Roses revived(the rejection)

3 posts
Random avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 8
the author has deleted his account
Last edited by littlezeus92 on Wed Jan 02, 2008 3:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 107
Okay! Good job, the rhymes were awesome.

Now I must point out some things that need to be fixed:

You need to capitalize! And you need to use puncuation!

and you cant but these roses


I think 'but' is supposed to be 'buy'

and if you look hard
you might have some luck
you could find it growing wildly
and have it with a little pluck


The last stanza sounded a little choppy to me, but that's just my opinion.

(Not trying to be harsh. Overall, good job.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 340
Reviews 37
I love your poem! there are a few puncuation, capitalization, and spelling errors, but the message is really deep and sweet. keep posting, i'd love to read more!


jenni321



how can i live laugh love in these conditions
— Orion42