untilted story the rest of chapter 1 and most of chapter 2

3 posts
User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 7
“Meet us at my place in about a hour” said Lyra. So the group parted Mike limped of with Rukia to his locker and Dante and Lyra headed of to Lyra’s house and they waited there for Mike and Rukia to arrive for a while but they got bored so they left a note for Mike and Rukia telling them they went of to the tree at the edge of the village.
“I have not been out here for age’s I think the last time I was here it was the day that you asked me out Dante do you remember?” asked Lyra
“Yeah I think your right it was some thing like a four years ago or some thing like that when I first asked you out right” said Dante.
Lyra smiled and said “that’s right”.
“Bloody hell I was nervous when I did that” replied Dante.
“You were nervous I fort you looked so confident” laughed Lyra.
“Well I was nervous I kept on thinking if I asked you out would it ruin our friendship or if you said yes it might turn into some thing awkward for Mike seeing us all over each other so
before I asked you out I ran it by Mike first to see if he would mind” replied Dante.
“You didn’t did you” asked Lyra.
“I did and he didn’t mind he fort it was a great idea and Mike didn’t mind a bit” laughed Dante.
“Oh my god” screamed Lyra “no wonder you were so nervous”.


“Well it all worked out in the end and it’s has been three years and every thing smooth” laughed Dante. Lyra moved closer to Dante and kissed him on the cheek then she put her lips to his.
“HEY YOU TWO GET A ROOM” shouted Mike.
“Mike be quiet are you two ready to go” shouted Rukia.
“Yeah let me just finish what I was doing, before Mike rudely interrupted me” Lyra shouted back. She turned back to Dante and she kissed him gently on the forehead.
“Do you remember what I told you by the tree this morning?” asked Lyra
Dante smiled and said “I sure do it was, as long as I’m here you have nothing to worry about was that it”
“Ding ding we have a winner, now it’s time for your prize” blushed Lyra and she moved forward and she picked up his hand placed it on her breast on top of her shirt. “you want the rest of this”
“Yes” drooled Dante. Dante’s face was going all red and he wiped his hand across his mouth to stop himself from drooling.
“Well your just going to have to wait until tonight if you want all of me” Lyra said sexually.
Dante said with a disappointed tone “Your no fun”
Dante and Lyra picked up their bags, they brushed off dust that they had in their clothes and ran down the path to where Mike and Rukia where they were waiting.
“Now are you are two to ready to go now” asked Mike.
Dante and Lyra said together “Yes” and the four of them headed down the dusty road towards Landis.

After an hour of walking down the road they could faintly make out tower that is in the centre of Landis, when the group saw this they knew that they were only thirty minutes away from the main gate.
“I’m bored, so let’s have a race the first one there gets any one thing whatever the price paid for them by me, the one who comes in last place has to buy all of us launch at the sand-sea restaurant” said Mike
“Alright I’m in” grinned Lyra
“Me to” grinned Rukia. Dante was lost in fort over his dream, he was going over every single little detail. Dante was also going over that strange power he felt when he was fighting Chad and his gang of thugs, he fort that he was near the answer that he was looking for but it just out of his reach, just when Dante for he had Mike broke his concentration.
“Dante, hey Dante what about you” asked Mike. Dante realized that they were all looking at him.
“What yeah ok I’m in” smiled Dante.
“Are you ok Dante” asked a worried Lyra
“Yeah I’m fine so when is this race starting then” asked Dante, he tried to change the subject as quickly as possible not wanting to worry his friends. They set up the starting point.
“3.…2.….1.….GO!” screamed Mike. Rukia took a early led in the race Mike was coming up fast on her right side while Lyra was directly behind him. Dante was still at starting line.
“Well I think that I’ve given them a good head start” laughed Dante. Dante began to jog after them he felt his body becoming lighter, Dante broke into a run and once again he was blur to the naked eye again. With in a few seconds of starting the race he was already at the town gate and it would be some time for the others to arrive so Dante went and got a drink and a double chilli cheese burger from the street vendor.

Dante could see his friends in the distance and as usual Mike was in last place with Rukia in third and Lyra at second.
“Oi what’s taking you guys so long I’ve been waiting twenty minutes for you guys to show up” bellowed Dante. Mike pitched when he heard Dante’s voice it took him completely from surprise. When the race was over the Dante was the winner, Lyra was second, Rukia was third and Mike was last.
“When did you start running and you must have been running pretty fast to get here just after we started” said Mike with wonder.
“Err I found a short cut that took me directly here” laughed Dante “ any way its time for you to pay Mike you lost the race and now it is time you buy me some thing any thing I want right”
“Yes that’s what I said, now what is it you want?” asked Mike. Dante was thinking hard about what he wanted, a strange fort occurred to him if he could get a weapon he may be able to stop that figure from destroying every thing. “I know what I want now” Dante continued.
“Well what do you want then?” asked Mike
“I want a katana” proclaimed Dante
“Are you sure?” asked Mike
“Yep” replied Dante
“Do you want a real one or a fake one?” asked Mike
“A real one and I get to chose it remember you said whatever the price and after that it’s dinner time” answered Dante
“Fine” said Mike.

