This poem is too rhyming. I realize that you're trying to achieve a sarcastic tone with the rhyme and wording, but it doesn't seem to work. I think it doesn't work because you seem to be bent on using obscure words, but these obscure words really don't add anything to the poem and just drag it down. Shakespeare has a sense of fluidity in his works and, with a couple of rereadings his poems are wonderfully light on the tongue. This, on the other hand, seems to roam the dungeons like an eternally chained ghost.
Reread this a couple of times. Don't focus on your rhyming as much--focus on making your meaning come alive. Then it'll get better.
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.
"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach
