Home Games All LiteraryClubs Forums Green Room Poetry Prose Roleplays

[deleted]

Snoink · 2008-01-05T23:31:35Z

EDIT: FREAK is gone! I told you it was for a limited time only. :P Anyway, it's been downloaded 62 times and I've gotten nine critiques, so I am somewhat happy. If you are one of the people who, for some bizarre reason, had downloaded FREAK to your computer and have been working on a critique, feel free to post it. If you're one of the people who came here, hoping to read it, and are thusly disappointed, well... maybe it'll be published soon. Thanks for everything! :D ORIGINAL POST: Okay. This is FREAK. The first seven chapters stink of suckitude, so I'm hoping to get a general comment on this before submitting it (I have fixed most everything else, I think). And, because I am lazy, I am posting it here, where I can put attachments. So! What is it about? When a freak living in an overcrowded slum is sold to a wealthy politician to be a maidservant of his teenage daughter Sadie, she expects life to be easier. But when she begins her service in the house, she quickly realizes she’s trapped within a feuding family. At first she tries to ignore this and continue her job in peace, but when she gets involved in an affair with the politician, the family, already divided, is torn apart. With politics becoming even more intense and Sadie’s impending marriage, it’s up to the freak to bring the family back together again, if she can. The first seven chapters are about 13K words all together. Also, this is in manuscript format. All things that are underlined would be, in the novel, italicized. Thanks a lot in advance!

emeraldmaria

Gender

Points 1090

Reviews 5

Sat Jan 24, 2009 8:21 pm

emeraldmaria says... · Sat Jan 24, 2009 8:21 pm

WHERE IS THE STORY?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?! MY HEAD IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles.'"

Snoink

Supporter

Gender

Points 9692

Reviews 3900

Sun Jan 25, 2009 4:27 am

Snoink says... · Sun Jan 25, 2009 4:27 am

I took it down. ^^

Eek, I don't think I'm looking for any critiques on this story anymore. Or at least not on the beginning chapters. Thanks anyway for those who critiqued!

*Locked*

Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic!

I would always rather be happy than dignified.
— Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

[deleted]

About / Info

Forums & RPG

Literary

Resources