Why you can’t date my little Princess Form Letter

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Abolutely hilarious...if you dont get it, it is a way for dads to break up with their daughters bfs for their daughtesr....


Why you can’t date my little Princess Form Letter


Dear _______________,




I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further


contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates


such as yourself also failed to make the final cut.




I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening come available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition:




(Check those that apply)




1. ___Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine my daughter taking it,


hyphenating it, or subjecting my grandchildren to it.




2. ___Your first name is objectionable. It's just not something I can


picture my daughter yelling out in a fit of rage.




3. ___The fact that our first dining experience to date has left MY


wallet a little lighter and YOUR pants a little tighter




4. ___Your social class (or lack there of) is unacceptable i.e. you’re the village idiot or court jester and she is my Princess.








5. ___You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions


about yourself before you asked me more than one about my daughter.




6. ___Your constant emailing shows me you have TOO much time on your hands




7. ___Your legs are skinnier than my daughters. You can FIT into her pants




8. ___You're too short. Any son that she produced would inevitably be


beaten up repeatedly at recess.




9. ___You're too tall. I'm developing a chronic neck condition from


trying to look you in the eye.




10. ___You have a hairy back.




11. ___I find your inability to fix my daughters car extraordinarily unappealing.




12. ___The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an


inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.




13. ___The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation.




14. ___You still live with your parents.




15. ___Although I do enjoy the X-Files, I find your wardrobe of Star


Trek uniforms a little disconcerting.




16. ___Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend lead me to


suspect that you are some sort of psychotic stalker.




17. ___Your ability to belch the alphabet is not a trait that I am


seeking in a long term partner for my princess.




18. ___Your height is out of proportion to your weight. If you should,


however, happen to gain the necessary 17 vertical inches, please


resubmit your application.




19. ___You referred to me as either dude, man, partner, pops, or all of the above, and or when you called me “Sir”, your tone was insincere






20. ___ She is way out of your league; set your sights lower next time.




Sincerely, _________________________________









Comments______________________________________________




_______________________________________________________




_______________________________________________________




_______________________________________________________
"There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around."




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Oh no.. don't show my dad this! lol!
Love and Light




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*blinks*

*falls over laughing*

I love it! I love it! I love it! *goes drag all her friend to the site so that they can read this*
The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief. ~William Shakespeare, Othello
Boo. SPEW is watching.




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HAHA!!! even though i'm not dating yet, I know my dad will want this.




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He he, bad for me.
Cause i'm a one man,
I'm a one man,
I'm a one man,
I'm a one man revolution.




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Good Lord, it's my father. Except the dudes probably wouldn't get as far as the form..LOL...
Got YWS?

"Most of us have far more courage than we ever dreamed we possessed."
- Dale Carnegie




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youre right areida. While I was reading this the first thought that came in my mind was receving a letter and on it, Arieida's D.A.D.
omg.....
Without sensibility no object would be given to us, without understanding no object would be thought. Thoughts without content are empty, intuitions without concepts are blind.

Immanuel Kant
"Critique of Pure Reason"




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oh no.. someone hide this from my dad..he doesn't need any ideas!
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Medieval Lit! Come here to find out who Chaucer plagiarized and translated - and why and how it worked in the late 1300s.

I <3 Rydia




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Arvandor wrote:youre right areida. While I was reading this the first thought that came in my mind was receving a letter and on it, Arieida's D.A.D.
omg.....



LOL...Arvy, you need to chill. :wink:

Actually, I think it would be better to get a letter from my dad...he's really intimidating in person and I'm not even scared of him...LOL...
Got YWS?

"Most of us have far more courage than we ever dreamed we possessed."
- Dale Carnegie




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lol yeah! Cuz you said he was a shrink and all. :shrugs:
Without sensibility no object would be given to us, without understanding no object would be thought. Thoughts without content are empty, intuitions without concepts are blind.

Immanuel Kant
"Critique of Pure Reason"




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Well these are the one that could potentially fit me, even though i've never gotten to this stage where I need the father's acceptance or whatever lol


nicklepickle wrote:1. ___Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine my daughter taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my grandchildren to it.

I do kind of have a strange name I admit. When I was younger I hated it and couldn't imagine it fitting with any name, but I realized a while ago it can, and alot of people like my last name.

nicklepickle wrote:5. ___You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions
about yourself before you asked me more than one about my daughter.