So Mike and Dante went into the heart of Landis searching every weapon merchant to find the katana that Dante wanted and the girls went around the clothes and make up shops. In the last store that they searched before they had to meet up with the girls. Dante found the sword that he wanted. It had a dragon design along the handle of the blade, a pentagram hand guard, a black and gold sheath; on the card that told all of the basic information it said that the metal they used for the blade was draconian sky steal, it was folded for three days and nights in order to get all of the impurities out, the maker spent a extra hour honing the blade so it was razor sharp.
“This is it this is the one” gasped Dante
“Wow you sure do have an eye for weapons Dante ok pick it up and lets go and pay for it” replied Mike. Dante picked up the sword and carried it over to the counter. The two of them paid for it then they headed of towards the sand-sea restaurant . The girls were already there they had table by the large oval window which had a great view of the ocean. The girls had nearly spent all the money they had with them on clothes and make up but they got Mike a gift to cheer him up about the incident that happened at collage earlier that day.
“Well did you find the sword that you wanted?” asked Rukia
“I did its in the box now I would get it out here but then we would get kicked out I’ll get it out when we go back into the town” replied Dante
“So have you two decided what you want to eat yet?” asked Mike
“Yeah we’ve already placed our order we were just waiting for you to get here” answered Lyra
“Cool right I will have some ramen and coke” said Dante
“Right and I will some spaghetti and meat balls waiter can we place our order” asked Mike. The waiter came over and took the guy’s order, the girls food arrived at the table just before Dante and Mike’s food got to the table. While Lyra and Rukia were in the bathroom Dante and Mike were looking over desert section of the menu.
“Hey Dante I’ve got some thing I want to tell you” said Mike
“Just so happened that I’ve got some thing to tell you but you go first” replied Dante
“Ok here it is……. I’m going to ask Rukia to marry me” replied Mike
“Dude that’s great” responded Dante. Dante knew this was coming Mike and Rukia have been going out now for four years and just recently they have been getting more and more serious, just last month they brought their own place on the far side of the village is it was only a matter of time.
“Well What was the thing you were going to tell me?” asked Mike
“Well if you must know………………. I’m going to ask Lyra to me marry me as well” grinned Dante.
“You sly old dog was that the only reason why you came to Landis to get the ring?” asked Mike
“HAHAHAH you got me, I’ve got plenty of money so when we are finished here shall with give the girls some extra money so they can go back to their shopping spree while we go around to the jewellers to look for the perfect ring for them?” asked Dante
“Dude you read my mind” replied Mike. There was nothing that the four of them fancied for desert so they paid the bill and left.
“Lyra, Rukia here is some money, you two have probably spent all of yours already meet us at the gate in a couple of hours and Lyra” ordered Dante.
“Yes” asked Lyra.
“Can you look after my sword it cant go into the shops we want to go in if it gets to heavy you can take out of the box and were it across your back it will make it less heavy” pleaded Dante.
“Sure I will can I leave the box with you though it’s quite heavy with nothing in it” asked Lyra.
“Sure, ok we will see you lovely ladies later” grinned Mike. Dante and Mike ran back into the street.
“I wonder what crazy idea those two have in there head this time” laughed Rukia.
“With those two you knows, Dante and Mike have given us some money so it must be some thing important so lets get some thing for us but its also some thing for them” laughed Lyra.

Dante and Mike had checked every single shop that sells engagement rings and not one has the one that they thing is perfect for the two girls. When all hope seemed lost they found the perfect rings. The one that Mike was getting was a ring made out pure sapphire gem sitting in a silver base.
“This one looks perfect for Rukia what do you think?” asked Mike.
“It looks perfect you go pay for it while I try and find one for Lyra” answered Dante. While Mike went of to pay for his ring, Dante found the perfect one for Lyra. The gem was made out of a very rare rainbow stone and it was in a base of white gold. “This is perfect” praised Dante, Dante snatched up the ring and headed up to the counter.
“That will be £250,000 please” asked the shop keep.
“Here you go and thanks” replied Dante.
“Your welcome sir” smiled the shop keep. Dante met up with Mike just down the street who was getting them both a drink.
“Well did you find one for Lyra Dante?” asked Mike. Dante opened the ring box and Mikes jaw just drooped. “Your one lucky bugger to find one with a rainbow stone” continued Mike he chucked a drink at Dante, the drinks were opened at the same time and Dante said “Tell me some thing I don’t know”.

Dante and Mike had about ten minutes until they were supposed to meet the girls at the gate and begin the trek home. They managed to get there with five seconds to spare Lyra and Rukia were sitting on a bench by the food vendor waiting for them.
“There you are you two ready to go” asked Lyra “here’s your sword Dante”
“Thanks Lyra lets get going” replied Dante. Dante chucked away the case he got with the sword and fastened the sword to the back of his shorts.
“Now it’s the hard part, thinking of how to ask them” whispered Mike. Dante nodded in agreement.
“What are you two whispering about” asked Rukia
Dante and Mike said together “Nothing”.

