I Am Who I Am

Wrote this back in 7th Grade. My only poem that rhymes. Well actually I have other rhyming poems to but they're sorta nonsensical. XD

I Am Who I Am

Looking inside me I See
That I may not be so perfect,
But I know I can be free,
If I let myself go
and be who I am
and feel as I Show.

Make up and clothes
won't change the person me
but just another person to loath
I must be proud of who I am
and show I don't care what other's think
for I am who I am.

For me to be a person they like,
I will make myself so fake that
I will be someone they will spite.
I must be proud of who I am
and show I don't care what other's think
for I am who I am.

My eyes maybe small
I may have a pimple on my nose
But I will be liked by all
If I am who I am,
And proud of who I am.

Right, I'll just get the technical bits out of the way - you put a couple of capital letters in there in random places, and this line - "won't change the person me" doesn't make sense. Okay, that's out of the way.

I understand this poem. I went through this long stage when I dressed differently to other people in my school, I was a bit of a goth (well, still am) - I was different to other people there, so obviously, and I loved it. I wasn't about to change for anyone. So I can see where you're coming from here, however, and I don't mean to offend, but this isn't a poem that is going to stick in my mind. It just feels at the moment like anyone might have written it, it lacks individuality. I like the sentiment behind it, though. Keep writing.

Oook... I see where you're coming from. Nice content. But, as Matt said, it lacks individuality, thus it doesn't exactly "WOW" your readers. I personally wasn't too fond of the repetition of "I am who I am" and the other ways you worded it; I just don't think that it was needed so many times. I'm also confused as to why you capitalized some of the words. Are they suppose to stand for something?

This has great potential, though it needs a little help in the Originality department, because I've seen this same poem in many shapes and forms. Try to blow me out of the water.

Best wishes!

~*Sydney*~

What was up with the random capital letters? It was okay, not really great. Still, I liked it.

mizz-iceberg,


Before working your words into a form such as rhyme, you should first refine your writing to a point that would make formal structure empower it. As it is, this rests totally on the bunk rhyme scheme you have unsuccessfully attempted.

Reading good poetry, at this point, is the best advice I can give you.


Best,
Brad

The whole point of this poem is to show off the rhyme scheme. Trust me, not a good idea. After that, it hinges on the statement that can be summed up as 'I'm not perfect, but I'm happy with myself'. This is an alright place to start, but it would be much more interesting if taken a step further. What does that say about the subject? Is it consequential in any way?

whoa.....fantatstic yet strong and deep....straight to the point ......bravodo!

It rhymes... Oh. Hah. I didn't notice. I liked it though - it shows that sprucing up your outside won't change who you are inside, and no one can change you themselves, either.
You are who you are!
'For me to be a person they like,
I will make myself so fake that
I will be someone they will spite.
I must be proud of who I am
and show I don't care what other's think
for I am who I am. '

The rhyming scheme on this poem isn't the best. "Like and spite?" I think you tried to hard on this poem - it would have been much better if you hadn't tried rhyme.
That doesn't mean you should write rhyming poems! KEEP WRITING!

Hey, I really like this!
Not much to add, I love it the way it is.
Great job for the 7th Grade!

This is great stuff. So many people want to be what the world wants them to be.

When we accept ourselves for who and what we are, then we can be happy.

I love the idea, I love you you wrote about some of the things that people might not like about you, I love that it rhymes.

I'm loving this.


Andrew.