kim

It's beautiful hon, but then again, all your work is...

further analysis indicates:

You are plath by night and....everyone loves a good plath reference
shoot razzles of beauty through your...razzles is a good word visually, but I'm not sure how it would work allowed. It adds a funny colour here
poetic cannon, held close enough
to hear your heartbeat and
the etchings of your fingers to be recorded
on bleach white paper.

You are a commongirl in the day
when you don’t need to veil your emotions
in quicksilverbullets and zing one-liners
like a Greek god, but we both know...Zeus' lightening, nice subtle allusion
if you ever stopped to look at yourself you would be overwhelmed in a mass
of poeticjusticestarlighthymnalsanddustyshelves...love the run on! here it's the opposite. It reads great aloud, but visually it's a bit tedious
waiting to be removed.

And in-between your latenight rendezvous
and sticky Cleopatra julydays, there is a girl
whose own pen has seen black and white etched across
so many pages for so many faces,...I like the almost-rhyme here, its good on the ears
but we’re all the same,
after all....a tad cliche, but a nice closing, none-the-less

Your poems just keep getting better and better! (of course I am a bit biased...especially for this piece...) Keep on writing dear, and thanks so much for this.

Who is KIM??? Sorry i have to go so I didn't read it all but WHO IS SHE???

I think Galatea is Kim...

You are plath by night and
shoot razzles of beauty through your
poetic cannon, held close enough
to hear your heartbeat and
the etchings of your fingers to be recorded
on bleach white paper.

Great imagery here.. very vivid.

You are a commongirl in the day
when you don’t need to veil your emotions
in quicksilverbullets and zing one-liners
like a Greek god, but we both know
if you ever stopped to look at yourself you would be overwhelmed in a mass
of poeticjusticestarlighthymnalsanddustyshelves
waiting to be removed.

"When you don't need...like a Greek god," that's my favourite part. Very good image. Love the run-on.

And in-between your latenight rendezvous
and sticky Cleopatra julydays, there is a girl
whose own pen has seen black and white etched across
so many pages for so many faces,
but we’re all the same,
after all.

"Sticky Cleopatra julydays" I can feel the oppressive heat.

Not especially fond of the closing two lines, but other than that it was gorgeous. You ought to give away portions of your genius.