The four of them were half way home when dusk broke. They could hear the creatures of the wild howling and biting in the distance. Dante’s free hand was always on the hilt of his katana and his other hand was being squeezed tightly Lyra.
“Its ok nothing is going to hurt you while I’m here Lyra ok” calmly said Dante “it goes for you to as well”. They were making good time in getting home until they heard the sound of twigs snapping in the woods to the left of them. Dante unsheathed his katana it glowed in the setting sun a brilliant glow surrounded the blade Dante could see every thing very clearly.
“There is defiantly some thing following us in those woods but don’t worry as soon as we get a little closer to the village it should back of” whispered Dante the group nodded in silence. They were ten minutes away from the village when the twigs were being snapped a lot faster now it meant that whatever was following them it was speeding up.

“You three head into the village now, fetch one of the guards the creature following us is picking up speed” ordered Dante.
“How can you tell that its still there I have not heard any thing for a while now” replied Mike
“I can feel it getting closer, do as I say go to the village and fetch the guards I will hold it off” Replied Dante. Dante saw the look in Lyra ’s eyes she wanted to stay behind to help him.
“Lyra go with Mike and Rukia I’ll be fine I wont even get a scratch ok” smiled Dante she nodded and ran of after Mike and Rukia.

Dante could feel the beast getting closer and closer by the second then it just stooped moving.
“Whatever you are come out from the shadows of the tree’s and fight me” shouted Dante. The creature jumped out of the tree line. It looked like some sort of wolf but it had some characteristics of a sand wyvern. Its wings were mangled they had deep cuts along the flight membranes of the wings. Its tail was shredded and it looked like it could fall off at any moment. The head of creature was so badly slashed and around the eyes of beast were so badly damaged that it has to rely on its sense smell and hearing.
“Dude you sure are one fugly looking beastie aren’t you” laughed Dante.
“Time to die Dante” croaked the beast. Dante froze on the spot that voice was the same one that the figure in his dream had. “My master is coming for you Dante he will be here in two day’s but I cant wait that long to have a chance to kill you now die” continued the beast. Dante snapped back to reality Dante relaxed his grip around his katana because he was starting to hurt his hand by gripping it to hard.
“Is that so, well come get some if you think you have the balls” snapped Dante. The creature grinned and jumped at Dante throat, Dante ducked and grabbed one the creatures wings and cleaved it of with his blade. The creatures howls of pain could be heard all over the countryside it was shaking the trees piercing it to the centre of their being.
“You little piece of pond scum, now I’m angry” howled the beast.
“Was that supposed to be a insult, my baby sister is 4 years old and she has got better insults then that” mocked Dante. The creature lost its temper, a red mist descended over its sense’s and began to attack with such a ferocity that even when Dante dodged the attacks his clothes were still being shred to pieces. “I don’t think insulting it was a good idea” sighed Dante. With each successful blow that Dante landed the glow around Dante’s blade was getting brighter and brighter, Dante recognised the power that his katana was giving off it was same power that he felt while fighting Chad and it was same power he felt in his legs during the race. The creature stopped attacking it felt the power that Dante and his blade was giving off.
“Time to finish this fight, I‘m getting tired” yawned Dante. Dante brought his blade around and starting running straight towards the best just before Dante made impact he disappeared.
“Where are you, what are you?” shouted the beast. The beast was scanning around with his senses trying to find Dante.
“Why I’m on your back” grinned Dante “time to end this” Dante stood up on the creatures back he tried to focus that power of his into the blade just when the creature was going to knock him off his back, Dante jumped in the air his eyes snapped open they were glowing a strange golden glow. Dante was still channelling his power into the blade, the glow of the blade began pulsing more and rapidly. The creature jumped into the air and just when the creature was going to make impact, Dante disappeared again and he reappeared directly above the creature.
“Now fare well, fierce dragon” howled Dante. The dragon mark on his handle glowed red he slashed his blade downwards towards the creature and a giant red dragon came roaring from the edge of his blade the dragon opened its mouth and engulfed the creature. Dante landed back on the ground and he sheathed his blade. Dante looked at the smoking carcass of the creature.
Dante smiled and said “Cool”, then he collapsed onto the ground he could hear the guards footsteps getting closer and closer. Dante could hear Lyra screaming for him to be ok and not to be hurt. Dante gathered his strength and stood up and made his way to the sound of Lyra’s voice.
“DANTE, Dante are you hurt” screamed Lyra.
“Lyra I’m fine, its like I said I didn’t even get a scratch” smiled Dante. Lyra sobbed into Dante arms, Mike and Rukia were standing just behind Lyra. While a medical guard was checking Dante over the other guards were checking out the corpse of the creature.
“What do you think it is sir?” asked the vice captain .
“I have no idea I have never seen any thing like it. I’m going to go and ask Dante about the creature and what it looked before it was shredded” replied the captain of the guard. The captain made his way to the other side of the road where the medical guard was treating Dante.
“Dante how come you have no wounds, your clothes are slashed every where” asked the medical guard.
“Just lucky I guess” laughed Dante. Lyra was still crying into Dante’s arms.
“It looked like that katana I got you came in handy then” laughed Mike.
“You bet” grinned Dante. The captain was making is way over to Dante when the creature stirred.
“You little brat did you think you would kill me with attack of yours DANTE” howled the beast.
“Well I hoped it would, captain tell your guards to back away from it they’re no match for it and neither are you” ordered Dante. Dante stood up and picked up his blade. “Lyra go and wait by Mike and Rukia this shouldn’t take too long”. Dante unsheathed his blade and he had the blade in his right hand and the sheath in the other one.
“Right are you ready for round two” asked Dante.
“Sure, this time I’m not holding back” sneered the beast. The guards that in front of the beast were to scared to move the creature lunged towards the guards it was all over in a second the guards were going rigged their breathing was becoming erratic, then their bodies became still then they were all at peace. Dante’s rage had reached it peek glow around his sword and sheaf was glowing brighter and brighter, a similar glow was forming around Dante as well.
“Get back from here now you might get caught in the cross fire” howled Dante. Every body that was still able to move ran behind Dante until they could only see the glow of his blade and the glow that Dante was giving off as well. The creature charged towards Dante tearing at him left and right, Dante’s clothes were getting another thrashing, Dante’s shirt was all but tatter’s now, so he ripped of his shirt.
“I’m In hurry so it’s time for you to go down to hell” shouted Dante. Dante brought the sheath to the end of the blades handle and it clicked together.
“Grand roar” shouted Dante. Dante started to spin his extended blade around faster and faster the energy that was in these to separate things merged into one unified power. The blade was getting faster and faster still.
“Now release” howled Dante and the dragon on the handle of the blade was turning silver. A giant fire wyvern appeared and it open its giant flaming maw and unleashed a tremendous roar that included a golden flame.
“Crap I cant doge it, I don’t have enough energy to move dam you Dante” screamed the beast. The flames engulfed the beast the flames were so strong that the creature died almost instantly it was still moving among the flames, Dante separated the sheath from the blade and the flames disappeared instantly. The creature was still moving so Dante brought his blade around and shouted “Fierce dragon” he slashed the blade down over the creatures head and at last the fight was over.
“Phew, at last it’s over” sighed Dante. He put his blade away and started walking back to the village.
“Some things coming” shouted the tower guard. Mike, Lyra and Rukia turned around to the village gate.
“Stop it, it might be Dante” shouted Mike.
“Your dam right Mike, stop its me Dante” shouted Dante.
“Dante are you hurt?” asked Rukia.
“No I’m not hurt, just sore from dodging the creatures attack” replied Dante. Lyra could not speak a word but Dante could tell from her face what she was going to say.
“Lyra don’t worry I’ll never frighten you again and I’m sorry for shouting at you its just that I did not want you to get hurt” gasped Dante.

