before her.

She hesitated, not knowing what to say.

“Hey{,}” Son jay said.

“What are you doing here?” She asked.

A flicker of hurt crossed his eyes{, but i}t only lasted a moment{,} “I carried you home after you fell asleep. I wasn’t going to leave you {out} there.”

He turned around and glided back over to the bed{. After} straighten{ing} the covers and s{i}t{ting} down{,} he patted the seat next to him. It took her a moment to realize he was motioning for her to come join him, but when she did, she hurriedly glided {“Glided” has been used too many times. Pick a different word.} over to him and plopped down next to him. There was a brief silence between them{.

F}inally she spoke, shattering the silence{,} “You didn’t have to scare me like that.”

She looked over at him{. He was smiling, trying to hold back his laughter, until} she looked at him with cold bitterness in her eyes. {Then} he nudged and said, “Nueve, y que?” {“Nine, and that?” help me. I know little to nothing of Spanish.}

She laughed{,} “Well, seeing how you are much stronger than me, I think the chances are 70-30%.”

A broad grin crossed her face. She couldn’t see how this great guy like Son jay could possibly like her. He was tall. {His jaw line was lean and muscular – very attractive. H}is eyes were {icy blue, penetrating, seemingly mind reading.} She leaned closer to him, enjoying the feeling that was emerging in her. He looked at her and smiled{. W}ithout warning, he gathered her in his arms, not letting her go and {holding} on to her {as if it were the last thing he would do}. He held her for a while then let her go; he laughed.

“What’s so funny?” she asked wondering what he was laughing at.

"Nothing{,}” {h}e looked away{,} trying to stop laughing

{W}hen he stopped laughing{,} he glanced back at her and burst out laughing again.

She pushed him and stood up, her hand on her hip and her head cocked to the side, frowning{,} “I’m being serious. You’re lucky it would be a 70-30% difference, or I’d kick your butt!”

She turned around, grinning.

“And who has the 70% chance of winning?” He asked standing up.

He had a smirk on his face.

She stood up, face to face with him. “I do” was her reply. She stepped a little closer, challenging him.

“Oh, is that so? We’ll just see about that!” He tackled her on the bed, pinning her arms to her sides, laughing the whole time.

She couldn’t help but laugh. She tried to use her feet to push him off of her, but that only made it worse.

He now had her pinned completely, his head coming down to hers{.}

{H}is breath gently caressing her cheek as he whispered, “Now who has the 70% chance?”

His smile was a broad as the sun in the evening. She looked up at him, his deep blue clear eyes gazing down on her; they seemed a bit watery. Was he crying? It looked like it. She really couldn’t tell. She laughed and struggled to get out from under him, but he had her pinned.

“Who has the 70% chance? I still think it’s me{,}” {s}he stuck her tongue out at him, and he started laughing, while he rolled off her.

As he stood, she took in his masculine figure, her eyes running up and down his body. She was actually enjoying her view.

“Are you okay?” {h}e asked, startling her.

He must have seen the way she was looking at him, because was looking at her with an odd expression.

“Ye…yeah, why?” {s}he stuttered.

She took her gaze off him and tried to concentrate on something else, but her eyes kept lingering back to him.

“You’re looking at me like you want to gobble me up for desert{,}” {h}e looked at her then smiled devilishly.

“What are you thinking?” {s}he had seen his smile and was wondering what he was thinking.

He didn’t say anything, but he sat back down and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her down on the bed with him. Her head hit the pillow first and she wished he had never caught her looking at him that way. He propped his head on his elbow and slid extremely close to her. The heat radiating off his body was extremely devastating{;} she was enveloped in the smell of his perspiration. {You make the last two sentences seem bad, but everything else is written with joy or happiness.} As he gaz{ed at her with} the same devilish smile, his eyes seemed to grow deeper and darker. Slowly his head came towards her; a sudden joy came over her.

When he was about to kiss her{,} he stopped and asked{,} “Are you sure?”

She was shocked{,} Sure of what? His hand was sliding up and down her back, caressing her and soothing her. He seemed to understand her confusion, because his smile began to fade {without disappearing} completely.

As she lay in his arms, she felt as if nothing could go wrong. Silently, he took what belonged to him. When he finished, he lay beside her, and they drifted off to sleep together, happier than anyone in the world.


Some of it so confusing enough, I actually changed some of the meaning of what you were trying to say, but I don't think it made that much of a difference. You use to many single-sentence paragraphs. They should be incorporated into others. Make sure you have correct word usage. All of the percentile stuff confused me.

As a last remark, I'm sorry that you're putting the sex stuff in it. I don't care if there's romance, but people don't need to hear about sex. You can have love and romance without sex. Sex is for married couples who are mature enough to understand that it is for the production of children first and then stimulation of their marriage (pleasure & union).
Motive, according to & through Triple G, determines value.

Isaac Mullins Copyright © 2008




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yeah......ill kepp that in mind.....sorry!! :oops: i wasnt really thinking clearly when i wrote this...i think i might redit it....
"Hello, is this thing on?"



Once you have people's attention, you have a greater responsibility to tell them something of value.
— Tobias Forge (Ghost B.C.)