Two Steps Behind

You walk two steps ahead
I’ll walk two steps behind
It makes sense for you to lead
And me to follow
Always two steps behind

Still I wait in quiet agony
For the day
That I can walk beside
Instead of always
Two steps behind

The concept has potential but the execution is, to put it bluntly, poor. Be kind to your readers and expand on your ideas a bit, preferably with some more imagery. The repetition dulls your message, so keep the number of "two steps behind" lines to a minimum. Also, make up your mind -- in verse 1, the poet is happy to follow behind; in verse 2, s/he is agonized. Some consistency would be nice.

Basically, this is a nice snapshot, but it doesn't feel complete. Take the idea further, go a little bit deeper, and I'm sure you can improve it no end.

Cheers,
~bubbles

This is a start, but bubble has excellent points.

You walk two steps ahead
I’ll walk two steps behind
It makes sense for you to lead
And me to follow
Always two steps behind repetition isn't neccessary

Still I wait in quiet agony two seconds ago you agreed that you should follow
For the day
That I can walk beside
Instead of always
Two steps behind

There isn't exactly a rhythem to it, the point isn't throughly expressed, and quite frankly it it just too short. Some poems work when they are short, this doesn't. The diction is too simple. Look over bubble's comments again and edit this and expand. The idea is good, but this needs serious work. Don't worry though, the first draft is supposed to be bad. This is a proven Law of Literature.

Oh, and imagry! Imagry is key!

I can relate to this.
It sorta reminds me of something that happened to me.
Nice wording too.
Short and sweet.

I'd have to agree with the first two replies to your work-I think you should lengthen it, expound further on the idea.

But I really do like the idea (especially of the second line) and the emotion itself. Very pretty. Definately don't give up on the piece. I'd like to see what it looks like after you lengthen it some.

i agree with bubblewrapped. It's way too short. It could act as a nice intro. and i think taking out the last line from the first sentence is good.
Expand on why it makes sense for you to follow and why you are unable to walk side by side with him/her.
I really like the idea though, I can relate to the thoughts that make up this poem.

^^
-jazii