After answering the captains questions he then gave Dante permission to carry his sword at all time in case a creature like that ever showed up again. Mike and Rukia went back to their apartment, Dante and Lyra went back to Dante’s place. Dante and Lyra made their way to Dante’s room.
“Now Its time for you to collect your prize, I’ll be back in ten minutes I need to get changed into the special thing I brought in Landis for you and get out of those dusty clothes Dante their filthy” ordered Lyra.
“Yes sir” saluted Dante. Lyra laughed at Dante when he saluted her. After ten minutes Lyra came back in.
“Oh mama, am I in heaven” drooled Dante. Lyra was wearing a lace and silk lingerie with tassels coming down from the back of her top.
“Your not yet but you will be soon” blushed Lyra. She pushed Dante down onto his bed and loosened the tassels that were tied around her waist. Lyra drooped the tassels onto the floor and took of the lingerie top off and threw that to the floor as well. Her body slid over Dante’s like a snake, her lips touched his flesh ever so softly nursing his sore parts from the creature swiped at him.
“How’s that are all your sore’s and worries going away Dante?” asked Lyra.
“Yes now let me collect the bonus prize” replied Dante. Dante flipped Lyra onto her back, Lyra was blushing and her face was getting more and more red with every passing second. His lips caressed her flesh, Lyra’s body was bending with pleasure every single kiss that Dante gave her made her pleasure receptors were going wild. Lyra was ready for Dante now and he could tell, he ripped of her lingerie panties and chucked them over his shoulder and with the warm up’s done it was time for the real thing. Dante opened Lyra’s legs, he climbed up her body until his face was next to hers. Lyra’s body was calling out to Dante’s, then they became one Dante slid his penis into to Lyra’s warm, damp clit and the pleasure that the two of them felt made the whole world stand still to them. They made love until the early hours of the morning.
“Dante what has gotten into you we’ve never made love for that long before?” wheezed Lyra.
“Nothing has gotten into me but I got into you” laughed Dante.
“Very funny but you really had me worried when you starting glowing while fighting that strange creature” said Lyra.
“I’m sorry about that but I will explain it all in the morning but for now lets get some sleep” yawned Dante.
“Ok” yawned Lyra. They snuggled down and went to sleep.

“Dam that Dante killing one of my strongest minions I’ll make him pay and I know just how to do it, Espada come here” screamed the figure.
“Yes my lord” said the Espada.
“Send word to my generals to make the army ready immediately because in a day’s time were going to hunt down the child know as Dante” howled the figure. The Espada bowed and left his master to plan the attack in peace.

