love,the lover and the beloved.

He is as the cluster of camphire
as the rows of jewels,
as a chain of gold,
He is her beloved


She is as the fountain of gardens
as a well of living water,
as an orchard of pomegranates,
She is his love.


He is as fine as gold
as sweet as flowers,
as excellent as cedars,
He is her beloved.


She is as a flourished vine,
as fair as the moon
as clear as the sun,
She is his love.


It is as strong as death,
as perfect as itself,
as a seal to their hearts,
It is their love.

Wow this is very good. As Im not very good at poems I am unable to give you any critz. Though it is really good! Go you!

This is very... clean cut. if that makes sense. I can feel you seem to be trying to put emotion in it, but it siimply isn't there, for me at least.

Although, I liked the ending, the ending had the most emotion to it. And maybe you wern't trying to put emotion in it, but considering it's in lyric poetry, I supposed you were.It is, however very desciptive and is beautiful in that way. I think everyone is searching for the kind of love you're talking about here.