Home Games All LiteraryClubs Events Forums Green Room Poetry Prose Roleplays

Why you can’t date my little Princess Form Letter

nickelpickle · 2005-04-11T20:30:38Z

Abolutely hilarious...if you dont get it, it is a way for dads to break up with their daughters bfs for their daughtesr.... Why you can’t date my little Princess Form Letter Dear _______________, I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening come available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition: (Check those that apply) 1. ___Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine my daughter taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my grandchildren to it. 2. ___Your first name is objectionable. It's just not something I can picture my daughter yelling out in a fit of rage. 3. ___The fact that our first dining experience to date has left MY wallet a little lighter and YOUR pants a little tighter 4. ___Your social class (or lack there of) is unacceptable i.e. you’re the village idiot or court jester and she is my Princess. 5. ___You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me more than one about my daughter. 6. ___Your constant emailing shows me you have TOO much time on your hands 7. ___Your legs are skinnier than my daughters. You can FIT into her pants 8. ___You're too short. Any son that she produced would inevitably be beaten up repeatedly at recess. 9. ___You're too tall. I'm developing a chronic neck condition from trying to look you in the eye. 10. ___You have a hairy back. 11. ___I find your inability to fix my daughters car extraordinarily unappealing. 12. ___The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable. 13. ___The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation. 14. ___You still live with your parents. 15. ___Although I do enjoy the X-Files, I find your wardrobe of Star Trek uniforms a little disconcerting. 16. ___Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend lead me to suspect that you are some sort of psychotic stalker. 17. ___Your ability to belch the alphabet is not a trait that I am seeking in a long term partner for my princess. 18. ___Your height is out of proportion to your weight. If you should, however, happen to gain the necessary 17 vertical inches, please resubmit your application. 19. ___You referred to me as either dude, man, partner, pops, or all of the above, and or when you called me “Sir”, your tone was insincere 20. ___ She is way out of your league; set your sights lower next time. Sincerely, _________________________________ Comments______________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________

QiGuaiGongFu

Gender

Points 890

Reviews 67

Wed Apr 27, 2005 6:00 am

QiGuaiGongFu says... · Wed Apr 27, 2005 6:00 am

AHH!!! YOU SAID SHE LIKED ME!!! AHH!!!!! like me, as a person, was able to make that negative! AHH!! IM SCARED!

Keep this far from the reach of Galatea's mother!

AHH!!!!

im scared.

For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- HL Mencken
Lie together like butt.
Presenting the GFuture, soon to be the Gnow, reality presented by Google.
Welcome to GEarth.
~Baske in the randomness~

Quote

Galatea

Gender

Points 890

Reviews 128

Wed Apr 27, 2005 6:02 am

Galatea says... · Wed Apr 27, 2005 6:02 am

You needn't worry...

she's nuts.

Sing lustily and with a good courage. Beware of singing as if you were half dead, or half asleep; but lift up your voice with strength.

Quote

Priceless

Gender

Points 5391

Reviews 114

Tue Aug 30, 2011 12:54 pm

Priceless says... · Tue Aug 30, 2011 12:54 pm

Hehehehe, love this <3

We're all a little weird. And life's a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.

Quote

We are great at fearing the wrong things.
— Hank Green

Why you can’t date my little Princess Form Letter

About / Info

Forums & RPG

Literary

Resources