Dante found it hard to get to sleep he kept thinking about his fight with the creature, he kept on asking himself questions like: where did that power come from?, how did I do those moves? And how did I know what to say in order for those moves to work?. These question kept him awake for some time, but after a while of contemplating the answers to those question sleep came at last. Dante tossed and turn in his sleep, it was just like before he was enjoying a great dream and then it turned into that hellish place once again but this time it was different. The figure in the wind’s shadow had brought his army with him it had already captured his friends and Lyra and it left its army to finish the job. Dante was screaming from the carnage that was in the dream then he heard a familiar voice saying “Dante wake up, wake up its just a dream” Dante’s eyes snapped open and he hugged Lyra tightly as if he never wanted to let go.
“Dante what’s wrong?” asked Lyra.
“I had the same dream again but it was worse the figure had got its army this time and there was so much blood shed and carnage around me there it made me scream” sighed Dante.
“Its alright its over now” said Lyra in a comforting voice.
“Tomorrow I’m telling you every thing about the fight and what the creature said to me” shakily said Dante. It took Lyra and Dante a while but sleep came to them again. This time Dante had no hellish dream. just one of him, Mike, Lyra and Rukia sitting and talking underneath the branches of the tree at the edge of the village.

Espada: weak demon that has no will of its own.


































Chapter 2


It was 9:OO o’clock in the morning when Dante started to stir, Lyra was already up making breakfast by the way things were smelling it was bacon and eggs. Dante got out of bed, had a shower and got dressed then he made his was into the kitchen.
“Good morning sweet thing” yawned Dante and Dante slid along the floor and picked up Lyra and they twirled around on the spot for a few seconds.
“Some ones in a good mood this morning” giggled Lyra.
“You bet, I just spent the night with the most beautiful girl in the planet and now I’m going to ask you some thing which could make or break our day” sighed Dante.
“You flatter, so what this thing that your going to ask me then hot shot?” asked Lyra.
“Hang on sec I’ll be right back” smiled Dante and he darted back to his bedroom to get the ring. “Got it” Dante rushed back to the kitchen where Lyra was still making breakfast.
“Back” shouted Dante.
“Well what is it that you were going to ask me then?” asked Lyra.
“Ok close your eyes” asked Dante.
“Ok” replied Lyra.
“Now open them” said Dante. Lyra opened her eyes and Dante was on one knee with the ring box in his hand. “Lyra will you marry me?” asked Dante.
“Err ….. Of course, yes I will marry you Dante” screamed Lyra. Dante put the ring on Lyra’s finger.
“Oh Dante its beautiful is this a rainbow stone?” asked Lyra.
“Yeah when comes to you nothing is too expensive” replied Dante.
“Your so sweet” smiled Lyra
“Guess what?” asked Dante.
“What” sobbed Lyra.
“Mike is asking Rukia to marry him as well” laughed Dante.
“Your joking?” asked Lyra.
“No” replied Dante.
“Is that why you gave me and Rukia some money so we could back to clothes shopping while you went looking for the rings?” asked Lyra. Dante smiled and Lyra leapt up at him.
“Dante you sly dog, I love you” blushed Lyra.
“I love you to” smirked Dante. Dante kissed her on the forehead. They ate their breakfast while looking into each others eye never breaking the connection between them,
“Do you remember what I said night Lyra about the creature and what it said to me?” asked Dante.
“Yes” replied Lyra.
“When do you want me to tell you then?” asked Dante.
“How about when we finished collage for the day at noon when we are with Mike and Rukia I’m sure they have a few questions for you as well” replied Lyra .
“I’m going to go have a shower now, Dante can you go to my place quickly and get some fresh clothes for me please?” asked Lyra.
“Sure all you have to do is ask” replied Dante “is there any thing in particular that you want me to get from the shop while I’m getting your clothes?” asked Dante.
“Yes can you get me a coke and don’t forget to take your sword” replied Lyra.

Dante went back to his room and got dressed, he put on a blue t-shirt with a baggy lose shirt on top of that, then Dante went and grabbed his dark blue jeans and pulled them on, he pulled on his white trainers. Grabbed his sword and tied it to the back of his jeans, Dante grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder and headed to the front door.
“I’m going now I’ll be back soon” shouted Dante.
“Ok bye” shouted Lyra “and remember bring my clothes back Dante”.
“Ok” shouted Dante. Dante headed out into the village and made his way towards Lyra’s house first. Word about Dante’s fight with the creature had spread fast around the village, some of the villagers came up to Dante and asked him how he was holding up and if he was hurt, Dante thanked them for their concern and he told them that he was fine. It didn’t take that long for Dante to get to Lyra’s house, Dante went up to the front door and knocked after a few minutes of waiting some one was heading towards the front door.
“Who is it?” asked the voice.
“Its Dante Lyra sent to fetch some fresh clothes for her” replied Dante. The front door opened and her mum was smiling at him. Lyra’s mum is 32 years old, she has long dark blond hair and you can tell by looking at her that this is where Lyra gets her great looks from. Lyra’s mum is wearing a simple long black dress on with some black slipper’s on as well.
“Oh Dante come on in, you can wait in the kitchen while I fetch her clothes for you” grinned Lyra’s mum.
“Thanks mam” smiled Dante. Dante followed Lyra’s mum through the house, Dante took his shoe’s of and untied his sword and left them by the front door. Then Dante followed Lyra’s mum into the kitchen.
“Would like any thing to eat while you wait?” asked Lyra’s mum.
“No thank you I just had some breakfast, can I get a glass of water through?” asked Dante, “And there’s some thing that either me or Lyra is going to announce soon but I don’t think she would mid if I told you”.
“Sure you can have a glass of water and what is this announcement that your going to make?” asked Lyra’s mum.
“I asked Lyra to marry me and she said yes” smiled Dante. Lyra’s mum screamed and ran around the kitchen counter and hugged Dante.
“Oh that’s great, I’m so happy for you” cried Lyra’s mum she kissed him on the cheek.
“I always hoped that you two would end up together forever when you started going out” whimpered Lyra’s mum. She left the kitchen to go and get Lyra’s clothes, Dante went and got a cup down from the shelf and then he turned on the tap and water flowed into the cup. Dante downed the water with one gulp, Lyra’s mum came back into the kitchen and put Lyra’s clothes down on the table, then she went back out of the kitchen to fetch a bag to put them in.
“Have you told your parents and your little sister yet?” asked Lyra’s mum.
“No not yet, their still on holiday they get back this afternoon by boat it stops by Landis I’m meeting them there at the docks” replied Dante.
“That is going to be one hell of a welcome home surprise” laughed Lyra’s mum.
“It sure is, thanks for the drink and the clothes but I need to get these back to Lyra or there’s going to a funeral instead of a wedding” sighed Dante. Lyra’s mum laughed.
“True so true any way thanks for the wedding news, see you later Dante” laughed Lyra’s mum. Dante thanked her again for the drink and for the clothes, Dante made his way back to the front door he put his trainers back on and retied the sword to the back of jeans and opened the front door and left Lyra’s house.

