This is my first posted work. It's on the longer side, but it's sweet. Please tell me that this makes you laugh. (Or not.)
* * *
"A Journey to the Library"
On a chilly November day, a group
Of AP science students were on route
To the library, to research a subject
They chose to work on for their science project.
The gusty air bit at all exposed skin,
Like bees fighting bears who want to win.
Cars rush by like boats on a black river
Between concrete banks, just a sliver
In a world ruled by physics, the science
That these four students study with patience.
Among them was a slacker, who doesn’t take
Notes in Schilling’s class, nor tries to stay awake.
He just rests his head, saving energy
For an after school speech and debate orgy.
He finds it inconvenient to shave,
Or to fight his crazy Cheetos crave,
Which is evident by the cheesy spots
On a bizarre handkerchief that he brought.
He may be a lazy bum, but he dreams
Of getting some job that vomits money in streams.
He rolls his eyes at the cheerful girl, who
Loves life and sun, and has nothing to do
But to enjoy every waking moment,
Such as the blustery chill’s hateful movement.
No one knew that this obsession started
After her mother’s death and after she darted
From shadows of depression to a light
Of smiling at frozen flowers, that she might
Warm the world with optimism renewed,
In a world of violence and global feud.
Then there’s that Asian sophomore genius
Who thinks that he’s so smart and devious
For fooling everyone to believe that.
He’s not a hard worker, just a lying bat.
He gets his econ. homework done
By another Asian fellow at MUN;
He never does his work but watches TV,
Since late night comedies are fun, you see.
But sometimes he really reads textbooks, lest
There might be a surprise calculus test.
The last member was a hipster fool
Who’s so eccentric, thinking he’s cool
With his Darkstar t-shirt, but he’s at the tip
Of suffering under the wind’s sharp whip.
War with conformity defines his life,
As laughter from judgers stab him like a knife.
People snicker at his absurd fashion,
Or at his geeky Star Trek passion.
But he and his crew want to feel cool with the way
They finished their project early at the library that day.
* * *
What literary features and author's craft do you see? Can you guess who's style I'm mimicking? (This guy's more influential to English literature than Shakespeare ever was.)
) and sometimes getting to know people can help so maybe create an introductory thread in the welcome forum? Then there's always the bonus of adding a rating to your pieces which means it gets shown on the home page for a limited time. Anyway, on to the critique...
