Save me

My heart survives in darkness.
It beats its slow
depressing tune.
It hurts,
it yearns.
It prays.
It sings its sad songs but I can't help but dream....

My heart is afraid of the night,
and all it does is beg for the light.
So where is my night light?
Will it get me through the night?

Chorus
Save. Me. From. The. Dark.
Save. Me. From. The. Light.
I. Can't. Save. Myself. Again.
I. Can't. Pull. Myself. Up.
I'll. Just. Fall. Back. Down. Again.

My heart thrives in the light.
It throbs and pounds
against my chest.
IT swells,
it soars.
It cheers.
It sings songs that I wrote for you.

My heart loves the light,
just as it's petrified of the night.
So where is the dark-light
to acclimate me to the night?

Chorus
Save. Me. From. The. Dark.
Save. Me. From. The. Light.
I. Can't. Save. Myself. Again.
I. Can't. Pull. Myself. Up.
I'll. Just. Fall. Back. Down. Again.

I can't live in the day or night,
dark or light.
So where is my twilight?

I can't save myself
one more time.
I just can't
do that to myself again.
So when I fall
catch me please!
Or better yet, just leave me.

Chorus
Save. Me. From. The. Dark.
Save. Me. From. The. Light.
I. Can't. Save. Myself. Again.
I. Can't. Pull. Myself. Up.
I'll. Just. Fall. Back. Down. Again.

I've pulled myself back up
one too many times.
I know I can't do it again.
So if I fall
just leave me there
and I'll try again tomorrow.

I can't stand the day or night.
Or the dark and light.
My eyes just won't adjust.
So where is my twilight?

Chorus
Save. Me. From. The. Dark.
Save. Me. From. The. Light.
I. Can't. Save. Myself. Again.
I. Can't. Pull. Myself. Up.
I'll. Just. Fall. Back. Down. Again.

So when I fall,
I'll try to crawl
to where I can stay
until I can come up again.

Chorus
Save. Me. From. The. Dark.
Save. Me. From. The. Light.
I. Can't. Save. Myself. Again.
I. Can't. Pull. Myself. Up.
I'll. Just. Fall. Back. Down. Again.

Save me please...
Find my twilight...
Save me please.

Interesting.

There are a few things *Seraph ducks behind the computer*:

Save. Me. From. The. Dark.
Save. Me. From. The. Light.
I. Can't. Save. Myself. Again.
I. Can't. Pull. Myself. Up.
I'll. Just. Fall. Back. Down. Again.

The period after every word messes up your flow. I suggest adding elipses or dashes, i.e

"Save me from the dark-
Save me from the light-"

"I can't save myself again...
I can't pull myself up..."

I think using a combination would be good.

Hm. With the verses, it's hard to feel for the MC [for lack of better words] because there isn't very much emotion/ background. We know nothing about her. I mean, look at some other lyrics, such as Kelly Clarkson "I cannot cry, because I know it's weakness in your eyes." Keith Urban "She let her heart and soul right in your hands," etc.
WHY does she want the darkness? WHY does she want the light? What's going on in her life? We need to know more about her.
Other than that, interesting. :D:D:D
If you need anything PM me :D

Hey Alice.

First off, you say that the narrator's heart loves the darknes...then you say it needs light...and then if she/he falls leave him/her there. That's kinda contradictory in my opinion. Okay, I see the point there, but the flow isn't right.

Chorus
Save. Me. From. The. Dark.
Save. Me. From. The. Light.
I. Can't. Save. Myself. Again.
I. Can't. Pull. Myself. Up.
I'll. Just. Fall. Back. Down. Again.

I liked the broken up chorus...the first two lines. You should have Just left "Save. Me. From. The. Dark"(and its repeat) with the broken up-ness. The last three lines you should make full sentences. Or break them up with elipses. But I really liked how the first two lines were broken up.

So where is the dark-light
to acclimate me to the night?

This sounds really awkward.

So when I fall
catch me please!
Or better yet, just leave me.


So if I fall
just leave me there
and I'll try again tomorrow.

Those two verses are really weird. You say 'catch me please!' and then you say 'leave me there'? I don't really get it. You're emphasizing the catch me by putting the excalmation there...but then you're completely contradicting it...

_______________________________________________________________________

Overall, I liked this poem, Alice. The lyrics were very good, aside from the things up there. ^_^

I really liked the flow.

~Timea

It's a great song. Except that its a bit confusing to whether or not you want the light or the darkness. At last we see that its twilight that your heart is comfortable in, if thats the case, then it should be consistent throughout the entire song or else you start contradicting yourself.
I agree with the comments of the others.
Great song though, nice flow.
would love to hear it with a tune. ^^

- jazii

This is very good. I think all the words with periods after them in the Chorus really doesn't work. I said it without periods and it sounded better to me and flowed nicely. Just curious, but do you have music for this, and if so, what type of music is it?

Heavier rock, and sadly no I don't know how to write music for rock stuff, and I'm afraid to approach those who do.