Collage was going to start in a hours time so Dante had to run to the shop to get a couple cans of coke for himself and Lyra. By the time Dante got back home collage was going to start in half an hours time.
“I’m back” shouted Dante “I got your clothes and your coke as well”.
“What to you so long Dante?” asked Lyra.
“It was your mums fault” replied Dante. Dante chucked the clothes at Lyra and lay down on his bed while she was getting dressed.
“How so?” asked Lyra.
“Well she was screaming crying and laughing” replied Dante.
“Why was she crying?” asked Lyra. Lyra looked at Dante’s face and she knew in a instant what he had done.
“You told her didn’t you, was she happy or was she sad?” asked Lyra.
“Yes I told her and she was really happy she told me this as well. She told me that when we just started going out she hoped that we would end up together forever” replied Dante.
“She really said that?” asked Lyra. Dante nodded, Lyra was nearly finished getting dressed now, she had put on her lose blue T-shirt , her light blue jeans and her white trainers. Lyra was just finishing her hair when Dante looked at the clock collage was starting in a few minutes.
“Come on we had better get going or were going to be late” sighed Dante.
“Your right lets go” replied Lyra. Lyra packed up her clothes from yesterday into the bag the other clothes came in. Dante locked up the house then the two of them set of for collage.

Dante and Lyra just made it for their media lesson today, Mike had saved them a couple seats by the window. Dante and Lyra put their bags down on the desk, then Dante untied the sword from the back of jeans and placed on the table next to his bag. Then the teacher came in.
“Class book’s out bags to the floor and Dante bring your sword here and put it on my desk” snapped the teacher.
“Yes sir” replied Dante. He got out of his seat and picked up the sword all of the class watching him while he was making his way to the front of the class. Dante placed his sword on the teacher desk and when he was about to return to his seat the teacher stopped him.
“Now I’m assume that all of you have heard about the fight that Dante had with the creature and how he was able to kill it while the specially trained guards could not. So instead of us recapping the work that we did last year I thought we could listen to Dante and he could tell us about his fight with the creature” stated the teacher “Dante if you please”. Dante looked around the class and all of their attention was on him, he looked at Lyra and Mike and both of them mouthed the words “tell them every thing”, Lyra mouthed the words “don’t mention the stuff that the creature said to you” Dante nodded.
“Sir If you don’t mind could I tell the class and you about the fight outside its to stuffy in here and so I could demonstrate some of the techniques I used with my sword?” asked Dante.
“Well I don’t see why not, where shall we go to the tree in the middle of the field?” asked the teacher. Dante nodded. “Ok class you can leave your bags here meet at the tree in fifth teen minutes”. Dante picked his sword back up and retied it to his jeans, he made his back to the table where Mike and Lyra were waiting for him.
“I’m jus going to go and clean the blood of my sword you two go and wait by the tree I’ll be there soon” said Dante.
“Are you going to be alright telling them about the fight?” asked Lyra.
“I’ll be fine and don’t worry I wont mention any thing of the information that the creature gave me and I will tell you, Mike and Rukia at launch ok” replied Dante the two of them nodded and left the classroom with Dante following behind them. Dante went to the boys bathroom and unsheathed his sword, turned on the hot tap then he put his blade underneath it and the piping hot water washed away the creature’s rank blood from his sword.

