A Brief History of the Ex-Dee #4

IV. Elegy to the Artichoke

Lena went to the market on her way home
and in her schoolbag, between
her notebook and little screen
she placed the newly green one
to go home and cook for dinner.
And as she peeled back layer after layer,
she finally reached in to eat his green heart.
And when she did, what was left to do, but again
fall down that well
now forever.

***

He met her there, like he said he would. But
he couldn't stay and she could so while she could jump around,
his head was tied in a bubble of gas that
would eventually run out
Logically, then, all there was left to do
was hold hands and
look up through the sky.
If only to see their emotions written between the stars.


This poem is part four(ish) of a series. To read the rest, please refer to this thread


Author's Note: Please, bear with me while I try to figure this out

Now this green heart thing makes sense, with the artichoke...Melja, I do love your style, but I definitely don't like Part Four as much as the others. It's just not as cohesive, a little rambly, you know? The others all seemed more or less polished, with strong images and all. But this isn't as impressive. It especially lacks a connection between the first and the second sections...stanzas? They do have those asterisks in between.

Miscellaneous:

Lena...Is it pronounced Lee-na or Lay-na? I'd like to know.

What is this screen you reference when talking about the bag?


Well, Amelia, I have faith in you. You will edit this and make it better. And then I will come back and gush a bit.

-Colly

Are you talking about the dark side of love. I feel that your poems are vague and not very cohesive for a series. I think when you edit it have some recurring motifs and imagery and words to create a strong communion with your works. Frankly your poems do seem like their their talking abou the dark side of love