I'm not talkative and i'm shy at the same time, so I wouldn't imagine it being a good thing when your talking to your girlfriend's father.

nicklepickle wrote:6. ___Your constant emailing shows me you have TOO much time on your hands

That is something I do now...well it's only with Rachel and I don't email her. She's not my girlfriend but I call her every single day. I was on the phone with her once a couple weeks ago and her mother asked Rachel if she was going out with me; that's how much we talk.

nicklepickle wrote:11. ___I find your inability to fix my daughters car extraordinarily unappealing.

I have no mechanic skills what-so-ever. But my dad has been a mechanic for 34 years so I might ask him to teach me some stuff.

nicklepickle wrote:19. ___You referred to me as either dude, man, partner, pops, or all of the above, and or when you called me “Sir”, your tone was insincere

Well this one is an opposite of what I do. If ever I meet the father of a girl I know, even if I don't like her, I call him "sir" and if I meet her mother, I address her as "ma'am". Sometimes I guess some parents prefer that I don't call them that... maybe making myself look to uptight or something ::shrugs::
ἓν οἶδα ὅτι οὐδὲν οἶδα




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I always call a mother madam or Mrs. I try to look as presentable as possible. Hair combed back, parfumed, in suit, a bottle of wine for the father and mohter and flowers for the lady of the house. no sudden moves or weird sayings, manners at the best, walking straight, no immature laughing, talking with big words, but still acting as a charming gentleman in every single way. Also when I kiss the mothers hand, it lasts no more than 2 seconds. Also when you talk with her parents esspecially father look him stright in the eyes. Give him the expression that you WANT to be on his stature, his level. and when you sit in the couch always cross your legs and place one hand nt over hte shoulder of your gf but on the sofa.
Without sensibility no object would be given to us, without understanding no object would be thought. Thoughts without content are empty, intuitions without concepts are blind.

Immanuel Kant
"Critique of Pure Reason"




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lol i gave it to my dad as a joke, thinking he would just laugh, but instead he laughed and said he's gonna use it... eep




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My father is (thankfully) not this terrible. It's my psycopath mom that the boys get to worry about. She really dislikes Qi, poor thing.

Arvy, that's such a neat way to great parents. Its so...traditional. I love it. I wish chivalry still lived in America *sigh*
Sing lustily and with a good courage. Beware of singing as if you were half dead, or half asleep; but lift up your voice with strength.




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Arvandor wrote:I always call a mother madam or Mrs. I try to look as presentable as possible. Hair combed back, parfumed, in suit, a bottle of wine for the father and mohter and flowers for the lady of the house. no sudden moves or weird sayings, manners at the best, walking straight, no immature laughing, talking with big words, but still acting as a charming gentleman in every single way. Also when I kiss the mothers hand, it lasts no more than 2 seconds. Also when you talk with her parents esspecially father look him stright in the eyes. Give him the expression that you WANT to be on his stature, his level. and when you sit in the couch always cross your legs and place one hand nt over hte shoulder of your gf but on the sofa.


*falls over laughing* Oh my gawd! I got face lift! Arvy please come and pay for all my clothes! I don't know! Do you think this makes me look fat?

Okay... Here's what I do different if I WERE to do that. Always call the parents Mr. [White] or Mrs. [White]. It shows that you do more then acknowledge that he/she is the father/mother of the girl you are going out with. I don't gel my hair the first couple nights, as that looks too fresh and new to look at. Perfume? I daresay! I use cologne, but one sprey in the air is enough. Suit? Depends on the occasion, same with the gifts. I'm only 17 so any relationship I would be in would not call for such actions. But I guess it's more approriate when you are older. But one thing that's different, is that I be myself when I talk, do things, or eat. Mannerisms are essential, but they are in my regular routine. You want the parents to know you as in my case (BlueStone), not Carey's boyfriend. Father's stature? Oh, I usually have to come down, as they tend to get offended by my 'level'. BE YOURSELF!! And I don't cross my legs, as that shuts off blood supply to the top leg. If you do this too much, you will get veins when you are old. Something about damaging veins rings a bell... But I'm glad someone here shares the same chivalry as I do; Arvy always seems to satisfy...

~BS



Teach a man to fish, he eats for a day. Don't teach a man to fish, you eat for a day. He's a grown man. Fishing's not that hard.
— Ron Swanson (Parks and Rec)