When fifth teen minutes had pasted the whole class sitting in the shade of the tree, they were just waiting for Dante to get there so they could listen to him giving them every single little detail of the fight. The wind blew across the field blowing around the dust and there was Dante walking towards them.
“Ok Dante now that your finally here lets begin from the start, can you describe to us what the creature looked like?” asked the teacher.
“Ok well the creature looked like a wolf but it also had the characteristics of a sand wyvern. Its wings were mangled they had deep cuts along the flight membranes of the wings. Its tail was shredded and it looked like it could fall off at any moment. The head of creature was so badly slashed and around the eyes of beast were so badly damaged that it has to rely on its sense smell and hearing.” explained Dante.
“How can it look like a wolf and a sand wyvern?” asked one the class.
“I don’t know but it had the body of a wolf it had a head, wings, legs and tail of a sand wyvern” answered Dante.
“Ok next question” said Dante. Lots of hands shot into the air they all wanted to quiz Dante about the creature. “Yes you next to Mike, sorry I forgot what your name was”
“Can you show us some of the moves that you used to kill it?” asked the kid.
“Is it ok by you sir” asked Dante. The teacher nodded.
“Very well you may want to back up all of you, these moves are very dangerous and I’m not quite sure how to make them work and I also need absolute silence” ordered Dante. All of the class moved back until they were right up to the tree’s trunk. “Yeah that’s good you wont get in the way there” grinned Dante. Dante backed up a little from the tree and unsheathed his sword, the blade absorbed the light from the sun and began to glow. The power in the blade was beginning to grow and grow.
“Now, lets get down to business” shouted Dante. The dragon on the handle began to glow red, the blade did as well. “Fierce dragon” he brought the blade around and slashed upwards towards the sky a giant red dragon came roaring from the edge of his blade the dragon turned around in the sky and it landed behind Dante, then it faced the class and winked and with that it disappeared in a flash.
“WOW now that was cool” gasped Mike.
“Well that was the first one, now does any one want to see the second move I used against it?” asked Dante, every hand in the class was in the air the first hand to go up was Mike after him it was Lyra.
“Very well but first I need to cut a branch of the tree” laughed Dante. Dante jumped into the air and he cleaved a branch of the tree and threw it out over the field. Dante untied the sheath from his jeans and brought it around to his blades handle and it snapped together. The sheath and the blade began to glow.
“ NOW, grand roar” shouted Dante. Dante started to spin his extended blade around faster and faster the energy that was in these to separate things merged into one unified power. The blade was getting faster and faster still.
“Now release” howled Dante and the dragon on the handle of the blade was turning silver. A giant fire wyvern appeared and it open its giant flaming maw and unleashed a tremendous roar that included a golden flame. It was heading directly towards the falling branch, the branch burst into flames and all that was left was a pile of smoking cinders on the ground.
“Wow now that was super cool” shouted Mike. The bell rang for the end of the class.
“Ok class that’s it for today we will have to listen to the rest of Dante’s story another time” said the teacher. “Go and collect your bags from the classroom and I’ll see you the same time next week”. Dante put his sword away and walked over to where Mike and Lyra were waiting for him.
“I bet you have a lot of questions for me Mike, Rukia to most likely and I know that Lyra does?” asked Dante.
“I sure do so, lets go back to my place we can talk there and Rukia didn’t have to come into day so she is probably making some launch now” replied Mike. The three of them made there way back to the classroom to collect their bags, then they made their to Mike’s place where Rukia was making launch.
It took Dante, Mike and Lyra 10 minutes to get Mike’s place. When they got there the four of them had their launch first, then it was time for the questions and the first one was from Rukia.
“Dante when you fighting the creature was it your first time using a sword?” asked Rukia.
“Yeah it was I thought that I didn’t stand a chance but lately I feel this power build up inside me when I get angry or when I get scared, but I felt the same power in my sword so I just went with my instincts and it worked” replied Dante. “Ok next question”
“I have a question for you Dante” said Mike.
“Ok shoot” smiled Dante.
“What did the creature say to you during the fight?” asked Mike.
“Ok do you remember the dream I told you about” replied Dante.
“Yeah you said some figure in the wind killed every body and kidnapped me, Rukia and Lyra” said Mike.
“The voice of the creature I fought and the figure in the wind was exactly the same and it told me that it’s master was coming in two day’s, so if what its says is true the figure will be here tomorrow afternoon” sighed Dante.
“Oh man, Dante don’t tell me you believe it?” asked Rukia.
“I’m not sure, but for I’m going to put it out of my mind” replied Dante.
“Good” said Lyra.
“Dante did you ask Lyra if she will, you know?” asked Mike. Dante and Lyra looked at each and Dante mouthed the words “You tell them”. Rukia was looking a bit confused so Mike whispered in her ear what he was taking about and her face lit up with hope all over her face.
“Yes Dante asked me to marry him this morning and I said yes” grinned Lyra. Rukia screamed and she up to Lyra and Dante an hugged them both.
“How did he ask you” asked Rukia.
“I was making breakfast when Dante came in and he picked me up and we twirled around on the spot, then he said I’ve got some thing to ask you which could make or break our day. He rushed out of the kitchen to his room to fetch the ring, when he came back in he asked me to close my eyes.” explained Lyra. She had to stop for a minute so she could a drink.
“Then what?” asked Rukia.
“Dante got down on one knee and said Lyra will you marry me and I said yes” blushed Lyra. Lyra showed the ring to Rukia.
“Wow a rainbow stone Dante you spoil her” said Rukia.
“Mike have you asked Rukia the same thing yet” whispered Dante.
“No not yet I’m going to ask her in a minute” answered Mike.
“Good luck mate” whispered Dante.
“Rukia can I speak you in the kitchen for a minute please?” asked Mike.
“Sure” replied Rukia. Lyra looked over Dante and he winked at her and mouthed the words.
“He is going to ask her now” mouthed Dante.
“Yay” whispered Lyra. There was a minute of silence and then their was scream coming from the kitchen Dante and Lyra jumped up and ran into the kitchen to see what was wrong.
“Yes of course I will” screamed Rukia. Rukia turned around and hugged Lyra and Dante so tightly it looked like they were going to burst, the two of them sure Mike and he mouthed to Dante “act natural” Dante winked to show he understood what Mike asked.
“Mike just asked me to marry him” screamed Rukia.
“Oh, that’s great isn’t Dante?” smiled Lyra.
“Yeah it is” laughed Dante. Rukia let go and looked at the two them, Dante and Lyra looked at each other and then at Rukia they smiled sheepishly.
“You two knew that Mike was going to ask me to marry him, didn’t you?” asked Rukia.
“Us no, how could we know that Mike was going to ask you to marry him” grinned Lyra. She looked at Dante and the burst out laughing. “Dante told me this morning that Mike was going to ask you, this is the reason why Dante gave us some money yesterday so they could go buy the rings with out us knowing”.
“Who knew that Mike was that smart” laughed Rukia.

They continued talking for some time but it was nearing 2:00 o’clock.
“I’ve got to get going down to the port in Landis to meet my mum, dad and little sis at the docks” sighed Dante.
“Wait up Dante we will go with you” said Mike
“Are you sure about that, don’t you remember what happened the last time the four of us went to Landis?” asked Dante.
“Of course we do, but we cant let you go down there alone who’s going to protect you from your parents when they find out” stated Lyra.
“I forgot about that and even this sword wont be able to stop them, ok you can come” sighed Dante.
“This time I’m going there on my motor bike are you going to use yours Mike it will save a lot of time?” asked Dante.
“Sure don’t see why not we’ll meet you by village gate in 20 minutes Dante” said Mike. Dante nodded, Lyra and Dante picked up their bags and Dante sword and made their way to the door.
“I’ll meet you at the gate as well Dante I’m just going to take my stuff home” said Lyra.
“Ok” said Dante. Lyra came up to him and kissed him on the cheek.
“Are you worried about some thing?” asked Lyra.
“Yeah I’m” replied Dante.
“What about?” asked Lyra.
“I can just imagine what my mums going to do when we tell her that we’re getting married and so are Mike and Rukia it scare’s me” shivered Dante.
Lyra laughed and said “well worry about that when its going to happen as for now go and fetch your bike I’ll see you by the gate” she kissed Dante again and walked down the side street that led to her house. Dante rushed of to his house, he chucked his bag into his room grabbed the keys to his bike. Dante rushed down to his garage behind the house, Dante tied his sword to the side of the bike and detached the side car.
When Dante arrived at the gate Mike, Lyra and Rukia were waiting for him, Rukia was sitting behind Mike and Lyra made her way over to Dante and sat down behind him.
“You ready to go?” asked Dante.
“Yep” replied Mike. Mike and Rukia went off first Dante turned around to Lyra.
“Hold on tight Lyra” said Dante. Lyra wrapped her arms around Dante’s chest and put her on his back.
“I always will” smiled Lyra. They chased after Mike and Rukia, the bike kicking up the roads dust and leaving a dust cloud floating just above the ground. It did not take that long for Dante and Lyra to catch up with the other two, they were just coming up on the place where Dante and the creature fought. The guards put up a monument in order of the dead guards memory and thanking Dante for slaying the creature.
“Great my parents are going to love this” sighed Dante.
some things in life r worth frigthing for




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 580
Reviews 70
Meet us at my place in about a hour” said Lyra. So the group parted Mike limped of with Rukia to his locker and Dante and Lyra headed of to Lyra’s house and they waited there for Mike and Rukia to arrive for a while but they got bored so they left a note for Mike and Rukia telling them they went of to the tree at the edge of the village.


This part i think as too much naming
you say Lyra Mike and RUkia ALOT
try using some pronouns instead of there names alot

I'm a nooby so i might be wrong!
lol




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 104
I haven't read through this yet, so i shall post another comment when i do. At a glance, when you break a line to put speach, for example;

...they went of to the tree at the edge of the village.
“I have not been out here for age’s... do you remember?” asked Lyra
“Yeah I think your right... I first asked you out right” said Dante.

it still counts as separate paragraphs, so you should still leave a line spacing.

...they went of to the tree at the edge of the village.

“I have not been out here for age’s... do you remember?” asked Lyra

“Yeah I think your right... I first asked you out right” said Dante.

the huge blocks (even though they are conversations) are a daunting prospect.

Also 'the rest of chapter one and most of chapter two'. Oh dear. It's highly recomnmended that you shorten your chapters, maybe break them up, and post one full chapter at a time. If you write two at once, make two separate posts. That way the chapters are more complete as chapters, rather than bits and pieces in different posts. It's very disruptive.

Or another idea is to move this two 'advanced critiques' and keep posting on one thread. This post alone is over 8000 words, so that's where it would be best.

Try thinking over what i've said for now.
I shall track down the rest of chapter one and upload as an advanced critique.



Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.
— William James